


Fall in Deep

by superfluoussplendor



Series: Falling [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hate to Love, Latino Lance (Voltron), M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Singing, Slow Burn, guitar playing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 47,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfluoussplendor/pseuds/superfluoussplendor
Summary: Keith discovers that Lance has a hidden talent. It helps him to see the boy in another light and start to come to terms with his changing feelings.OrPidge is surrounded by idiot boys and it seems to be up to her to push them in the right direction.





	1. Lo Siento

**Author's Note:**

> I started to write this a little bit ago. I wanted to get more of it done before I started posting it but I think having feedback will greatly increase my motivation. Also singing/guitar playing Lance is becoming increasingly popular on tumblr and I wanted to get this started before the floodgates open and everyone gets tired of it.
> 
> I totally support trans Pidge!! but I also like girl Pidge so she's girl Pidge/Katie in this. Also it furthers my plot *shifty eyes*
> 
> The POV is going to switch between Keith and Pidge. At least one each per chapter.
> 
> Reference videos will be at the end of each chapter for the songs Lance sings.
> 
> There will be bad language and some angst. I will write an epilogue for this fic that will likely be explicit but I am planning to put it as a sequel so you can read it on its own or skip it.
> 
> Extra little disclaimer here I see Hunk/Keith/Lance as somewhere between 17 and 19 and Pidge as 16ish. That may or may not be canon but it makes my head less achey so let's go with that...
> 
> That is all I have for now. Please enjoy!

Keith had been on the training deck for hours. The last battle the team had fought against the Galra had been difficult. Everyone was fine—even Lance. True-to-character he, had gotten wounded and had to spend less than a day in a healing pod, but otherwise the team had been unscathed.

Still, Keith could not shake the feeling that he had failed. Lance may have been headstrong and reckless, but Keith had hesitated. No one blamed him—no one even really seemed to have noticed his delayed response—but he knew that he could have gotten to Blue and pushed her and Lance out of the way before the debris had hit them. He had frozen like he’d been hit by the blue lion’s freeze ray and it had resulted in Lance getting a nasty head injury and obliterating his flight helmet.

If the debris had punctured Blue’s hull, her paladin would be dead.

Keith let out a frustrated noise as he finally beat the gladiator at level 5. He stood with his blade out at his side, panting as the bot dissipated into nothing.

He was trying to exhaust himself to the point of not thinking but all he could see was the collision, the feed fuzzing out with Lance’s yell ringing in all of their ears, and the crushing silence that followed. He saw Hunk carrying a partially conscious Lance out of his lion with blood streaking his face mumbling about his “moneymaker.” He replayed the moment where he froze over and over, watching the greater part of a broken Galra ship smash into the blue lion.

He couldn’t understand what had happened. He was the best pilot, the fastest. He flew on instinct alone but in that moment some nameless fear had gripped him and his teammate had paid for it. It didn’t matter that Lance was not his favorite person—to put it gently—he was a paladin and when he wasn’t goofing off and acting recklessly Keith could sometimes imagine a world in which he respected him. Regardless of Keith’s feelings the spastic idiot was beloved by the rest of the team and didn’t deserve to be beaten half to death or suffocated by flying space junk.

He groaned again. His body was too tired but his mind was still loud, reminding him of his failure in bright technicolor.

He had stayed in the healing bay while Lance was in stasis, unable to leave until he knew the other paladin would be ok. The second the tell tale whirl of the open sequence began Keith rushed from the room.

He felt more than heard Lance hit the floor with no one there to catch him as the door released.

Keith passed Hunk and Pidge in the hallway as they rushed to the room. He kept his eyes downcast so he didn’t see their questioning glances.

He heard Lance greet them before he rounded the corner. “What you doing down there?” Pidge asked humor in her voice.

Lance laughed. “Dunno. Guess there wasn’t anyone to ‘ _cradle me in their arms_.’”

Keith was out of earshot and only heard bits of Lance and Pidge fighting ‘what … idiot’ but he heard Hunk’s wail of “Laaaance!!!” loud and clear before the doors to the training room whooshed close.

~~~

The team had stayed in the healing bay for almost a full hour after Lance had been placed into stasis but it was becoming apparent that the healing process would take hours and they were all tired from the battle. The initial readings on the pod assured them all that Lance would make a full recovery, they just needed to be patient.

Shiro was the first to leave. He told them again that they had done well, assured them that Lance’s injuries were not anyone’s fault, and asked that they all take care of themselves.

Pidge dragged Hunk from the room when the grumbling in his stomach became loud and persistent. “It will be hours Hunk. I coded the pod to alert my gauntlet interface when it goes into its release cycle.” The tech genius had taken to wearing her flight suit gauntlet around the castle to help her interface with all of the ship’s tech. “We will be back just in time for him to wake up. I promise.”

Hunk’s bottom lip quivered as he let her drag him from the room leaving only Keith.

Pidge found it odd that Lance’s ‘ _archnemisis_ ’ would be so concerned. She personally would call him a frienemy, knowing full well that the animosity went—or at least had originally started—from one direction. She couldn’t really fault Keith for his dislike of the blue paladin. She found Lance annoying and he actually liked her. She was beginning to wonder if there was more beneath the rivalry and open hostility.

She and Hunk had eaten, and showered, sat in companionable silence for a few hours while working on their own projects, and were about to head back to the galley for a snack when Pidge’s gauntlet beeped.

The small sound seemed to shatter the quiet room and she and Hunk stared at each other for a second before jumping to their feet and rushing toward the healing bay. In their rush they almost bowled right into Keith who was walking in the opposite direction.

Pidge would almost swear that he seemed to be leaving the bay. She opened her mouth to tell Keith the news that Lance was about to wake up but the red pilot was looking anywhere but in their direction so she shrugged and raced down the hall after Hunk and his damn long legs.

As they rounded the corner into the room they heard Lance drop to the floor unceremoniously with an ‘oof.’

Pidge snickered. “What you doing down there?”

Hunk’s lip was quivering again and he reached down to pull Lance up and into a bear hug burying his face in the smaller boy’s neck.

Lance laughed but he seemed groggy. “Dunno. Guess there wasn’t anyone to ‘ _cradle me in their arms_.’” He blinked a few times to clear his vision and put his hand up to where there had been a gash barely eight hours ago. “Hey Pidgeotto you got a mirror on you? Gotta check the merchandise.” He was recovering well if the snarky look and flirt pout were anything to go by.

Pidge wasn’t sure how she had managed to not kill him yet. He’d been awake for 3 seconds and her blood was already boiling “I told you not to call me that! And what makes you think I carry a mirror on me?!”

Lance shrugged. “Never know when you’re gonna meet your space husband Pidgey.” His grin was as dazzling as it was infuriating. Pidge’s eye twitched.

Hunk seemed to finally find his voice and wailed loudly and pitifully into the juncture of lances neck and shoulder. “Laaaaaance!”

The blue paladin grimaced at the volume, but patted the large man on the back reassuringly. “It’s okay Hunk. I’m fine.”

“I was so worried man! There was so much blood and you weren’t making any sense. You kept rambling on about your face and how some chick would never like you if you weren’t pretty but it made no sense and you were slurring your words a lot. I don’t know but it was super scary.”

Pidge noticed that Lance’s face was a little red, but as she was sure Lance felt no shame—like ever—she went to go inspect the read out on the pod. Nothing seemed abnormal so she just chalked it up to exertion, or the very real possibility that Hunk was crushing the air out of him.

Lance smiled, running his arms soothingly down Hunk’s back—at least as far as he could reach. “I’m sorry buddy. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What about me huh?” Pidge raised an expectant eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest.

Lance scoffed, “like I could ever scare you. You’re the most fearless person I know. I don’t know how I didn’t figure it out sooner.” He motioned to her and Pidge realized he meant her gender. “No guy could be that tough.” He smiled warmly, dead serious, and Pidge remembered why she’d never kill him no matter how obnoxious he got.

She bit her lip trying not to smile. Hunk had finally released him and was yawning. Pidge could relate. The battle had begun in the early hours of the morning and they had stayed up to wait for Lance. It was only early evening but she was exhausted.

Lance noticed when she yawned. “Hey why don’t you guys get some sleep? I bet you’re tired.”

Hunk shook his head through his yawning. When he spoke it came out distorted and Pidge and Lance both stared at him with arched eyebrows. “Try again.”

“I said no. I wanna make you something to eat before I crash.” Hunks blurry watery eyes weren’t fooling either of them.

Lance smiled and spoke in a soothing voice. “Hey I appreciate you staying up to make sure I’m okay but I am and I can get food for myself. Really, go to bed.” He squeezed Hunk’s arm. “I’ll probably hit the hay soon myself. Go.”

Hunk frowned but Pidge ultimately dragged him down the hallway to the barracks. “Come on you big lug.”

~~~

It was late and Keith’s body was tired but his mind was still wide awake so instead of running another training simulation he decided instead to explore the castle.

The paladins didn’t have a lot of free time so even though it had been months since Blue had brought them all to the castle ship, there was still much of the castle Keith had not discovered.

He walked to the opposite end of a hallway that led to the barracks and found a staircase that led down. At the bottom there was a shorter hallway with closed doors on either side. The doors were glass like the airlocks so Keith could see the different rooms. Most seemed to be labs or meeting rooms, all the doors closed, but one room at the end of the hall was open. As Keith walked down the echo-y and empty hallway he could hear music very quietly. He walked towards the sound, curious. He was not a music kind of person but he had a beat up radio at the shack that he would often to play to feel a little less lonely. But it had been months since the shack and he only noticed the absence of sound fully when he heard the notes emanating from the room.

When he was finally close enough to see in he had to put a hand to his mouth to stifle the noise of surprise. The room looked like an elegant library. There were floor to ceiling shelves filled with books of all shapes and sizes, all cast in a pinkish purple glow from sconces on the walls. The room was rounded but in a waving shape and there was one long padded bench stretching almost entirely around the room.

In one alcove different objects that Keith would guess were instruments were haphazardly placed in cases and on shelves.

But what really made Keith’s breath catch in surprise was Lance. The blue paladin was positioned on the bench mostly turned away from Keith. His head was tipped back and his eyes closed. In his lap was an alien version of what Keith would assume was an acoustic guitar. Lance was strumming it absently like he was testing it. He made a face, scrunching up his nose before strumming slightly differently.

He looked down at his left hand on the neck without noticing Keith in the shadows watching him and began to sing. His hands dragged along the strings making a scratching noise that Keith, was surprised, wasn’t unpleasant.

“G _otta go and get angry at all of my honesty_  
_You know I try but I don't do too well with apologies_  
_I hope I don't run out of time, could someone call the referee?_  
_'Cause I just need one more shot at forgiveness_

_I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice_  
_And by once or twice I mean maybe a couple a hundred times_  
_So let me, oh let me redeem, oh redeem, oh myself tonight_  
_'Cause I just need one more shot, second chances_ ”

 

Keith had heard the pop song on the radio a handful of times and often changed the station after that—if he was being honest—but the way Lance sang it was hauntingly beautiful. He was quiet, eyes closed like he was praying, all the while accompanying himself on the guitar-like instrument. He was awash in the glow of the lights and the color made him look soft and calm—two things Keith never thought he would say about Lance.

Keith’s eyes widened as Lance sang the chorus in rapid Spanish.

“ _Eh! Déjame decirte lo siento,_  
_Y Es que te echo en falta en cada momento_  
_Ooooh_  
_uh uuh Déjame decirte lo siento_  
_Y es que no-o-o te quise fallar_  
_¡Espero que me puedas perdonar!_  
_Lo siento oh ooh..._  
_Lo siento oh uh Oooh oh..._  
_¡Lo siento!_  
_Y es que no-o-o te quise fallar_  
_¡Espero que me puedas perdonar!_ ”

Keith couldn’t move or breathe. Lance looked so peaceful and Keith might not have been very musically inclined but even he knew that Lance was good—like **really** good.

It was like Keith had never really met him. In his mind Lance was this boisterous, competitive, show-off that always needed to be the center of attention. He was loud mouthed with an easily bruised ego and endless obnoxious energy. Keith couldn’t reconcile what he knew with the image before him of a man quietly singing to an empty room looking relaxed in his own skin.

Lance bragged about things he was not good at. Hell things he sucked at! But here he was with something to actually brag about and as far as Keith could tell, no one knew about it.

Hunk was Lance’s closest friend at the Garrison (and now on team Voltron) and had a pension for snooping, and exposing secrets—without malicious intentions—but he had never said a thing about Lance being a talented musician. Keith may not have known the yellow paladin well but he was pretty sure that if Hunk knew about this it would have come up. Hunk seemed star struck at his friend’s most mundane achievement. It was the majority of why Keith believed they were probably friends.

“ _I'll take every single piece of the blame if you want me to_  
_But you know that there is no innocent one in this game for two_  
_I'll go, I'll go and then you go, you go out and spill the truth_  
_Can we both say the words and forget this?_

_Eh! Déjame decirte lo siento,_  
_Y Es que te echo en falta en cada momento_  
_Ooooh_  
_uh uuh Déjame decirte lo siento_  
_Y es que no-o-o te quise fallar_  
_¡Espero que me puedas perdonar!_  
_Lo siento oh ooh..._  
_Lo siento oh uh Oooh oh..._  
_¡Lo siento!_  
_Y es que no-o-o te quise fallar_  
_¡Espero que me puedas perdonar!_ ”

As the song wound down Lance added some flourishes with the ‘guitar’ and did impressive things with his voice. When it was over he shook out his hands before playing around with different chords aimlessly.

Keith realized that Lance would eventually look up and notice him now that the song was over. He didn’t want to get caught but he felt drawn in so he took a couple steps into the room and spoke, “uh.”

Lance whipped his head up and seemed to freeze. “Shit Keith you scared me.” He ran a shaky had through his hair, “geez just when a guy was beginning to relax.” He blew out a breath becoming instantly hostile. “Came to remind me what a shit pilot I am?”

Keith just gaped at him unsure what to do with this abrupt change in attitude.

“I…just. I wanted to see how you were doing.” Keith wasn’t sure where that came from. It was true but he wasn’t sure what filter in his brain let that sentence out of his mouth.

The glint in Lance’s eyes softened minutely. “Oh.” Lance raised a hand to ghost over his brow where his helmet had cut him. “Yeah I’m good. Didn’t even scar.” He huffed. “Lucky break.”

He looked up at Keith. He seemed to be searching for something, his eyes narrowed and his mouth set. “How did you know I was down here?”

Keith ran his fingers through the longer bits of hair at the back of his neck nervously. He wasn’t sure what was making him feel so uneasy. He was always a little uncomfortable in interpersonal situations but he was usually better at keeping his composure. He felt warm all over and there was the buzzing of electricity in his chest and head. “I was exploring the castle and I heard the music. You’re really good you know.”

Lance narrowed his eyes further. “How much did you hear?”

Keith shrugged. “The whole thing.”

Lance’s eye twitched. “You were spying on me?!”

“No. No! Hey I just heard you playing and you looked like you were somewhere else and I didn’t want to interrupt…”

“So you stood in the shadows and creeped?!”

“No I—God Lance why do you make it so hard for me to be nice to you!?” Keith turned on his heel to leave, grumbling, “I’m going back to the training deck,” mostly to himself.

Lance—the bastard—stage-whispered, “Surprise…” and Keith huffed in annoyance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5kO4y87Gew  
> "Lo Siento" Spanish cover of Justin Bieber's "Sorry" performed by Leroy Sanchez (Also this boy could totally be Lance...)


	2. We don't talk anymore

Pidge woke early the next morning after having gone to bed so early the day before. The castle was quiet, everyone seemingly asleep.

She made her way quietly to the galley to make some space goo for breakfast. In the months since joining team Voltron, the group had come across other foods on planets they freed from the Galra, but the castle’s pantry was still stocked primarily with the gelatinous goo. It reminded Pidge of the classic movie her father had shown her and Matt, _Flubber_.

As she sat at the counter and pushed the stuff around her bowl she thought about the team and their experiences over the past few months. They had all made leaps and bounds since their first missions but the team was still splintered.

Lance still treated Keith with hostility, though it seemed to Pidge that sometimes Lance forgot he hated the red paladin and treated him with the same easy camaraderie he was capable of with everyone else in the universe. The moment Lance remembered that Keith was his rival he would close up and act even more antagonizing than usual. It was frustrating for the whole team but they hadn’t had a lot of time to reconcile their differences between training and barely surviving each battle.

Now that she had a moment to ponder it, Pidge let her mind wonder. She knew that Lance had looked up to Keith at some point, just like he still looked up to Shiro. She wasn’t sure if it was just because they had been in the same class that had turned respect into competition or if there was something deeper. She knew Lance had been hurt that Keith didn’t recognize him the night they had saved Shiro, but she had come to learn that Keith was kind of clueless when it came to anything that wasn’t fighting or piloting.

The situation was becoming more and more frustrating. She liked Keith but her loyalty was with Lance. He had been her teammate after all and in the past few months they had gotten closer—a lot closer.

Lance was a lovable idiot who was incredibly affectionate with those close to him. He was boisterous and annoying but Pidge knew it was mostly to cover his insecurities. He acted like a horndog but Lance was just incredibly passionate and actually had a romantic streak a mile wide. He hit on all the women they came across with abandon but Pidge was pretty sure he wouldn’t know what to do if any of them actually flirted back. Not to say that Lance was inexperienced. Although he refused to talk about details with her, Pidge was pretty sure the opposite was true. He just seemed uninterested in going through with anything, preferring to flirt for the fun of it. Pidge wondered if maybe he had some girl back home she didn’t know about.

She couldn’t really blame girls for liking him. He was tall and slim with pretty light brown eyes and tan skin. He had wide shoulders and a lithe build. He was sweet and warm and actually a very good listener when he wanted to be.

She felt bad for Keith. Not only was Lance a wonderful friend to have, but also Lance and Keith’s ongoing battle caused Hunk and herself to pick sides, further isolating the red pilot. She wasn’t entirely sure Keith minded though. He seemed to prefer solitude or spending time with Shiro. She knew they had history but neither of them had talked about it much.

She had finished her goo and was walking back to the barracks. She bee-lined for Lance’s room hoping to check on him. Despite the technology of the healing pod she was still worried about him. He had been hurt more often than any other individual on the team. She could chalk it up to his brashness like the others, but to her it seemed more like self-sacrifice. They all gave him a hard time for being egocentric and vain but when it came down to it Lance was always stepping in to protect the rest of the team no matter what it cost him personally.

She opened the door to his bunk with her hand over her eyes. “I hope you’re decent.”

No reply.

She peeked through her fingers and looked around the room. No Lance. The door to the adjoining bathroom was open and dark and empty. She frowned.

She had to walk by most of the common spaces the team used on the way to the galley and she hadn’t seen anyone. She knew that there was still a lot of the castle that remained unexplored but part of Lance’s personality was needing to be the center of attention, which meant he rarely did things alone. She could hear Hunk’s snoring from here so she knew Lance wasn’t with the yellow paladin.

She tried not to get too worried but she had been noticing Lance’s distance lately. She knew he was homesick—they all were—but Lance seemed to be especially close with his family and the longer they stayed away from Earth the less Lance was able to hide his sorrow. It caused him to become increasingly affectionate and more apt to seek out solitude in equal measure.

At first Pidge and Hunk had left him alone, thinking the space might help, but Lance was only looking more depressed.

She was walking past Keith’s door on the way to wakeup Hunk when it opened suddenly and the red paladin walked right into her.

He managed to keep her from falling on her ass by holding her by the shoulders at arms length apologizing profusely. “I’m sorry Pidge I didn’t expect anyone to be awake. Are you okay?”

 

“Its fine Keith. My bad.” She extricated herself from his hands taking a step back and lifting her arms as if to prove it. He still looked remorseful. “I’m fine. Really.” Keith was in his suit, which meant he was on his way to the training deck. Pidge had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. The boys on this ship were so predictable.

“What are you doing up so early anyway?” Keith asked.

Pidge blushed. She felt like a double agent talking about Lance with Keith. “Um…I’m worried about Lance. He wasn’t in any of the normal common spaces or his room and he’s been really down lately. I was just going to go grab Hunk and try to figure out where he’s hiding.”

“Is he okay?” Keith’s expression was unreadable but his words were genuine. It supported Pidge’s theory that Lance was an asshole and that Keith did not deserve the shit Lance put him through regardless of whatever had happened between the two of them. She would have to talk to Lance sooner rather than later and finally ask him what their fucking deal was.

“He really misses his family I think. They’re really close and he’s never gone this long without seeing them.”

Keith seemed genuinely sad and nodded. Pidge was about to continue towards Hunk’s room when Keith’s face lit up. “Oh!”

Pidge looked back at the man, eyebrows raised.

“I think I might know where he is. Let’s go wake up Hunk.”

Waking up the yellow paladin took just as long as Pidge had expected. Keith, on the other hand, seemed surprised.

When he was finally up Pidge dragged Hunk behind her as she followed Keith up to the training deck and down to a previously unexplored hallway. As Hunk slowly woke up they chatted more and more. Mostly Hunk whined about not having breakfast and Pidge rolled her eyes, but as they came to the bottom of a staircase Keith held his fingers to his lips to silence them.

They were on the same floor as the barracks Pidge was pretty sure, but the hallway didn’t connect. On either side of them were rooms with big glass doors. Pidge was ecstatic to see all of the lab equipment and tech, and probably would have squealed in glee had Keith not quieted them a moment ago. As she walked down the hall it became apparent why.

There was soft music coming from the open door to the right at the end of the hall.

“ _Don't wanna know_  
 _What kind of dress you're wearing tonight_  
 _If he's holding onto you so tight_  
 _The way I did before_  
 _I overdosed_  
 _Should've known your love was a game_  
 _Now I can't get you out of my brain_  
 _Oh, it's such a shame_

_That we don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore_ ”

She gasped as she rounded the corner and Hunk quickly followed suit. Lance whipped his head to look up at them from where he was hunched over an instrument that looked vaguely like a guitar. Pidge noticed two things right away. One that the room they had walked into was an enormous and beautiful library (she screamed internally), and two Keith had disappeared quickly from leading them to standing behind Hunk almost as if he were hiding. She couldn’t really blame him though. Lance seemed less than happy to see his two best friends in the universe let alone the bane of his existence.

~~~

Keith had trained for another hour after he left Lance in the library but it did nothing to dull his frustration. When he tried to sleep finally he tossed and turned, unable to get the other boy out of his mind. Over the past few months he had seen the way the Lance was with the others.

Lance was quick to smile and laugh, and conversation seemed to come easily to him. He was physical with the others, always throwing arms around shoulders or hugging and when the others touched him he leaned into it.

Even with Keith, Lance tended to lean into his personal space but with Keith, Lance was hostile and argumentative. Keith knew that he had crossed some line with Lance back on Earth before he had left the Garrison but he wasn’t sure what it was or when. He didn’t actually remember a lot of interaction with Lance but that was probably some of the problem.

Even so, sometimes Lance seemed to forget to hate Keith and there were brief moments of…something.

Keith didn’t know how to fix it or even where to start. Even when he tried to be nice, like last night, it blew up in his face, and his patience with the other boy was wearing thin.

It was early morning now, he’d gotten a few hours of sleep and he wasn’t likely to get more so he decided to get up and train. He changed quickly, opened his door, and ran directly into Pidge, almost bowling her over.

After he’d apologized profusely she told him she was looking for Lance. Keith was surprised to learn that Lance was upset. He knew the others were homesick but Lance always seemed to be his normal upbeat self, he never would have known that the distance was weighing on him so heavily.

Keith found that it hurt to think about. There was the feeling of a weight in his chest and he frowned, but then he remembered the library and the song and Lance’s peaceful demeanor and realized that Lance had seemed wistful as he played the alien instrument. Keith thought he was just calm but now that he saw it in his mind in light of this new information he realized Pidge was right, Lance had been sad.

He offered to show her the room he had found Lance in last night, confident that was where the blue paladin was and they set off to wake up Hunk.

It was harder than Keith ever would have imagined, to the point where he was uncomfortable with the idea of this man having the future of the universe resting in his hands. With the help of Pidge they had wrestled Hunk onto the floor. The drop hadn’t affected him; he was still loudly snoring. Pidge pinched his nose closed and he made a few strange noises before finally waking up.

Pidge dragged him behind her as they both followed Keith down to the library.

They had found Lance in the same place Keith had discovered him the previous night. Keith was a little happy to note that Lance looked equally unhappy to see the other two as he dodged behind Hunk.

“What are you guys doing up so early?”

Pidge walked closer to the blue paladin. “We were worried about you. Did you sleep at all?”

Lance looked away pouting. “A little…How did you guys find me anyway?”

Pidge said. “We were looking all over—“ at the same time Hunk said. “Keith told us,” and stepped out of the way to expose the shorter boy who had been hiding behind him.

Lance groaned. “Damn it Keith I told you I didn’t want everyone to know!”

Keith raised a finger. “Technically you didn’t.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I heavily implied it.”

Keith shrugged and grimaced. “Yeah that’s fair.”

Hunk turned to Keith first accusingly. “You knew about this?!” Keith assumed he meant the singing/playing. Hunk turned to Lance with the same accusing look. “You were keeping this from me?! Why?!”

Pidge spoke up next, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear. “Why would you want to keep this from us Lance? You sound really good.”

Lance looked between his two friends, stubbornly avoiding Keith’s gaze, like refusing to acknowledge him would make him disappear entirely. “I don’t know it’s dumb.” He looked sad again, lost almost.

Pidge took pity on him and walked over to where he sat with the instrument in his lap, looking down at his hands. She threw an arm around his shoulder and leaned her head against him.

Keith had noticed more and more of these easy touches between the two. This wasn’t the first time that he had questioned the extent of their relationship. Everyone knew how Lance was with women. When Pidge had identified herself as a girl it was probably only a matter of time, but Keith would be lying if he didn’t say it made him a little uncomfortable. Pidge was too young and even if she wasn’t she seemed too inexperienced for Lance’s rampant libido.

On the other hand she was a paladin of Voltron and if she could be trusted with 1/5 of the burden of saving the universe Keith felt he also had to respect her choice in men. Even if that man was a salacious flirt.

Lance returned the gesture, wrapping one arm around Pidge's waist and tipping his head against hers. Hunk sat close on the other side of Lance so that their thighs were touching.

“Its okay Lance. You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to but we know now, will you play for us?”

Keith looked away from them. Pidge was speaking in such a sweet and gentle voice like someone trying to comfort a skittish cat.

There was a long pause. “My sister and I performed it at her sixth grade talent show last year.” Lance’s voice sounded so close to breaking. Pidge just nodded. She looked up at Keith and smiled a small sad smile.

Keith sat against the wall, watching the three paladins as if they were in their own little world. He was worried that too much noise or movement from him would shatter the peaceful moment so he kept quiet and just listened.

Pidge looked up into Lance’s face, still leaning against him. “Will you play it for us?”

Eventually Lance began to play quietly and Pidge moved away a little to give him space.

“ _We don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore_  
 _We don't talk anymore, like we used to do_  
 _We don't love anymore_  
 _What was all of it for?_  
 _Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

_I just heard you found the one you've been looking_   
_You've been looking for_   
_I wish I would have known that wasn't me_   
_Cause even after all this time I still wonder_   
_Why I can't move on_   
_Just the way you did so easily_

_Don't wanna know_   
_What kind of dress you're wearing tonight_   
_If he's holding onto you so tight_   
_The way I did before_   
_I overdosed_   
_Should've known your love was a game_   
_Now I can't get you out of my brain_   
_Oh, it's such a shame_

_That we don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore_   
_We don't talk anymore, like we used to do_   
_We don't love anymore_   
_What was all of it for?_   
_Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do_

_I just hope you're lying next to somebody_   
_Who knows how to love you like me_   
_There must be a good reason that you're gone_   
_Every now and then I think you_   
_Might want me to come show up at your door_   
_But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong_

_Don't wanna know_  
 _If you're looking into her eyes_  
 _If she's holding onto you so tight the way I did before_  
 _I overdosed_  
 _Should've known your love was a game_  
 _Now I can't get you out of my brain_  
 _Oh, it's such a shame_ ”

‘ _It’s a Duet_ ,’ Keith thought, that’s why Lance’s little sister asked him to perform with her. Keith thought that if she had even half the talent of her older brother she must be amazing.

“ _That we don't talk anymore (We don't, we don't)_  
 _We don't talk anymore (We don't, we don't)_  
 _We don't talk anymore, like we used to do_  
 _We don't love anymore (We don't, we don't)_  
 _What was all of it for? (We don't, we don't)_

_Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do_   
_Like we used to do_   
_Don't wanna know_   
_What kind of dress you're wearing tonight_   
_If he's giving it to you just right_   
_The way I did before_   
_I overdosed_   
_Should've known your love was a game_   
_Now I can't get you out of my brain_   
_Oh, it's such a shame_

_That we don't talk anymore (We don't, we don't)_   
_We don't talk anymore (We don't, we don't)_   
_We don't talk anymore, like we used to do_   
_We don't love anymore (We don't, we don't)_   
_What was all of it for? (We don't, we don't)_   
_Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do_   
_(We don't talk anymore)_

_Don't wanna know_  
 _What kind of dress you're wearing tonight (Oh)_  
 _If he's holding onto you so tight (Oh)_  
 _The way I did before_  
 _(We don't talk anymore)_  
 _I overdosed_  
 _Should've known your love was a game (Oh)_  
 _Now I can't get you out of my brain (Whoa)_  
 _Oh, it's such a shame_  
 _That we don't talk anymore_ ”

At the end Lance looked hollowed out. Keith felt for him. Keith didn’t have any family left and he’d been on his own a long time but he remembered what missing your family felt like. Pidge put both her arms around him and squeezed. Keith heard Lance mumble something to her and Pidge replied. “Don’t call me that,” without much heat behind it

Lance locked eyes with Keith and Keith could see his joker’s mask slip right back into place. “Wow sorry to be a downer guys how about something a little more upbeat.” He knocked Hunk and his shoulders together and waggled his eyebrows at Pidge.

“This one’s for you girlie.”

Pidge moved back against the bench and crossed her arms over her chest. She rolled her eyes. “Well you can count me as appropriately apprehensive Lancelot.”

Lance grinned. Keith was pretty sure it was genuine. “You know that’s really not much of an insult.”

“Not everyone in the universe is constantly trying to fight you.” She looked toward Keith pointedly but Lance ignored her. He shrugged and played the opening chords to the next song.

“ _Could dress up, to get love_  
 _But guess what?_  
 _I'm never gonna be that girl_  
 _Who's living in a Barbie world_

_Could wake up, in make up, and play dumb_   
_Pretending that I need a boy_   
_Who's gonna treat me like a toy_

_I know the other girlies wanna wear expensive things, and diamond rings_   
_But I don't wanna be the puppet that you're playing on a string_   
_This queen don't need a king_

_Oh I don't know what you've been told_   
_But this gal right here's gonna rule the world_   
_Yeah that is where I'm gonna be, because I wanna be_   
_No I don't wanna sit still, look pretty_

_You get off on your 9 to 5_   
_Dream of picket fences and trophy wives_   
_But no I'm never gonna be, cause I don't wanna be_   
_No I don't wanna sit still look pretty_

_Mr. Right could be nice, for one night_   
_But then he wanna take control_   
_And I would rather fly solo_

_Then Snow White_   
_She did right in her life_   
_Had 7 men to do the chores_   
_'Cause that's not what a lady's for_

_The only thing that a boy's gonna give a girl for free's captivity_   
_And I might love me some vanilla but I'm not that sugar sweet_   
_Call me HBIC_

_Oh I don't know what you've been told_   
_But this gal right here's gonna rule the world_   
_Yeah that is where I'm gonna be, because I wanna be_   
_No I don't wanna sit still, look pretty_

_You get off on your 9 to 5_   
_Dream of picket fences and trophy wives_   
_But no I'm never gonna be, 'cause I don't wanna be_   
_No I don't wanna sit still look pretty_

_Sure I'm a pretty girl up in a pretty world_   
_But they say pretty hurts_   
_And I don't wanna sit still_   
_I'm a pretty girl up in a pretty world_   
_But no I won't sit still, look pretty_

_Oh I don't know what you've been told_   
_But this gal right here's gonna rule the world_   
_Yeah that is where I'm gonna be, because I wanna be_   
_No I don't wanna sit still, look pretty_

_You get off on your 9 to 5_   
_Dream of picket fences and trophy wives_   
_But no I'm never gonna be, cause I don't wanna be_   
_No I don't wanna sit still look pretty_

_Oh I don't know what you've been told_   
_But this gal right here's gonna rule the world_   
_Yeah that is where I'm gonna be because I wanna be_   
_No I don't wanna sit still, look pretty_

_You get off on your 9 to 5_  
 _Dream of picket fences and trophy wives_  
 _But no I'm never gonna be cause I don't wanna be_  
 _No I don't wanna sit still, look pretty_  
 _Sit still, look pretty_  
 _Sit still, look pretty_  
 _Sit still, look pretty_  
 _Sit still, look pretty_ ”

 

Lance and Hunk were both smiling. Hunk had gotten into the song, even duet-ing—poorly—with Lance during the chorus. Pidge was unmoved other than one eyebrow raised.

“Did you just sing me a whole song about how I’m not pretty?”

The other boys’ faces fell. “What? Nooo! Damn it Pidgey it’s a girl anthem about not settling for **just** _pretty_.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Let me guess you learned that one for your sister too.”

Lance laughed. “Its so cute you think I have just one sister.”

Keith was asking before he had a chance to stop himself. “How many sisters do you have?”

Lance and Hunk grinned. “Three.”

Pidge whistled. “Shit.”

Keith was surprised too. Lance talked about his family and how much he missed them to the others but Keith realized he didn’t know any details. By the look on Pidge’s face he figured she must not have gotten many either.

Hunk screwed up his face in concentration. “Don’t you have a little brother too?”

Lance hummed in affirmation. “Yeah and the older one. Remember? You met him.”

Hunk was excited. “Oh yeah he made the sopapillas and he has the little boys?”

Pidge’s eye seemed to be twitching. “There are **six** of you?!”

Lance rolled his eyes like Pidge was overreacting. “Yeah manita. I’ve got two little nephews and one niece already too.”

Keith could relate to Pidge’s reaction. He was still sitting away from them trying not to draw too much attention to himself, just enjoying watching the others interact without drawing Lance’s ire. He, Hunk, and Shiro were all ‘only child’s’ and Pidge just had Matt so finding out Lance was one of six children was a little surprising.

He’d also noticed what Lance had called Pidge. He didn’t know Spanish but he recognized it as a term of endearment. The other boy had said it so casually and neither Pidge nor Hunk had reacted which just reinforced Keith’s suspicions. He felt a strange sensation in his chest that he chose to ignore.

Keith got up to leave. The three other paladins were talking animatedly and Lance’s homesickness was forgotten, at least for now as he regaled the other two with stories of his siblings.

No one batted an eye as Keith quietly excused himself from the room, or at least he thought. His back was turned so he didn’t catch the way Pidge watched him leave, a look of concentration on her face like she was considering a difficult piece of a puzzle before Lance drew her back into the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We Don't Talk Anymore - Charlie Pluth (Cover by Leroy Sanchez) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_hdgv923_g
> 
> Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya


	3. Cold Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's jealousy increases and Lance tells Pidge and Hunk about his family.

Pidge and Hunk had spent hours with Lance after that, reminiscing about home. Lance told them about all of his siblings. Gabriel, Gabe for short, was the eldest. He was in his early 30’s, making him over a decade older than Lance. He had two boys with his wife and lived very close to their parents’ house. Lance said that it felt like he had never really left home with how often he and the boys were over.

Lance’s oldest sister, Estella, but everyone called her Stella of Stel, was in her mid 20’s but still lived at home. She was a single mom to Lance’s niece, Sonja. Pidge could tell from Lance’s voice when he talked about Stella that he was incredibly protective of her and disapproved of Sonja’s father.

Lance was the middle child. Pidge felt this probably explained a lot but she thought so affectionately.

His younger sister and the sibling closest to him in age was Celeste. The way Lance talked about her, Pidge could tell the two of them were very close; just as much friends as they were siblings. She felt that Celeste was the person Lance missed the most—other than maybe his mother. Lance had mentioned that Pidge reminded him a little of his little sister and neither Hunk or Pidge had been surprised. He’d started calling her ‘ _manita_ ’ months ago and she didn’t mind. Lance was nothing like her big brother but he was a big brother and the relationship helped to fill the hole of Matt’s absence.

Lance’s youngest siblings were 5-year-old twins Andre and Anita, but everyone referred to them as Nita and Dre. Hunk told Pidge all about them. He had gone home with Lance once over spring break and met some of the family. They had spent the whole week playing with the twins and the nephews on the beach. Gabe had been out of town for work but had come back the last night before they went back to the Garrison. Celeste had been on a volunteer trip doing some sort of ecology project and Stella and Sonja had spent time with Sonja’s father, much to Lance’s distress.

After Pidge and Hunk found out, Lance became far less shy about his musical talent. He was still more reserved about showing off than Pidge would have expected, but he would play in the common room upstairs as the other paladins milled in and out. He knew a wide range of styles and took requests, usually in the form of genres or bands but often knew the actual songs too. They learned early on that Lance played by ear so if he had heard the song enough on Earth he could figure it out or at least a close approximation.

Allura and Coran’s reactions had surprised them all. Just like with Lance’s ears the first time they had met, Allura was unimpressed by Lance’s playing, and even a little bit appalled. She had walked in to all of the paladins sitting around Lance as he played an old Amy Winehouse song.

“ _Well sometimes I go out by myself_  
 _And I look across the water_  
 _And I think of all the things, what you're doing_  
 _And in my head I paint a picture_ ”

“What is that awful racket?!”

Five pairs of wide eyes turned to the princess. Lance stopped abruptly, muting the instrument with his palm.

“Uhhh…” None of them knew what to say. Shiro—being Shiro—recovered the quickest. “Lance was just showing us his musical talent. He knows a lot of different music and I think everyone was just enjoying hearing songs from home.”

Allura looked around the group eyes skeptical. “Enjoying?”

Keith surprised everyone including himself when he was the first to jump in to defend Lance who was starting to look a bit deflated. “He’s really good. Honestly he’s one of the most talented musicians I’ve ever seen.” Lance gave him a funny look but Keith avoided his eyes, feeling his face heat up minutely. “I mean…in person.”

Allura looked around the disapproving faces of the other paladins. “Really? This is what Earthlings consider music?” She began to look appropriately remorseful. “I am sorry Lance I did not mean to offend you.”

Lance smiled. “No problem Princessa. When I found this,” he motioned to the instrument in his lap, “I thought it was really out of tune but I think Altean’s just have a very different relationship to sound than Earthlings do.” As he spoke he turned the knobs on the guitar playing one string at a time over and over until he was satisfied with the sound then moved on to the next. “I think it has to do with our ears. Here.” When he was satisfied with each string—plucking each one again for good measure—he strummed them all together eliciting an awful sound and a negative reaction from each of the other paladins.

Allura was smiling and close to tears. She had her hands clasped up near her heart. Lance was half laughing half cringing. “Coran! Coran get in here!” Allura called down the hall as she went to find him.

“What the hell is that?!” Pidge cried placing her hands over her ears.

Lance just laughed and shrugged. “I guess Altean’s hear dissonance the way we hear harmony? I think it’s something to do with their ears and the way the points bounce sound? I think to Allura and Coran, our music sounds as bad as this…,” he strummed the guitar again, “does to us.”

Keith watched the blue paladin laugh and antagonize Pidge as she tried to grab the instrument away to get him to stop making the sound. Shiro looked like he was trying to remain disapproving but failing and Hunk was gritting his teeth and covering his ears.

When the two Alteans returned Lance strummed a few times for Coran causing the man to actually blubber. “What a beautiful sound. I thought I would never hear such wonderful sounds again in my lifetime!” He and Allura hugged each other tearily and Lance frowned. “I’m just sorry I can’t play anything for you guys. There is no music like this on Earth.”

Allura smiled warmly and pecked Lance on the cheek. “It is enough to just hear it this way,” she said as Lance’s whole face turned red. “I am sorry about what I said earlier, truly. Please continue playing your Earth ‘music’ we will leave you to it.” She said ‘ _music_ ’ like she was still very skeptical and Lance began to tune the guitar again.

~~~

The universe had been surprisingly quiet of late. The team had checked out many planets in the month since they had all learned of Lance’s talents but most had been friendly or deserted. The lack of activity from the Galra empire was making Pidge nervous. She enjoyed the exploration and the “shore leave” but her family was still missing and she had a terrible feeling at the back of her mind.

Thankfully the other paladins were a good distraction. Lately she had been trying to figure out Lance and Keith’s rivalry. She wanted to unify the team and she had no issues with Keith but—other than brief moments of camaraderie—Lance still seemed to hate the other paladin. Pidge couldn’t figure out why and Lance would not volunteer any information. He would always change the subject or make some sort of dumb excuse when asked. “He has a mullet Pidgey! How can you not hate someone with a mullet?” or “He thinks he’s the shit just cuz he’s a good pilot.”

Pidge was starting to believe more and more that there was something going on there but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

She was sitting on the floor of the common room tapping away at her computer while Lance played idly on his ‘ _guitar_ ’. Hunk paged through an Altean instruction manual for the castle trying to learn from the schematics.

When traveling between planets this had become the norm. Sometimes Shiro or Keith would join, but more often than not they were off training or maintaining their lions. Of course the team still had daily training activities and team building exercises but Allura and Shiro—or as Pidge liked to think of them as ‘ _Space Mom and Dad_ ’—agreed that leisure time was important. The fate of the universe may be in their hands but they were all still kids after all. Working too hard had proven counterproductive to team building.

As if her thoughts had caused him to materialize, Keith walked into the room. He sat away from the others, out of Lance’s line of site, although Pidge could tell that Lance still noticed him. He sat cross-legged and closed his eyes. ‘ _Meditating_ ’ she guessed.

She pushed a lock of her hair back behind her ears. It was getting longer. Allura had offered to cut it for her but she had declined.

She had cut it as a disguise and now that the rest of the team knew about her she didn’t see the point of keeping it short. She wondered why Matt didn’t just buzz his. The length was so annoying in her space helmet. It was too short to pull back but too long to not get in her face. She had left it long before the Garrison because she disliked getting her hair cut—preferring instead to do it herself—and because it was easier to pull back and out of the way when she tinkered with her projects.

She was looking forward to it growing to the length where she could braid it out of her face. It was long enough now that she could braid it into two sections but she was pretty sure even Shiro would tease her if she wore pigtails…

She was suddenly distracted from her thoughts when she glanced at Lance and saw his eyes directed to Keith. The other boy was still sitting with his eyes closed. She couldn’t read the expression on Lance’s face but she had seen it before and knew that the second Keith looked back it would change to annoyance or anger.

She noticed Keith watching Lance too especially as he played guitar or interacted with the rest of the team. She wondered if either of them was aware. If she had to hazard a guess it looked a bit like longing but that didn’t make sense. Lance was very outright about his interests (any woman in the galaxy) and Keith was—well, Keith. She shook her head and focused back on her computer. She didn’t have enough motivation or energy to really care about those two idiots at the moment.

~~~

It had been almost an entire month since Lance’s last near death experience. There had been no attacks from the Galra and very little news at all from the empire. The team had spent their time visiting planets and aligning themselves with alien leaders. The time in between planets was spent on the ship training and working on their own specialties.

Keith was training harder than ever, sometimes with Shiro but often on his own against the gladiator. Pidge was continuing to learn about the tech in the castle and worked on updating their defenses. Hunk was learning the mechanics of the ship and their lions.

Lance spent the majority of his free time in the common area playing quietly while the others worked on their own projects. Keith found it soothing to sit and listen after training and Lance tended to just ignore him. When the other boy wasn’t looking, sometimes Keith just watched him. He still couldn’t believe the difference between the Lance that quietly played guitar and the boisterous teen that he interacted with daily.

Keith had finished training for the day—meaning he could feel every tiny muscle in his body with every movement. He tried to avoid working himself to exhaustion—the team needed to be battle-ready at a moment’s notice—but sometimes it was the only way to quiet his mind.

He had taken up meditating a few years back. At first he had thought of it as a stupid waste of time but as he got older his temper became increasingly worse. He had grown up with very few people to depend on and with his emotions out of control he couldn’t even depend on himself. Meditation became a way to maintain that control and it was infinitely easier when his body was exhausted.

He also found that the version of Lance that played quietly and sang softly to otherwise soundless rooms helped to focus him too. He found it odd that the same person that often riled him up to the point of boiling over with rage was the same person whose calm presence he often sought out. He was too tired to really think about it. He trudged slowly to the common area. Following the gently sound of strumming

“ _Everybody gets high sometimes, you know_  
 _What else can we do when we're feeling low?_  
 _So take a deep breath and let it go_  
 _You shouldn't be drowning on your own_ ”

Keith tried to enter the room as quickly and unobtrusively as possible. Lance seemed to be more tolerant of his presence lately but he was worried about pushing his luck. He wondered sometimes why Lance’s moods seemed to fluctuate so much when it came to him. The blue paladin appeared to be very consistent in his reactions to the other pilots, but Keith always felt like he was riding the knife’s edge of Lance’s patience.

He sat as far away from Lance as he could while still being able to see the other boy. He was surprised to note that it was just the two of them. Hunk and Pidge had probably gone to tinker with something.

“ _And if you feel you're sinking, I will jump right over_  
 _Into cold, cold water for you_  
 _And although time may take us into different places_  
 _I will still be patient with you_  
 _And I hope you know_  
 _I won't let go_  
 _I'll be your lifeline tonight_  
 _I won't let go_  
 _I'll be your lifeline tonight_ ”

Keith realized he wasn’t entirely sure Lance had noticed him enter the room. He seemed immersed in the song he was playing. This one was likely more complicated than what he usually played. He did seem to be doing a lot of interesting picking techniques and he was tapping the instrument like a drum.

“' _Cause we all get lost sometimes, you know?_  
 _It's how we learn and how we grow_  
 _And I wanna lay with you 'til I'm old_  
 _You shouldn't be fighting on your own_  
 _I won't let go (I won't let go, no no, no no no no)_  
 _I'll be your lifeline tonight_  
 _I won't let go_  
 _I'll be your lifeline tonight_ ”

Keith was settling into his position on the floor, eyes closed, breathing slowing. He was letting the sound of Lance’s voice wash over him and round out the edges of his worries.

“ _Come on, come on_  
 _Save me from my rocking boat_  
 _I just wanna stay afloat_  
 _I'm all alone_  
 _And I hope someone's gonna take me home_  
 _Somewhere I can rest my soul_  
 _I need to know you won't let go_ ”

The sound of Pidge and Hunk laughing and talking as they approached from down the hall made Keith snap his eyes open again. He watched Lance for a moment before quickly looking away, not sure why he was so worried about being caught.

When Pidge rounded the corner she made a beeline for Lance. He had stopped playing and was looking at the new arrivals with a bright smile on his face. Keith felt like his heart skipped a beat. Lance looked so different with that thousand-watt smile on his face, younger almost. It fit him in a way that his flirty smirk and cocked eyebrows didn’t. It was more…honest—genuine.

As Pidge and Hunk made it over to them Lance ran his eyes around the room. They settled on Keith momentarily but he didn’t look surprised. Keith couldn’t tell what the expression on his face meant but it was gone quickly.

“Did you figure it out?” Lance asked. Pidge was grinning and nodding. Hunk was behind her also smiling and shaking with suppressed laughter. The three friends spoke animatedly for a while. Keith tried to be subtle about watching them, feigning meditation. He noticed the easy touches they exchanged. Lance got up off the padded bench he’d been sitting on to sling an arm around Hunk’s shoulders as they laughed at some dumb joke that had Pidge rolling her eyes.

Seeing Lance laugh made Keith’s chest feel tight. He realized he had been worried about the other boy, but Lance’s homesickness had been less apparent lately, though Keith was sure it was still there. Still the other boy seemed happier. Keith attributed it to Pidge and Lance’s relationship. The two paladins hadn’t said anything about it as far as Keith could tell but it was obvious they were involved.

They were constantly together, talking quietly or just enjoying each other’s presence. Even when Pidge would work on her tech and Lance would be playing some song they often sat so close to one another that some part of their bodies were touching. Keith still didn’t know how he felt about it.

Their interactions were sweet and innocent but Keith still felt that Pidge was just so young. The relationship didn’t stop Lance from flirting with aliens they found along the way, but he had been more subdued lately, and often Pidge would laugh and tease him about it. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a distinct wrongness about them. It often made him so uncomfortable that he would leave the room any time they acted openly affectionate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Valerie - Amy Winehouse
> 
> Cold Water - Major Lazer Acoustic cover by Megan Davies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XTFyIiNGC8&index=8&list=PLSmqGJWeU5cYUg11NIVCHO7-o3Xf2PB6B


	4. Cheap Thrills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little background on Lance and Keith's experiences at the Garrison and Hunk and Lance being dorks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I am having a hard time pacing out the middle parts. This is a bit of a filler chapter just getting a little more background on Lance and Keith. Also I am trying to squeeze more Hunk in there (dealing with this many characters is hard). Hope you enjoy!

“How do you keep getting all of the 2’s?!”

Lance cackled as he pulled all of the cards into a pile again and began to shuffle. Pidge was sitting with Lance and Hunk in the library they had found Lance in what felt like forever ago. They had found old Atean playing cards—Pidge wasn’t all that surprised to learn that most evolved planets had playing cards. The Altean deck had 5 suits and 15 cards in each suit. Together the three friends had modified the deck.

Hunk was surprisingly good at doodling and had been tasked to create the face cards. The suits were based on an Altean version of the five elements. They kept Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water. Lance had been quoting some cult classic movie while Hunk snickered. Pidge was going to stuff the last fifth of the deck in his mouth if he said ‘ _multipass_ ’ one more time.

She couldn’t be mad though, not really, every time Lance said it Hunk would say, “Yeah she _knows_ it’s a multipass,” and they would dissolve back into giggles.

She drew the line at Lance calling her Leeloo though. “But Piiiiiidgey! The orange hair is perfect!”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “It’s not orange its chestnut…”

“Oh my god.” Lance clutched his chest dramatically with one hand and Hunk’s shoulder with the other. “That is _so_ girly!”

“Shut up idiot.” She crossed her arms over her chest. She wanted to be annoyed but Lance had a point.

Hunk chuckled. It rumbled deep in his chest so that Pidge felt it more than heard it. “Aww it sounds cute though. Like a pony.”

Lance lost it. He was bent over, clutching at Hunk for dear life as the other boy grinned happily. Pidge harrumphed and grabbed for the partially shuffled deck. “You know what? I’ll be the dealer this time. You’re probably cheating.”

Lance took a few deep breaths. Wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes. “Ha…heh…that was awesome…” He grinned in spite of Pidge’s pointed glare. “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. We can play Rummy 500 again if you want.”

Pidge couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t been close to Hunk and Lance—or any of her classmates—while they were at the Garrison. She was too absorbed in searching for her family, but now it felt like the three of them had always been together. It was a small comfort in the face of losing Matt and her father but the team—and these two especially—were everything to her now. “No I want to beat you at your stupid ass game that you keep making up dumb rules for.”

Lance mock-gasped. “1) I can’t believe that everyone thinks _I’m_ the competitive one and B) how dare you! I am not making it up! 13 is a fabulous game passed down for generations!”

Pidge dealt the cards and Lance snickered. “I swear to god Lance if you have the-.”

Lance place the 3 of Earth card between them. Pidge groaned. “Every. Damn. Time.”

As they played they reminisced about their days at the Garrison. Pidge mostly listened as Lance and Hunk had been there a whole year before she had infiltrated the school. She had heard things about Lance from some of their classmates. Many of the girls had thought Lance was too arrogant and obnoxious but some of the girls had been rather taken with him.

It seemed obvious now that he had grown up strongly influenced by the women in his life. He was a goof but he would do a lot to make a girl smile, and as much as he flirted with his words he was always respectful in his actions.

The boys talked about him too. When Keith had been expelled, Lance had moved up into the top percentile of the pilot class. At the Garrison, each specialty was divided into groups by merit. From what Pidge understood, during his first year, Lance had tied with many of his peers for the lowest qualifying fighter pilot score. Based on his scores in his other classes he was offered the last spot in the fighter class but infamously turned it down so that one of the Senior girls could graduate as a fighter pilot.

Pidge had believed, like the rest of her classmates, that this had been a suave move on Lance’s part, but now she knew him better.

“Why’d you turn down fighter class your freshman year?”

The abrupt question caused both boys to jump. Hunk looked at Lance with a warm knowing look on his face. Lance acted like a self-centered narcissist but you didn’t get a best friend like Hunk if you were a complete tool.

Lance tried to look casual. “Wasn’t good enough.”

Pidge raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “No one here believes that. Besides they offered it to _you_. You gave it to that girl though. Why?”

Lance sighed. They’d had enough ‘heart to heart’s’ at this point that Lance knew better than to lie to her. She kind of hoped he didn’t want to anymore.

“Isla.” He blew out a breath, obviously uncomfortable with the serious turn this conversation had taken. “It was her last year. She worked really hard to get her score. It didn’t feel right taking her dream away from her when I had more time to realize mine.” He played with the fibers of the carpet/mat thing they were all sitting on. He didn’t meet their eyes. Hunk threw an arm around his shoulders, nearly knocking him over. He was smiling brilliantly down at Lance.

“But what if Keith hadn’t gotten kicked out?”

Lance huffed an annoyed breath, finally looking at Pidge. “I worked hard. I might have been in the cargo class but I measured myself against Keith every way I could because he was the best.” He ran a hand through his hair glaring off into space. “Iverson said I only got into the fighter class because Keith washed out but that wasn’t true. My score was more than good enough to make me a fighter pilot at the start of the year.”

Hunk nodded animatedly. “It’s true. Lance worked way hard. He almost doubled his score on the piloting test. He set a record for most improved score in a single year.”

Pidge could feel her mouth hanging open. She had known that Lance was smart and dedicated but she never knew just how impressive he was. He seemed to brag constantly but when it came down to his actual achievements he was more reserved. Looking at him now he seemed uncomfortable and she realized more than anything she wanted to hug him, so she practically threw herself across the small gap between their bodies and grappled him to the ground laughing “You’re amazing Lance.”

Soon he was laughing too and Hunk was lifting them both up in a bear hug. His deep belly-rumble-laughter gently vibrating against them.

~~~

Keith was working on his footwork, a suggestion from Coran. As absurd as the man was, Keith found that he was actually quite knowledgeable on a wide variety of topics.

In his youth, Coran had competed in the Altean equivalent of fencing and had given Keith some pointers on his sword technique. Keith would usually just fight the bot until he beat it at a given level but Coran had explained to him the importance of motion. He had actually called it ‘ _finesse_ ’ but that word made Keith cringe a little—and only partially because it seemed like something Lance would say. At first he had been skeptical but he had stubbornly persevered and he could tell the difference in his movements. It felt more effortless and he knew his reaction time was better.

He walked in a straight line across the room, swirling and parrying and slashing. When he got to the other side he stopped and let his bayard retract—or dematerialize or whatever. He wasn’t really sure of the correct word for it. It was one of those Altean words that didn’t really seem to translate.

He walked back to where he had left a water bag and sat down heavily to sip it. Even with the physical exertion, his skin still felt prickly and ill-fitting. He sighed. He was used to it—feeling like a stranger in his own skin. It had been worse lately. Space was beautiful and exciting and full of possibility like he had always dreamed it would be, but there was no real escape from the castle ship and his restlessness.

Still it was better than the Garrison.

His time spent alone in the desert was isolating but he had never felt more alone than he had surrounding by the other cadets. Flight school had been both a dream come true and a nightmare. Keith loved flying and he was amazing at it, but he had problems with authority and social interaction that made a boarding school like the Galaxy Garrison feel more like a prison.

His issues with authority had been what inevitably forced him to leave. Iverson had offered to allow him to return if he ever managed to ‘ _check the bad attitude_ ’ but Keith was pretty confident that setting off explosives within 200 yards of the school’s campus probably negated that deal. Kidnapping a quarantined captive that also happened to be a presumed dead pilot and alumni of said school, and then escaping into space, probably didn’t help matters either.

Even before breaking Shiro out of quarantine with the other paladins, Keith was not planning on going back.

He had dreamed of being a pilot for as long as he could remember—or really, since he had discovered that it was something that he was good at and could get him where he wanted to go. Where he wanted to go hadn’t been so much a place as an idea though. Really Keith just wanted to get ‘ _away_.’ At first the Garrison had been a means to an end but very quickly It had become just another place Keith wanted to get away from. Even before his mentor—and the only person in Keith’s life he ever really felt close to—disappeared in space, Keith had been struggling.

Keith wasn’t like the other cadets. He was a phenomenal pilot—many had called him the best of his generation—but he had never been good at being part of a team. Pidge, Hunk, and Lance made a great team. Pidge was a tech genius that could have gone far at the Garrison had she been there under better circumstances.

Hunk was one of the greatest engineers Keith had ever had the privilege of working with and unlike most of the engineers Keith had dealt with in the past, was incredibly humble and sweet.

And Lance…Lance was…a conundrum. Of course Keith had heard the stories. Lance was one of the most talked about underclassmen at the school, other than maybe Keith himself. Where Keith had gotten the highest flight test score that had been recorded for an incoming freshman, Lance had just barely made the cut.

He had then, infamously, given up his spot to undeniably the most attractive senior girl at the school, despite his obvious desire to be in the fighter class.

Like the other cadets, Keith had assumed that Lance had given up his spot as part of a ploy to entice the girl into dating him. Surpirsingly he had then spent a year watching Lance fight tooth and nail to improve himself. The other boy had proclaimed them rivals and spent most of his time in their shared classes pointlessly challenging him.

Keith had been annoyed. He hadn’t really been able to fly under the radar because of his high score, but Lance’s devised rivalry brought a lot of attention to the both of them, which caused Keith to dislike him almost immediately. His obnoxious personality didn’t help. Nor did watching him flirt with every girl in class, using frankly cringe worthy pick up lines.

Still, Keith had never been able to reconcile with the idea that Lance had postponed the attainment of his own dream just to get with a girl. Even if he had done it out of the goodness of his heart—something Keith suspected only after seeing Lance as a paladin of Voltron—it was something Keith still couldn’t understand. As someone that had to fight for even the smallest concessions in his life, he couldn’t understand sacrificing something so important just to help another person.

Keith sighed. He had been lost in thought as he returned to his room and rinsed off the sweat of his workout. He understood himself well enough to know that something had changed about the way he reacted to Lance, but he didn’t have enough experience with interpersonal relationships to determine quite what it meant.

He walked down the hall to the common area, still thinking about the Garrison and his teammates. Pidge and Hunk were in the room when he arrived. He was at once relieved and disappointed that Lance was not there. Hunk and Pidge were laughing and talking, something about robots Keith was sure. When they noticed him they both waived.

“Heya Keith!” Pidge greeted breaking out into a grin.

Hunk smiled warmly in his direction. “Hello Keith.”

Keith plastered on an ill-fitting but friendly smile. “Hey Pidge, Hunk. Where is everybody?”

Pidge gave him an odd look, probably because ‘ _everybody_ ’ in this context was just Lance. Shiro rarely joined them in the common room unless they were working on something as a team. Allura and Coran were never frequent visitors but had become less inclined to be in the commons area since Lance had found the guitar-like instrument he was so found of playing.

Hunk didn’t seem phased. “Coran was working on something in the crystal room earlier. Allura and Shiro were speaking in that little sitting room upstairs—you know, near her room.” Keith and Pidge both raised an eyebrow at that. “And Lance said he was spending some ‘ _alone time with his special lady love_ ’ so I guess he’s working on Blue in the hangar.” He emphasized what had obviously been a direct quote of Lances.

Keith watched Pidge shake her head in a very ‘put upon’ way before she sighed. “That sounds like him.”

Keith shrugged—not really knowing how to react—and went to go sit in his usual spot. He had worked on Red earlier that morning. Collectively they were still pretty unsure of exactly how the lions worked so they all spent quite some time getting familiar with the machinery. Often Coran would help them but bonding was also an important part of piloting the lions—an idea Keith was pretty sure he would never get used to—and so they each spent a lot of time alone with them.

He had just barely settled in, tuning out Pidge and Hunk to quiet murmurs, when Lance walked into the room, as dramatic as always.

“Hello beautiful people. Diddddd you miss me?” he directed the words at the other two pilots.

Keith looked up just in time to see Lance shoot him a look somewhere between a scowl and a pout with one eyebrow raised. Keith continued to watch him as he turned back to his friends waiting expectantly for an answer.

They spoke at the same time.

“Of course I missed you buddy!” Hunk said entirely without sarcasm.

“Were you singing _True Blue_ to your Lion again?” Pidge asked.

Lance grinned. “Thank you Hunk.” He pointed at Hunk as he stared Pidge down. “This is why _he_ is my best friend, and of course! Blue is my one true love and Madonna is her favorite.”

Hunk grinned stupidly and winked. “I _ship_ it.”

Lance burst out into loud laughter with Hunk. Even Pidge snickered at their antics. Lance wiped the tears from his eyes. “Hunk that was amazing. I love you man.” He clapped him on the shoulder as he walked by making a beeline for where he kept the Altean instrument.

“Any requests?” he called back over his shoulder.

Keith had been watching the others while trying not to be too obvious. His eyes followed Lance across the room wishing he could participate but also enjoying just watching them interact. He had stifled his laughter at Hunk’s joke so that he wouldn’t draw attention to himself. It was lame, definitely more like something Lance would say, but Hunk had looked so proud of it and their laughter had been infectious.

Lance was walking back with the instrument in hand when Hunk replied. “Can you do that one on our ‘getting ready’ playlist!?”

“uhhh which one? And if you say _Gold Trans Am_ , the answer is no. Even I draw the line somewhere…”

Pidge didn’t look like she believed that. Keith wasn’t sure he did either. What song could Lance possibly be above singing? Especially if it was one he and Hunk seemed to listen to often.

“Really? But I love that one!” Lance shook his head. Hunk continued. “Well I meant the Sia one anyway.”

“Oh! _Cheap Thrills_? Yeah totally. I learned the Spanglish remix with Nicky Jam.”

“I think that is the last song we heard on Earth.”

“Oh yeah I guess you’re right!” Lance stroked his chin. “We _were_ planning to take Pidge out on the town to pick up chicks and bond and stuff.” He chuckled. “Guess that would have been interesting…”

Pidge crossed her arms over her chest. “Hey don’t say it like that! I could like girls…”

Keith whipped his head to look at Pidge.

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”

“Not really…” Lance shot her a knowing look and then sat down to check the tuning on the guitar.

Keith relaxed and watched Lance. He made it look so easy, tuning the instrument by ear.

Lance grinned at Hunk as he started to strum. “This one’s for you bestie:

 _Come on_  
_Come on_  
_Turn the radio on_  
_Porque tengo ganas de bailar_  
_No tengo un peso en el bosillo_  
_Pero no me importa_  
_A mí no me hace falta andar_  
_Con tu cuerpo y la musica me envuelvo_  
_Siento que quemo por dentro_  
_Dirá que soy loco pero que va_ ”

When Lance began singing in English again Hunk joined in. He probably didn’t have a terrible voice but putting himself in contrast with Lance wasn’t doing him any favors. He didn’t really seem to mind though and Lance didn’t seem bothered either.

_Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight_  
_(I love cheap thrills...)_  
_Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight_  
_(I love cheap thrills...)_  
_I don't need no money_  
_As long as I can feel the beat_  
_I don't need no money_  
_As long as I keep dancing_

_Come on, come on, turn the radio on_  
_It's Saturday and I won't be long_  
_Gotta paint my nails, put my high heels on_  
_It's Saturday and I won't be long_

_Till I hit the dance floor_  
_Hit the dance floor! I got all I need!_  
_No I ain't got cash_  
_No I ain't got cash_  
_But I got you baby_

_Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight_  
_(I love cheap thrills)_  
_Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight_  
_(I love cheap thrills)_  
_I don't need no money_  
_As long as I can feel the beat_  
_I don't need no money_  
_As long as I keep dancing_

_I don't need no money_  
_Lo que quiero eres tu_  
_Una noche de rumba_  
_La pica retumba es actitud_  
_Dice lo que quieres_  
_Todo lo que quieres es bailar_  
_Mami, vámonos, que la noche no va a parar_  
_De una lluvia de mujeres colombiosa, domenicas_  
_Morir con aguajera eres tu_  
_Te voy a dar con sinceridad o con toda su sensualidad_  
_So girl what you're gonna do?_  
_De una lluvia de mujeres colombiosa, domenicas_  
_Morir con aguajera eres tu_  
_Te voy a dar con sinceridad_  
_O con toda su sensualidad_  
_So girl what you're gonna do?_

_Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight_  
_(I love cheap thrills)_  
_Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight_  
_(I love cheap thrills)_  
_But I don't need no money_  
_As long as I can feel the beat_ ”

Hunk and Lance were both grinning like fools when the song was over. Pidge looked like she was trying very hard to remain neutral but quickly broke into a small smile. Keith could feel himself smiling too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheap Thrills by Sia Remix ft. Nicky Jam https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsHjVTy3mTE
> 
> True Blue by Madonna https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P51LunEV3Sk
> 
> if any of you would like to find me on Tumblr its superfluoussplendor https://www.tumblr.com/blog/superfluoussplendor
> 
> Also the song Lance refuses to sing is Gold Trans Am by Ke$ha which features the line "Your sweet ass mullet caught my eye" because I think I'm funny.
> 
> Thank you for all the support!


	5. Stitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training exercise goes badly. Pidge gets one step closer to determining what is going on between Keith and Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming out story in this chapter where parents are not completely supportive. Take care of yourselves if this is a triggering situation.
> 
> Also in light of the US election I hope everyone is ok. I know a lot of people all over are pretty scared. Stay safe.

The team had been working on one of their daily training drills. Keith had been paired with Lance—of course. Shiro was under the impression that if the two were constantly thrown together they would eventually figure out their issues. So far it had backfired and yet here they were, yet again being asked to work together.

They were tag-teaming the gladiator on Level 4. When the drill had originally been brought up Keith had scoffed, even with Lance there to slow him down he could beat the gladiator easily. He had already surpassed the specified level.

“Not so fast.” Shiro had said, putting out an arm. Keith stopped short looking up at the taller man with one eyebrow raised. “The object of this drill is to work as a team. We all know how good you are on your own Keith.” Shiro motioned them to come closer. “Give me your bayards.”

“But—” Lance and Keith started to protest together.

“—No buts. You will use these.” He picked up two batons made of the same material as their bayards. “It will take the gladiator out if struck hard enough in the chest or head. And Keith-.” He paused to be sure the other boy was still listening.

“Lance has to be the one to give the killing blow.” Shiro just smiled at the put-upon look on Keith’s face.

Lance just smiled with easy confidence he didn’t really deserve. “Whatever. Piece of cake.” He shrugged, trading his bayard for the baton Shiro held out to him. He twirled it experimentally. Keith was surprised to note that he was quite deft with it.

Pidge or Hunk must have been surprised too because Lance turned to face them and shrugged. “Stel was in color guard in high school. Probably the only reason I know how to hold a rifle.” He made a devious face. “I could probably do some cool tricks with it too if it didn’t turn back into a boomerang…”

“Lance,” Shiro admonished. “It’s a weapon not a toy.”

Lance mouthed ‘ _yes dad_ ’ before turning back to Shiro. He cracked his knuckles obnoxiously. “Come on mullet-head. Let’s do this thing.” The nickname was annoying but Lance hadn’t put any malice in it. If anything he had seemed cheerful and friendly to Keith for once.

The drill started out alright. Keith even thought he was doing a decent job of working with Lance. It reminded him a little of when they had infiltrated the balmera together. Keith was trying to distract the gladiator with hits to its appendages hoping to get it to open up its stance for Lance to take a body shot. The gladiator was fast though and Lance was still not very good with close combat.

Keith thought that maybe now that Lance was finally warming up to him he could offer to help him with his fighting technique. Begrudgingly he thought maybe Shiro had been right after all.

He was distracted with his thoughts so he didn’t see Lance stumble. He didn’t completely lose footing but the gladiator was right behind him. The bot was about to bring down its long stick on the other boy’s back and Keith had vey little time to react.

He threw himself bodily between Lance, who was already turning to face him, and the gladiator. He had just enough momentum to smash his own baton into the bot’s head hard enough to end the sequence and spin away. He over-corrected though and ended up falling to the floor with Lance beneath him.

They both groaned, the hit knocking the air out of them. After catching his breath for a moment he looked down at Lance. He suddenly realized that he was straddling the other boy, his hands placed on either side of his head. Lance was looking up at him with a dazed expression. His eyes looked darker than usual and Keith realized it was because his pupils were huge. He ignored the stirring feeling in his stomach; worried he may have given Lance a concussion.

Suddenly—and rather violently—Lance shoved at his chest, pushing him over onto the floor. “Get off me,” he practically growled.

Keith was sent sprawling on the carpet in surprise. “I…sorry.” Keith couldn’t do much but blink up into furious brown eyes.

“The fuck was that Keith?”

“Laance.” Shiro tried to interject before things got too ugly but Lance didn’t seem like he even heard him. “Where were you? If you hadn’t been off in la-la land you might not have needed to take me the fuck out.”

Shiro stepped between them. “Lance that isn’t fair—”

“No.” Keith got up finally facing the other two. “He’s right I was distracted.” He ran his hand through the back of his hair, rubbing his neck. “I’m sorry Lance.”

Keith watched as something flickered across Lance’s face before settling back into glaring at him.

Shiro looked unimpressed. “Fine that’s it for now. Lance go cool off.”

~~~

Pidge watched Lance storm from the room, not really sure how to feel. Keith, who would normally be fiery at this point just seemed deflated. He quickly exited too, closely followed by Shiro.

Pidge turned on Hunk. “What the _hell_ was _that?_ ”

Hunk shrugged but looked appropriately guilty about it. “You should probably talk to Lance about it.”

“You know something don’t you?” Pidge asked.

Hunk frowned, worrying his lip. “I know lots of things like how you should probably go talk to him.”

Pidge could feel her frustration prickling across her skin. It had been over an hour and Lance still hadn’t emerged from his room.

Pidge was starting to get worried but it barely put a damper on her aggravation. Keith and Lance fighting wasn’t exactly unusual but it had been clear to everyone that Keith had been making an effort not to fight with Lance. Pidge’s frustration with the red and blue idiots was reaching a breaking point, which meant she was ready to give Lance an earful so she pushed the button to activate his door.

Lance’s door whooshed open loudly but the boy didn’t move. From Pidge’s vantage point she could see him just barely in the dim lighting. He was on his stomach on his bunk with his face buried in a pillow. She could tell from the sheen on his hair that he had showered.

“Lance…?”

She could barely hear his reply as it was spoken directly into his pillow.

“I didn’t catch that.”

Lance sighed heavily, finally moving up to look over his shoulder at her. “I said ‘go away.’”

“I’m turning your lights on.” Pidge went to the switch on the wall, ignoring Lance’s protests. “Stop being such a baby. We need to talk—” She paused. With the lights on she could see Lance more clearly and what she saw made her pause. Her earlier anger quickly dissipated.

Lance looked absolutely miserable. He was sitting up in bed now, knees pulled up and his pillow tight to his chest. His eyes were red rimmed but dry.

“Lance? What—“

“It’s nothing Pidge. I’m just tired.”

“I don’t understand. What is going on with you and Keith? Actually you know what? I don’t care right now. I haven’t pushed you to tell me anything but we are all stuck together now. This team is everything I have in the universe and I need us to work. Don’t you get it? Our planet is depending on us. Every inhabited planet in the universe is depending on us. We need this to work. I need this to work.”

Lance hung his head. There was a long pause and then he nodded.

Pidge stepped over to the bed. It was obvious Lance didn’t hear her move because he startled when she leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. “I love you idiot. When you’re ready to talk about whatever is going on. I’ll listen. Now come make a racket in the common room like always.”

Lance’s eyes were shiny as he looked up at her but he blinked them away. “Yeah…I’ll come down soon…. And hey.”

Pidge turned from where she had already reached Lance’s door. “I love you too Pidge.”

She smiled and left to go find Hunk. Lance had arrived in the common area not long after her. The three of them had played a few hands of Lance’s infuriating game before going over to play with his guitar. He and Hunk spoke quietly while he idly strummed different notes.

Keith had walked in after a while, making a beeline for Lance. He stopped in front of the other boy and Pidge pushed aside her laptop to concentrate on the two of them.

“Lance. I really am sorry for earlier.”

Lance looked like he was literally biting his tongue. He caught her eyes across the room and she raised an eyebrow. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry I overreacted…”

Keith looked as stunned as Pidge felt but Hunk just looked quietly proud as Lance refused to meet anyone’s eyes.

Hunk stood. He put a hand on Keith’s shoulder that made the other boy flinch. “Keith I could use your help with something actually.” He led the boy over to a table where he had left some of the mechanical specs he had been working on. Pidge watched them with mild interest before looking back at Lance. She was confused to note that his face was slightly flushed and she wondered for the first time what Hunk and him had been discussing with hushed voices.

She was still mulling things over when Lance began to sing.

 _“I thought that I've been hurt before_  
 _But no one's ever left me quite this sore_  
 _Your words cut deeper than a knife_  
 _Now I need someone to breathe me back to life_  
 _Got a feeling that I'm going under_  
 _But I know that I'll make it out alive_  
 _If I quit calling you my lover_  
 _Move on_ ”

Usually when Lance sang he would watch his hands or close his eyes, but he was staring off into the distance. Pidge followed his line of sight to Keith and her breath caught. Keith was still turned from them, appearing to listen to Hunk discuss the Lion specs but the tension in his shoulders was obvious to her.

Pidge was still inspired to determine what had caused the rift between the two paladins and now her imagination was running wild with her. This wasn’t the first time she had considered some sort of romantic relationship between the two but she had refuted the idea based on the extensive evidence of Lance’s sexuality but now... She thought of the look on Lance’s face earlier when Keith had knocked them both down.

_“You watch me bleed until I can't breathe_   
_I'm shaking falling onto my knees_   
_And now that I'm without your kisses_   
_I'll be needing stitches_   
_I'm tripping over myself_   
_I'm aching begging you to come help_   
_And now that I'm without your kisses_   
_I'll be needing stitches”_

Pidge had thought that Lance had been red with exertion as he looked up at Keith where he had fallen on top of him.

Now Pidge thought about the compromising position they had been in. Keith had been hovering over Lance when he had suddenly gotten so angry and threw Keith off of him. They had landed so that Keith was straddling Lance’s hips, their chests pressed close together. She had thought Lance’s reaction was out of nowhere but now she wondered if his anger had been a distraction to cover up something else.

_“Just like a moth drawn to a flame_   
_Oh you lured me in I couldn't sense the pain_   
_Your bitter heart cold to the touch_   
_Now I'm gonna reap what I sew_   
_I'm left seeing red on my own”_

 

“…oh…” She wasn’t aware she had said it out loud until she looked up at Lance to see him staring at her. He had stopped playing to stare at her apprehensively. His wide eyes must have mirrored her own as he read the look on her face.

He bit his lip glancing from her to the other boys, who had turned to look when the music stopped, and back. He tossed his head over his shoulder in the direction of the door. “Can I talk to you for a second manita.” He shot Hunk and Keith a glance and gritted out. “Alone.”

When he’d dragged her out into the hallway he had one hand over his eyes.

Pidge was still stunned. “You…Keith? But…You like …You’re…” She gaped at him.

“Straight?” Lance sighed heavily and leaned against the wall as Pidge nodded. “I’m really really not.” At her bewildered look Lance blew out another harsh breathe. “I’m bisexual Pidgey.”

“Oh!” Pidge felt a little bit like an idiot for not considering the possibility, but Lance was rarely shy about anything and he was definitely not shy about his interest in women. Pidge had been pretty sure that if Lance were interested in men too she would have noticed.

Before she could say anything Lance asked. “Does it bother you?”

“Why would you ask that?” Suddenly Lance looked smaller than Pidge had ever seen him. Younger too and vulnerable. She placed her hand on his shoulder gently. “I don’t care who you’re into Lance I just don’t understand why you felt like you couldn’t tell me.” She tried to meet his eyes.

“Not everyone is accepting.” he looked at her his eyes shining but he was forcing a smile. “And even people who are, sometimes don’t want to see or hear about it. I figured we are all stuck up here together, don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable…”

“Lance you really thought I—“

“—not necessarily you I just don’t tell anyone I don’t have to. I like women too so its just easier to be… _straight_.” He said the word like it left an especially bad taste in his mouth. He ran a shaking hand through his hair. “Hunk wanted me to tell you but I was just…scared? I guess?”

Pidge nodded slowly. The story was coming together in her head. She tried to squash her feelings of disappointment. This wasn’t about her. Lance had obviously dealt with bigotry in the past. “At the Garrison…”

Lance looked at her. “Its not like I was hiding it exactly I just didn’t say anything and it didn’t really come up all that often.”

Pidge nodded. “Your family?”

Lance flinched and turned away. He had to clear his throat before he could speak. “They know...My dad doesn’t approve of me being with men and my mom—“ He breathed in and out slowly. “If I were gay my mom would understand…its not men she has a problem with she just doesn’t understand about me being bi. She doesn’t believe that…its like she thinks that it’s a sexual deviance thing. I don’t know…”

Pidge could feel tears prickling at her eyes. Lance must have noticed because he smiled at her. “Stel and Celeste understand though. They’re the only ones—other than Hunk and a few friends back home—that I can be myself around. My real self.”

She felt horrible for being the one to cause Lance to look like this, but she also felt murderous to anyone who had ever hurt her friend. “I’m so sorry Lance I—I didn’t know…” she threw her arms around his neck pulling him close—which meant down because like all of these boys he was too damn tall.

“Its okay Pidgey.” He hugged her back fiercely.

“You know I think it makes sense.”

He hummed questioningly in response.

“You being bisexual. Its like…you don’t care what they are…you just care about people.”

Lance’s arms tightened around her and he buried his face in her hair. She knew how uncomfortable he got in these serious situations and thought it would be a good time to break the tension “Oh! And you would bang just about anyone…”

She smirked as he sputtered and stood back. “Hey!” but he was smiling.

They were quiet for a long moment.

Pidge worked herself up to finally say what she’d been wanting to. “You like Keith.” The words hung in the air between them.

“Yes,” Lance finally confirmed.

“Why are you trying so hard to push him away if you’re really into him? I mean that whole ‘being mean to someone because you like them’ thing is a little outmoded don’t you think? Why not tell him? Maybe he feels the same—”

Lance had let Pidge speak for a while, staring at the ground. She couldn’t determine the exact expression on his face but when he finally spoke it was with such finality and an edge of something so…not Lance.

“He doesn’t.”

“But how do you know if you don’t ask him?” Pidge argued.

Lance looked at her seriously. “You asked me to make things work between us and I will try because you’re right. We need to be able to work together as a team, but promise me you will leave this alone.” He gestured between them to indicate he meant their discussion of Lance’s sexuality and his feelings for Keith.

“I promise.”

Pidge couldn’t help but feel disappointed. She had been watching the two boys’ interactions closely for a while now and with this new information she could begin to see things more clearly, but she couldn’t change anything if Lance was so adamant about her staying out of things. Still she had to respect is decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR1fjeF9Mw4&list=PLb70Hus4OzUI02bMGptY4jNwpYszHbaF_&index=35  
> Stitches - Shawn Mendez cover by Leroy Sanchez


	6. Break Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's jealousy hits a breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These last 2 chapters have been killing me but I decided to release them in quick succession.

“She knows now.”

Hunk clapped happily and smiled at the two of them.

The three friends were in the galley by themselves, making breakfast before their daily team training exercise. Shiro had told them at dinner yesterday that they would be trying some of the more difficult exercises again today and they would likely be spending the whole day on training. Allura had looked so proud as he spoke and the rest of the team had groaned.

The ‘ _harder_ ’ exercises meant the mind meld and the invisible maze and Lance looked absolutely miserable. He had been quiet at dinner and had disappeared immediately after.

Pidge tried not to take it personally. She knew everything between the two of them was all right. She had hit a nerve, but Lance still cared about her.

Hunk was still smiling warmly. “I told you she would be cool with it didn’t I?”

Pidge had learned Hunk had quite an array of super powers, not least-of-which was saying ‘I told you so’ without _sounding_ like he was saying ‘I told you so.’

Lance smiled genuinely, glancing at Pidge. “Yeah.”

Pidge felt warm, as she looked up at the two of them. She hadn’t realized how worried she felt about Lance being upset with her. “Soooo does this mean you are going to obnoxiously hit on boy aliens now too?” She mock gasped, “Does this mean you’re going to flirt with Coran?!”

Lance’s face was priceless. “No! Ewwww…Oh my God Pidge!”

Hunk was laughing so hard he was shaking all over. Just as he was settling down Coran walked in with Keith close on his heels. “Ah! Paladins! What are you finding so humorous this morning?”

Lance let out a high-pitched shout, caught off-guard by the entrance of the older man, and Hunk and Pidge burst into renewed laughter. Keith gave Lance an odd look —probably because his face was bright red—and raised an eyebrow at the other two. “Ooookay.”

After the three friends gathered their composure they finished their meals and returned to their bunks to get ready for training.

Training went about as well as expected. They were unable to perform the mind meld due to a technical issue with Lance’s headset. Lance shot her a suspicious look after he had finished his huge sigh of relief. Pidge wished she could have taken credit, or had even thought to do it in the first place after witnessing the incredibly pale and sickly look on Lance’s face as they started.

When she shrugged they both turned to Hunk who was doing everything short of whistling and twirling a screwdriver like a classic Disney animation. Thankfully Space Mom and Dad weren’t paying much attention, nor did they suspect foul play.

Keith on the other hand was looking at them quizzically. He caught Pidge’s eye and mouthed ‘okay?’ and nodded his head at Lance. Pidge smiled and nodded, making a dismissive gesture to assure him.

Keith nodded and stood up to join Shiro and Allura.

The maze went better than anyone expected. Pidge and Hunk were almost perfect. Hunk still got so nervous about messing up and hurting Pidge that he sometimes got flustered and messed up. Pidge, on the other hand, had gotten Hunk through every time.

Keith was the first in the maze for their turn. Unlike the first few times they had done this, Lance had been quiet and reserved, only speaking to give Keith instructions. He got Keith through the maze perfectly for the first time. Keith had looked apprehensive for the last half dozen turns, probably—Pidge figured—because Lance had never managed to pay enough attention to keep him from hitting walls before.

When it came time to switch, Lance took direction without comment or argument and also made it through the maze unharmed.

Pidge watched Keith blink in shock as Lance turned around to look up at him in the control room and said, ‘good job Keith’ into the comms.

They all met down on the training floor after the last drill and Shiro and Allura were beaming with pride. “Okay guys. I know that the technical issues we had with the mind meld were disappointing but you guys still did a great job of working as a team. I am really proud of everyone. Hunk and Lance tomorrow we will work on the firing range simulation.” Lance and Hunk grinned at one another. “Lance could you stay behind for a moment? Everyone else is dismissed.”

 

Lance walked into the common room an hour or so later, freshly showered and smelling of the sweet body products Allura had given him. Pidge gave him a questioning look, still curious about why Shiro had wanted him to stay behind. He just shrugged and smiled. “Just wanted to tell me how awesome I am. You know. The usual.”

Pidge raised her eyebrow, unimpressed, but Lance just grinned in the cocky way Pidge had missed all day.

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes but she couldn’t stop from smiling. “Play me something idiot,” she ordered.

Lance grinned and took up his spot on the padded bench, long legs bent underneath him. He took no time at all to find the chords he was looking for. Humming quietly to himself before he started.

“ _If you want it, take it_  
_I should've said it before_  
_Tried to hide it, fake it_  
_I can't pretend anymore_ ”

A rustling noise behind her reminded Pidge that Keith was in the far corner of the room. When she had come in earlier he had been sitting quietly in the far corner of the room with eyes closed. She turned to look at him now.

“ _I only wanna die alive_  
_Never by the hands of a broken heart_  
_I don't wanna hear you lie tonight_  
_Now that I've become who I really am_ ”

He seemed to be looking past her, mesmerized. She couldn’t really blame him. When Lance played it was like everything else disappeared. Lance himself seemed different, more raw and vulnerable. His song choice tended to be emotional—passionate. This song was the same, and like many of his song choices, it was a window into Lance’s state of mind.

_“This is the part when I say I don't want ya_  
_I'm stronger than I've been before_  
_This is the part when I break free_  
_Cause I can't resist it no more_

_You were better, deeper_  
_I was under your spell, yeah_  
_Like a deadly fever yeah, babe_  
_On the highway to hell”_

Pidge was torn between watching Lance and watching Keith watch Lance. In light of her recent illuminating conversation with Lance, that only served to leave her with more questions, watching Keith became much more intriguing.

_“I only wanna die alive_  
_Never by the hands of a broken heart_  
_I don't wanna hear you lie tonight_  
_Now that I've become who I really am_

_This is the part when I say I don't want ya_  
_I'm stronger than I've been before_  
_This is the part when I break free_  
_Cause I can't resist it no more”_

He still hadn’t noticed her watching. His lips were parted just barely. She couldn’t tell for sure in the low evening lighting of the room, but his cheeks seemed to be tinged just slightly pink.

_“Thought of your body, I came alive_  
_It was lethal, it was fatal_  
_In my dreams it felt so right_  
_But I woke up every time, oh baby_

_This is the part when I say I don't want ya_  
_I'm stronger than I've been before_  
_This is the part when I break free_  
_Cause I can't resist it no more”_

As the song came to a close Keith hastily turned his attention away from the other boy. Pidge turned back to Lance as he beamed at her.

“Something like that?” Lance asked, replying to Pidge’s earlier request.

“Yeah. I was worried for a second you were going to play something sad and emotional,” she replied, her tone dripping with good-natured sarcasm.

Lance chuckled. “You’re a little shit you know that?”

“And yet you still love me.” Pidge smirked.

“I really really do.” She didn’t notice the look Keith was shooting them but she did notice when he got up to leave in a hurry. He mumbled something about having to go. They both stared after him. Lance shrugged. “Good riddance.”

Pidge didn’t find it entirely convincing.

~~~

Keith’s mind was racing. He had been in the common room with Pidge and Lance and they had been bantering or—he guessed—flirting? He hadn’t remembered making the decision to get up or leave; just that the clear thought of ‘ _this is wrong_ ’ had been the loudest thing in his head. He had been grappling for weeks with the idea of Lance and Pidge. He knew it was unfair of him. Pidge was younger than them but she was old enough to make decisions for herself. She was often more mature than the rest of them—barring Shiro of course.

A sick feeling was roiling in his gut seeing the two of them together and he was tired of fighting his instincts. He wanted…something. He wasn’t sure what…He could feel it making his skin itch but he couldn’t put a name to it. He sought out the one person he knew would be able to help him, the only person in the world that really knew him.

He found Shiro on the training deck. “Keith! I thought you were done for the…”

He trailed off staring. Keith knew he was practically vibrating with energy, his hands in tight fists at his sides. He couldn’t quite look at Shiro’s eyes. Unsure of why he thought this was a good idea.

Shiro sighed heavily wiping his human arm across his brow and plopping down into a bench against the wall. “Come on. Sit down.” He waved to the space beside him probably knowing full well that Keith wouldn’t be able to sit with all the energy sizzling through him. “What did Lance do this time? I knew that performance today was too good to last.”

Keith tried to relax his arms. His shoulders were already aching from the strain of trying to hold himself still. He tried rolling them down his back as he opened and closed his fists, still by his sides. “He didn’t…that’s not.” He sighed in frustration. He couldn’t even make sense of this in his own head how was he supposed to explain it to someone else out loud?

Suddenly his temper was back and it was easier to just give in then to fight and Shiro knew him better than anyone. He wouldn’t turn away from him no matter how much he lashed out. “How can you let this go on?! You’re an adult Shiro! You don’t think its wrong?”

The perplexed look on Shiro’s face made him look uncharacteristically young. This was obviously not the way he had expected this conversation to go. “Uh…”

“She’s so young! And Lance is—Lance! How can you let this go on and not say anything. You’re supposed to protect her!” Keith was practically panting.

Shiro opened his mouth and closed it again without making a sound. When he opened it again he just made a long drawn out ‘ehhh’ noise.

Keith was losing his patience and Shiro must have noticed. “So we are talking about Lance and Pidge…and you’re asking if I approve of…what…exactly?”

Keith practically growled. “Their relationship.”

Shiro’s eyebrows shot up. Keith was pretty close to seeing red. He just briefly registered how much funnier that phrase was now, considering his sentient space cat had a comparably murderous temper to him.

Shiro seemed to be piecing things together. He tried for placating. “Keith. Exactly what kind of relationship do you think they have?”

Keith rolled his eyes. He had never seen Shiro as being dense but he was starting to wonder. Maybe his preoccupation with the Princess or his time as the champion had rattled something loose. “They hang all over each other. They flirt and call each other pet names. He calls her something in Spanish all the time…you should hear the way he says it—”

“—manita?” The word rolled off Shiro’s tongue easily. It didn’t sound as good as when Lance said it, but it became abundantly clear to Keith that Shiro must have had more than a little bit of experience with the language.

“Yes!” Keith wanted to be excited because Shiro was finally getting it but he was still on edge so it didn’t help when Shiro burst out laughing. “What!?”

Shiro tried to regain his composure. “Sorry Keith—I.” He snickered again wiping the corner of his eye. “You’ve really never taken any Spanish classes have you?”

Keith leveled a glare at him.

“ _Manita_ is short for _Hermanita._ ”

Keith was still glaring.

“It means little sister Keith…”

“Oh…”

It actually made a lot of sense now that Shiro had said it. Lance treated Pidge in much the same way he treated Hunk. ‘ _Sister_ …’ he let the word roll around his head. He didn’t exactly feel better, just different. He still felt strange but he probably just needed to sleep on it.

When he looked up Shiro was watching him, concern apparent on his face. “Do you want to talk about it?” And Keith had a feeling that he didn’t just mean Pidge and Lance’s nonexistent courtship.

“uh…no.” He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous gesture. “I think I’m going to go…sleep…”

Shiro nodded. “Just know you can talk to me Keith. About anything.”

Keith’s mind was racing as he headed back to his room. He thought that discovering that Lance and Pidge’s relationship was familial and not romantic would change the way he felt and it did to a certain extent, but he could still feel something…

He stopped short as he was passing the common room. Pidge and Lance were still there and Hunk had joined them. Lance had put the alien guitar away and the three paladins were close together all leaning against each other with Lance in the middle. Keith had heard Lance affectionately refer to it as a cuddle puddle on many occasions. They were all laughing. Lance had Pidge pulled to him, her back against his chest. Lance was similarly leaning into Hunk.

They looked so happy and it looked so easy. And maybe that was what bothered Keith so much about Lance, what made his heart hurt when he saw him. Lance had the incredible ability of finding family everywhere he went. Keith didn’t know what that was like, had never come close to feeling a part of something like that. Lance had everything Keith could never have, was everything he could never be.

He was standing at the door watching the others. Drawn in like he always was when Lance was involved. They hadn’t noticed him, which was good because his presence always seemed to shatter the moment. Lance looked up suddenly and Keith froze. He still had a warm smile on his face the kind that was so big his eyes had to be closed to make room on his face.

And Keith couldn’t breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Break Free - Ariana Grande cover by Leroy Sanchez https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VuoPvo0vK4
> 
> I am hoping to write a lot more Keith and Lance interactions now that the set up is out of the way =)


	7. I knew you were trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is so totally fucked...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but I hope you enjoy. Trigger warning for a brief description of violent bullying.

Because of the relative quiet Team Voltron had been experiencing, Pidge had a lot of time to think about their mission. She had spoken to Allura and Coran on countless occasions, wanting to know how everything worked, from the castle and lions, to the distress beacons and the politics of the alliances.

Since the beginning of this journey the team had been reacting to distress beacons, many of which had been received around the time the lions had been disbanded. Pidge asked where the beacons had come from and learned that the planets with beacons had been part of the original Voltron Alliance.

“So shouldn’t we be checking other planets too? Ones that don’t have beacons? Couldn’t there be civilizations out there like the Arusians that are too young to have been around during the original alliance? And besides, the galaxy is a big place and Voltron has been out for the count for a loooong time. So many people could be in trouble and not know how to contact us or even know that there is help anywhere to be had?!”

Pidge was panting slightly from her passionate speech. At some point she had stood bracing her hands on the table and staring down the Princess.

Shiro, who was sitting beside Allura, nodded. “You are completely right Pidge. Allura and I have discussed this before. The team was very green when we started but we are all working better together now. It could still be dangerous. There is always a very real chance that the beacons could be used as traps by the Galra, but at least with planets in the Alliance, Allura and Coran know a bit about them.”

“Oh,” Pidge said slightly deflated. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

Shiro smiled warmly. “That’s not your job Pidge. It’s up to Allura and I to keep you all safe.”

Allura was staring at the side of Shiro’s head, her bronzed skin faintly red across her nose and cheeks. She cleared her throat looking at Pidge’s raised eyebrow and quirked mouth. “Shiro I think Pidge is right. Things have been quiet but we do not know for how long it will hold. It would be good to continue working on the skills of the team. We are nearing a planet as we speak that I know little about. I think we should land and investigate.”

Shiro looked like he wanted to argue. “Being cautious of course.” Allura finished, putting her hands up placatingly.

Shiro seemed to consider for a moment then nodded curtly. “Pidge. Go round up the boys we need to go over strategy in the control room.”

Pidge grinned and did a little victory dance. She ran out of the room to go find the others.

~~~

Keith had barely slept. After the revelation of discovering that Lance and Pidge’s relationship was purely platonic, bordering on familial, he had happened upon the other pilots in the common room. He had paused at the doorway for a moment, fully planning to move on to his bunk, but Lance had chosen that moment to turn his most brilliant smile on Keith and he had frozen like a deer in headlights.

No one had noticed Keith was there in the time it took him to regain his senses and move away from the open door.

Keith had practically run down the hall after that, desperate for the solace of his room.

As the doors whooshed closed Keith leaned heavily against them. His heart was pounding a fierce staccato in his chest.

“What…the hell..was that?” He quietly asked the empty room.

It wasn’t that Keith was unaware of the fact that he was very much into men. He had known from a very young age; he had been 10 years old when he tried to kiss his very first crush. The boy, Bryce, had enlisted a few of their other classmates and the resulting altercation had left Keith with a broken arm, an expulsion, and a new foster family.

It wasn’t even that Keith had been unaware that Lance was attractive. Lance had gorgeous tan skin, pretty brown eyes, wide shoulders, long lean legs—. Keith stopped himself before he could continue thinking along those lines; it was doing nothing for his heart rate.

The problem was that Keith had always been able to distance himself in situations where attraction could lead to deeper feelings, but the sudden realization that he _liked_ Lance had hit him like a freight train. He couldn’t even think the word in his head without it making his skin itch and head buzz with anxiety.

This was not good. Very very very not good. Keith was totally fucked…

Maybe things would be ok, he thought as he paced the floor of his room, Lance had been civil today, but something would happen and he would return to the regularly scheduled jerk he usually was. Sure he was beautiful, and funny in a really embarrassing way, but he was also a huge asshole where Keith was concerned and his little crush wouldn’t survive long. Hopefully.

Keith was still lost in thought when a familiar face peaked through his open door. He had been so caught up in his worries that he hadn’t heard it open.

He heard his name though and it was a testament to how distracted he was that he didn’t recognize the voice right away. What he saw when he turned around made his heart finally slow, so much so that it stopped.

Lance was standing in the doorway bathed in the glowing blue light of the hallway. He seemed nervous, not quite looking at Keith as he spoke. Keith was glad, as he could feel the warmth of his cheeks, a telltale sign of the blush coloring them.

“Where’s your head at space cadet? I called you a bunch of times…”

Keith didn’t know what to say but thankfully Lance continued. “Anyway Pidgey asked me to get you. Mom and Dad want us to meet them on the bridge.”

Keith looked at him puzzled. “No one calls it that…”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah but come on! Classic sci-fi! You know, Captain Kirk, ‘The Final Frontier,’ all that?”

Keith shrugged and raised an eyebrow.

“You’ve never seen Star Trek?!?”

Keith shrugged again. “Twentieth century space exploration drama was unrealistic and absurd.”

“You are so totally Spock…” Lance was smirking but in a way that almost seemed fond. “And for the record, I did say ‘ _classic_.’ Plus the 21st century reboot was _gorgeous_.”

Keith didn’t know how long they stood there staring at each other, only that he couldn’t look away. Lance broke the trance first, turning on his heel and exiting back the way he came. He turned to speak over his shoulder, but didn’t look at Keith. “Come on. We’d better go.”

Keith only spared another moment to appreciate the way Lance had said ‘ _gorgeous_ ’ before following after the other boy. He thought about how much he wanted things to return to normal, but his heart wasn’t really in it.

~~~

Pidge had found Lance in his room playing some god-awful Taylor Swift song. She had asked him to go get Keith and meet her and Hunk in the control room with Allura, Coran, and Shiro.

Now the whole team was assembled, but Pidge was too busy watching Lance and Keith to notice Shiro talking. Keith was standing as far from Lance as he possibly could without drawing the attention of the rest of the team. He seemed incredibly stiff and was seemingly looking anywhere but Lance. Lance seemed similarly distracted but was pulling off pretending to pay attention better than Keith.

Pidge was too busy thinking about how she was going to have another conversation with Lance about antagonizing Keith that she missed Shiro speaking to her. She did notice that everyone in the room was suddenly looking at her though.

“Uhhh…sorry. What was that?” she grinned sheepishly at Shiro.

Lance sniggered and leaned over to elbow Keith conspiratorially. “It seems like she _spaced_ out huh?”

Most of the room groaned but Keith turned almost imperceptibly pink and cleared his throat audibly. Even Lance seemed to notice and gave him an odd questioning look.

“As I was saying,” Shiro began, “Pidge, Allura, and I have been discussing strengthening the Voltron Alliance by visiting planets that were not originally part of the treaties. We are approaching a planet now that is only a couple days out. Initial readings show no Galran activity on the planet’s surface. Does anyone have any questions or concerns?”

Keith was the first to speak up. “What do we know about this planet?”

Allura frowned slightly. “Sadly, not much. We are at the outer reaches of the area in which the original team did most of its work. If the records are correct the castle has never made it this far.”

“We’re hoping that means that the Galra have not made it this far yet either.” Added Shiro.

Lance’s face was screwed up in concentration. “But the Galra have been spreading throughout the galaxy unchecked for 10,000 years. We can’t just assume that the boundaries of the original alliances apply to them too.”

The Princess looked guilty. Pidge would guess it came from Lance’s use of the word ‘unchecked.’ Allura carried a lot of guilt about things that were ultimately out of her control.

“You are right of course.” Allura began but Shiro cut her off.

“That is why we must be cautious and smart about this mission. We don’t know what we are flying into. But I have faith in all of you.”

Shiro looked around the room making eye contact with every one of them. It was easy because—as usual—everyone was looking at Shiro attentively with the kind of admiration in their eyes that only Shiro could inspire.

After a beat of silence Shiro continued. “Well if no one has any more concerns,” he paused giving the rest of the team a chance to speak up but no one spoke, “then we’re left with business as usual. Afternoon training today. Hunk, Lance, you’ll be practicing on the shooting range.” Lance and Hunk promptly descended into ecstatic bro-y behavior, but quietly, as not to draw the ire of the space parents.

Shiro just shook his head, moving on to Keith and Pidge. “Keith that means I need you to work with Pidge on her hand to hand.” Keith nodded curtly and Shiro swept his eyes over to the Alteans. “Coran, I’ll have you work with them. If no one has anything to say you’re all dismissed. We’ll meet on the training deck after lunch.”

As Hunk and Lance moved toward the exit of the control room, Pidge remembered what she had wanted to tell Lance earlier. “Hey Lancelot.” He turned to look at her smiling.

“Yeah Manita?”

“Catch!” She threw a small glowing pink crystal wrapped with wiring at him. He caught it low in the air after a few failed attempts and she giggled. “You can charge your phone now. I made it from one of the crystals Shay’s family gave us. Not sure how long it will last exactly but if it’s anywhere near as powerful as the one that powers the ship, it should be quite a while.”

Lance’s grin was infectious. “Thanks Pidgeotto. You are my favorite little genius!” He held the crystal in his hand like it was something precious and deserving of awe. Pidge thought that with the amount of times he had complained about not having a way to charge his phone, he probably did see it that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Lance was singing when Pidge went to tell him about the meeting in the control room:
> 
> I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift cover by Boyce Avenue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO1dtLU7PTw (Lance wouldn't have changed the pronouns though)


	8. Bang Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a bit preoccupied. Lance feels a bit homesick again.

Keith was on the training deck already when Pidge, Lance, and Hunk walked in. They were all wearing the lightweight athletic clothing that was abundant in the castle. When asked, Allura had explained that the castle was filled with all manner of items the paladins might need on an extended voyage through space.

The Alteans had also planned ahead and made different size and shapes of clothing in the five trademark colors of the Paladins. Keith found it to be slightly disheartening but he was sure Pidge was more appreciative. As far as he knew none of the previous paladins had been women.

What she was wearing now made it very apparent that she was. The top to her workout gear was more of a long-sleeved tunic. Where the boy’s shirts were predominately black with colored details on the hems, Pidge’s gear had green mesh over the shoulders that gave the impression she was wearing a halter paired with long black gloves. She wore the same black leggings as the others but hers had green piping.

Keith’s appreciation of Pidge’s gear had an ulterior motive. He was avoiding looking at Lance. He had seen Lance in his workout attire before—they infrequently ran into each other as Keith was leaving the deck because Lance seemed to pick times to workout when he knew Keith would be leaving—but Keith hadn’t seen him in tight-fitting spandex (or alien equivalent) since his realization.

Sure Keith had known that Lance was attractive before, but now that he was aware of his own feelings his brain seemed unable to focus on anything else. Everything about Lance seemed to unleash a flood of unwanted thoughts into his mind.

Today was no different. The second he looked at Lance his mouth went dry. Where Pidge’s ensemble was cute and formfitting, Lance’s fit like a second skin. The outfit seemed to be made for him and Keith had to wonder if it was imbued with the same magic that made their paladin armor fit so perfectly.

There were blue lines cutting along the side of his ribs that further accentuated his trim waist and the jut of his hipbones. The stretchy material also showcased his wide shoulders and lean arms. Keith had to make a herculean effort to not let his eyes wonder below the waist as he swept his eyes up to Lance’s.

The other boy was staring at him. One eyebrow quirked in silent question and Keith was momentarily panicked until Lance shook his head and turned away. He turned to Hunk and said something that Keith couldn’t hear over the blood rushing in his ears.

Keith had been too busy ogling to notice what Lance was carrying so he was surprised when the perfect silence of the training deck—and really the castle in general—was interrupted by synthetic music blaring from a small speaker.

Lance had used one of the small Balmeran crystals that Shay’s family had gifted them to charge his phone and was now playing music. Keith didn’t recognize the song but the voice wasn’t entirely unfamiliar from the songs he heard on his little beat up radio on Earth.

“ _She got a body like an hourglass_  
_But I can give it to you all the time_  
_She got a booty like a Cadillac_  
_But I can send you into overdrive (oh)_ ”

Hunk and Lance were moving their heads to the beat where Pidge just raised an eyebrow at them. Keith just barely heard her whisper under her breath. “I knew I would regret that…”

But Lance smiled winningly at her and Keith couldn’t believe she was actually bothered.

She rolled her eyes and continued. “Is this another one of the songs your sisters’ like?”

Lance snorted. “Um yeah, but actually,” he chuckled softly and Pidge shot him a quizzical look. “Well Stel and Cely and I kinda made a music video cover to this song…” Lance scratched the back of his neck and chewed on his bottom lip, looking a bit embarrassed.

Keith tried to remain unnoticed but anyone that looked would have seen him freeze mid motion. He was trying very hard to return to his workout but Lance had obliterated his focus. This was really becoming a problem.

Hunk was the first to break the silence. “Which one were you?”

The question confused Keith but he saw Lance visibly relax out of the corner of his eye. “Nicki. Duh.”

“ _Bang bang there goes your heart (I know you want it)_  
_Back, back seat of my car (I’ll let you have it)_  
_Wait a minute let me take you there (ah)_  
_Wait a minute tell you (ah)_ ”

“Please tell me that video is stored on that horrible box you are using to torture me,” Pidge begged as she pointed to Lance’s phone.

Keith couldn’t tell exactly what the smile on Lance’s face meant, but it seemed like a mix of excitement, shyness, and apprehension. “Actually yes but we should really—“

Pidge cut him off with a wave. “Say no more. We’ll watch it later on my laptop. Something with this much potential requires a better venue.”

Keith was pretty sure she was seconds away from rubbing her hands together like a cartoon villain and the look on Lance’s face was becoming one of pure apprehension. Lance swept his eyes in Keith’s direction and he quickly turned away. He was too worried to look back and see if he had gotten away with it.

 _“B to the A to the N to the G to the uh_  
_B to the A to the N to the G to the hey_  
_See anybody could be good to you,_  
_You need a bad girl to blow your mind (your mind)_ ”

“Come on Hunk let’s knock this out.” Lance said.

Hunk must have nodded because Keith didn’t hear a reply.

“Pidgeotto, you joining us?” Lance asked.

Keith could imagine the exact unimpressed expression that went with Pidge’s reply. “Does that seem like something I would want to do?”

“Yeah yeah manita just figured I’d ask. Sheesh.”

Keith could hear the deep rumble of Hunk’s stifled laughter.

Keith didn’t realize so much time had passed until Shiro—followed closely by Coran—walked in to signal the beginning of their afternoon training. He had been too busy splitting his attention between not getting caught staring and doing a passable job of pretending to work out.

Pidge had seemed absorbed in her laptop, only looking up to make fun of Lance periodically. Lance and Hunk had been busy singing along to Lance’s phone and actually working out, which was the reason Keith had to try very hard not to stare. When Lance had started doing squats and bobbing slightly to the music, Keith thought he might actually die.

Shiro interrupting them to start training felt like both a blessing and a curse. On one hand it meant Lance would stop what he was doing and Keith could maybe breathe again, but it also meant that Lance would have to stop what he was doing which, at the moment, was bending over to touch his toes. Keith felt pretty proud of himself for not choking on his tongue when he greeted Shiro and Coran.

“Hey guys! Glad you are all here and ready to start!” Shiro began cheerily. He was always happiest when he didn’t have to play the disappointed Space-dad card.

“Pidge it looks like you could use a bit of a warm-up.” She met his 100-watt smile with a raised eyebrow but put her laptop away just the same. “Keith.”

Keith jerked himself out of his thoughts to blink at Shiro. He may have been replaying some of Lance’s better moves in his head. He tried to answer but had to cough to make his voice come out of his exceptionally dry throat. “Ehm yeah?”

The other paladins gave him a strange look, Lance especially seemed puzzled.

“Are you still good to work with her on hand to hand today?” Shiro asked. He looked slightly worried and Keith was suddenly very aware of how warm his face was. “You seem kind of off today everything alright?”

 _‘Oh you mean other than the epiphany that I want to bang one of the only 6 people that I interact with on a daily basis and it so happens that he is the one that most definitely hates my guts?’_ Keith thought. What he said was, “Yeah, yes sorry…just distracted is all…”

“Well snap out of it dude because, no offense, but if you hurt my precious baby sister I will have to kick your ass.” Lance said, shrugging.

Pidge elbowed him in the stomach on her way past. “Shut it Lancelot.” She mouthed something to him that looked a lot like ‘be nice’ but Keith wasn’t sure.

“Hey! Ow! I am being nice! I said ‘ _no offense_!’” Lance shouted indignantly.

Pidge rolled her eyes so hard it looked like it might hurt.

“No he’s right.” Keith looked between Lance and Pidge seriously. “I won’t let anything distract me while we train. I wouldn’t want to hurt you either.”

Lance seemed taken aback but Keith was trying to avoid his eyes now to keep his promise of not being distracted. Besides this was exactly what he needed, something to keep him from thinking about the blue paladin and his tantalizing spandex-clad ass.

“Alright,” Keith heard Shiro say as he and Pidge moved to one of the large training mats in one corner of the deck bringing their armor to pull on over the spandex. “Coran if you could please go up to the control room and pull up the shooting range simulation. I’ll stay down here and move between groups giving pointers.”

“No problemo,” Coran answered gleefully, shooting finger guns at Lance who beamed, obviously proud of his student in the art of being corny. Hunk and Lance moved to the other side where the shooting range would be set up, pulling on their armor as they went.

Keith heard the whoosh of the far end of the training deck restructuring and popping into place before he turned to Pidge and forcibly focused on the task at hand.

Focusing was harder than Keith expected. They had been going over techniques and practicing moves for nearly an hour. He was definitely seeing improvement in Pidge but they were both getting tired. He was glad to note that he wasn’t the only one that was getting distracted.

Lance had continued to play music throughout training. He and Hunk had started with target practice; first stationary and then moving targets. They had quickly moved on to more dynamic targets and were now surrounded by an invisible force field that took up more than half of the deck. Keith could only tell it was a force field because of how the beams from their guns bounced off thin air when they shot at the gladiator bots.

“Hey Keith you wanna take a breather?” Pidge asked, motioning to Lance and Hunk.

“Uh yeah.” Keith started to walk toward the barrier. “Oh hey, you’re doing good by the way. I’m really impressed.”

Pidge smiled beautifully. “Thanks Keith. That means a lot coming from you.”

That last statement confused Keith but he forgot almost immediately. He was too busy watching Lance. The outer wall of the training area was transparent but there were opaque shapes jutting out of the walls ceiling and floor to provide cover.

Lance and Hunk were in an area within the barrier that was mostly wide open. They were taking heavy fire from a bot on the other side that had found a good amount of cover on a ledge near the ceiling. Keith couldn’t hear what Lance was saying over the laser fire but suddenly there was a lull as the bot reloaded and Lance acted immediately.

He jumped out from behind the small protrusion they were taking cover behind, dragging Hunk behind him. “Now Hunk! Black Widow me!”

Keith was momentarily confused but then Hunk materialized his shield and pushed up just in time for Lance to take a running jump and use the shield to springboard himself into the air. He took advantage of a ridge in the ceiling that made a perfect handhold and aimed his gun; narrowly taking out the bot before it was done reloading.

Keith couldn’t contain his audible gasp at that move but Shiro had materialized beside him sometime during the action and whooped so loud Keith was pretty sure no one heard him.

“Nice one Lance!”

“Hey Hunk, buddy,” Lance started, still dangling from the ceiling, “You ready to be my Fezzik?”

Hunk looked momentarily puzzled but then snorted. “Hey lady!”

Lance cackled and dropped bridal-style into Hunk’s waiting arms.

“You’re such a pretty princess,” Hunk said as he put Lance down gently.

Pidge and Shiro were both laughing on either side of Keith but he was at a total loss and anxious about the gunmen’s carefree attitude. “Hey guys you still got two more bots by my count.” As the words left Keith’s mouth, the two remaining bots came into the large open space from either side.

Hunk and Lance looked at each other quickly. “You thinking what I’m thinking?” Lance asked.

Hunk nodded once. “Brangelina.”

Lance nodded back, grinning. “Brangelina.”

The two boys turned so they were back to back and fired at the two bots. Lance took his out almost immediately and turned to help Hunk who was having a harder time. He took the second bot out quickly and flirtily blew at the tip of his gun.

“Thanks sweetheart.” Hunk cooed.

Lance winked at him. “Who’s your daddy now?”

Keith didn’t notice the barricade had dissolved until Pidge was walking over to the two paladins and the obstacles were retreating into the normal flat surfaces of the deck.

Lance and Hunk were going over their moves excitedly.

“That was so cool when you—“

“—yeah but that thing you—“

“—no but when you hit it and it was all like ba-kush—“

“Hunk you are the best buddy!” Lance clapped Hunk on the shoulder.

“No way Lance! You’re the best!” Hunk pulled Lance into a bear hug.

“Oh my god you guys,” Pidge said, “you two really need to get a room.”

Lance smiled winningly at her. “No can do Pidgey. Hunk here,” he stroked Hunk face with one hand, “is waaaay too good for me.”

Hunk blushed and grinned at the attention. He opened his mouth, probably to reply, but Lance cut him off.

“Plus rocks are more his type.”

“Hey!” Hunk began.

“You and Shiro man. I mean seriously all the work I put in with Alien babes and both of you are going to beat me to the punch.” Lance was shaking his head dramatically oblivious to Shiro who had turned very very red.

Their fearless leader tried to clear his throat but he still sounded slightly pitchy when he spoke. “Ehem, now Lance, you looked good out there but you need to stop goofing off so much. Movie quotes aren’t going to keep you alive in a real fight…”

“Fiiine,” Lance breathed, still being dramatic.

“And Hunk you are doing much better with static targets but you still need some work. The enemy will not stand there waiting for you to shoot. I know your gun is a lot more unwieldy compared to Lance’s—“

“—hey do we have to keep talking about Hunk’s gun being bigger than mine?” Lance smirked as he interrupted Shiro, making him roll his eyes and Hunk blush. Pidge had her face in her hands and groaned.

Keith was inspired to let his eyes wander down Lance’s body, taking that as the permission it definitely wasn’t. Sadly he was still in his paladin armor, which meant a large portion of his body was obstructed from view.

Shiro had continued talking to Hunk. Pidge and Lance were back to bickering. Pidge seemed genuinely annoyed but Lance was smiling and teasing.

Maybe it was the happy look on his face, or maybe Keith was having some sort of aneurysm but before he knew what he was doing it, he walked right up to Lance and said. “You were amazing in there.”

Suddenly the training deck was very very quiet. Keith had never seen Lance speechless before. He watched a dozen expressions move across his face, most of which he couldn’t place. He watched Lance open and close his mouth a few times without any words coming out but then finally, “Uh… thanks Keith…I-I really appreciate that…”

~~~

 

Today had been…weird. Pidge was in the common area, laptop sitting all but forgotten in her lap. She had been trying to concentrate on tech upgrades for the green lion but she couldn’t stop thinking about the day’s event.

Keith had acted so strange during training. Even before that she had caught him staring off into space with a strange look on his face while he, Lance, and Hunk were working out. Then he had been so distracted during their sparring practice that Pidge had landed quite a few hits, and to top it all off he had complimented Lance…

After washing up they had met in the galley for what was quite possibly the most awkward dinner of Pidge’s life. Lance and Keith had been weird and polite to each other, which—granted—was what Pidge had asked Lance to do, but their forced interaction was nigh unbearable. Pidge just hoped things would eventually click between the two of them because the uneasiness was almost as distracting and detrimental to the team dynamic as their rivalry.

After dinner Keith and Lance hurried off in separate directions. Hunk had followed after Lance, and Pidge decided it was an ideal time to get some work done without any of the boys distracting her.

Instead of working in piece though, she was dissecting every interaction between Keith and Lance. When she tried to ask Lance about what happened between the two paladins when they were still at the Garrison he had asked her to leave it alone. Usually that request spurned her to do the exact opposite, but something about the way Lance said it gave her pause.

Now she wondered if maybe she should bypass Lance and go straight to Keith, ask him to shed light on things. His behavior towards the other paladin seemed to be getting weirder and something about those two was not adding up. She realized the easiest thing would probably be to talk to Hunk, and if that didn’t work she could always go to Keith after.

As if her thoughts materialized him, Hunk appeared, he peered through the doorway at her. “Hey Pidge. Have you seen Lance?”

Pidge suddenly felt cold dread. It wasn’t like Lance could get into much trouble on the ship—it had been quite some time since the castle-ship had tried to kill them—but something about Lance’s attitude had sat oddly with her and if Hunk wasn’t with him… “I thought he was with you.”

Hunk looked at her quizzically. “No… I mean I thought he was going to his room earlier when he left after dinner but he wasn’t there when I checked. I figured maybe he came and found you.”

Pidge looked down at her laptop. Dinner had been hours ago. It had been a long time since Keith had led them to Lance and his alien guitar and since then Lance had rarely felt the need to be alone. He had seemed less homesick and more willing to share stories about his family—mostly his sisters, but Pidge would be lying if she said she hadn’t been waiting for this to happen.

When she looked back up at Hunk she could tell he was thinking the same thing. His shoulders were slumped and his expression subdued.

“Come on,” she said, “let’s go find him.”

They checked the library first but he wasn’t there. It was disheartening because it probably reflected how serious Lance was about not wanting to be found.

They checked other rooms, ones found during recent explorations. Nothing.

Finally they found him. The room he had chosen was less isolated than they expected which is why they hadn’t checked it earlier. Either Lance had wanted to be found eventually, or he knew that it would be the last place they looked.

As they walked into the control room with its crystal clear glass and more than 180-degree view of space, they heard an unfamiliar voice.

It was tinny like a newscaster on an old radio or—or a voicemail recording on speakerphone…

As they approached Pidge noticed a few things in rapid succession.

At first glance she had thought that Lance was sitting casually on the floor ,but as she got closer and the glow from Lance’s cell phone and the Balmera crystal charger lit the immediate space around him, she realized he was in the fetal position with his legs held tight to his chest. He was turned away from them but she could see that he was shaking and suddenly she knew he was crying.

She couldn’t quite make out what the voice was saying but it was definitely a woman.

Hunk was the first one to break the silence. “Oh buddy…” he said sympathetically.

Lance turned his tear-streaked face to them and sniffed.

Pidge could hear her now, undeniably Lance’s mother:

_“…mi hijo, preciosa I know that you are busy at school but you can never be too busy for your mother, mi pájaro cantor…_

_“I hope you know how proud of you I am. Your father too. I know you are coming home soon but it feels too far away”_

Lance was breathing raggedly, trying to hold back tears. Pidge’s chest hurt. She could feel her own tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. It had almost been spring break when they had rescued Shiro. If nothing had happened that night Lance would have been home with his family in less than a month.

“… _are you bringing that boy home with you again? The sweet one that cooks? What’s his name? Hank? I like him…_ ” There was a pause.

“ _I wish you’d bring a girl home some day soon though.”_ Lance’s sharp intake of breath probably had to do with his mother’s tone, and Pidge remembered what he’d said about her reaction to him coming out ‘ _it’s not men she has a problem with…’_

  
_“te amo mi hijo. Come home soon mi amor.”_

Lance had hung his head low so that Pidge could no longer see his face. He held his phone far from him like distance could keep it from breaking his heart, but he gripped it like a lifeline anyway.

“Oh Lance.”

As silence filled the room Pidge looked at Hunk. He nodded. They seemed to always be on the same wavelength where it came to Lance.

Hunk sat down behind him on the floor and pulled Lance into his lap. Lance’s response was immediate. He melted against him. Pidge sat in front of them, leaning forward to hug Lance around his waist, and burying her head against his chest. He was still shaking but he was breathing normally now.

When he spoke his voice was croaky with disuse. “I just…wanted… to hear their voices…”

Pidge tightened her arms around him and felt Hunk pull them both closer. They stayed like that for a long time. Lance became so pliant that Pidge started to wonder if he had fallen asleep.

“Thank you guys,” he said finally.

Pidge didn’t know what to say. She had so many questions but didn’t know where to start.

“Do you have any from your sisters?” Hunk asked. Pidge looked up, amazed by that question. Lance was smiling, soft but sad.

“Yeah.” He hit a few buttons on his phone.

“ _¿Qué vuelta Lance? How is my favorite estrella de mar_?” the women laughed. She sounded too old to be in high school so Pidge guessed she must be Lance’s older sister Estella.

_“I can’t believe I missed seeing you! And for that dipshit asshole no less.” There was a child’s voice in the background and when Stel spoke again she sounded far away._

_“…tu tío…sí, Lance.. Dame un segundo. Sorry Lance. Sonja says hello. I gotta go but I just wanted to check up on you. The last time we talked you sounded real down…_ ” Lance was smiling but tears quietly slid down his face. He wiped them away with his free hand.

 _“You still hung up on that pretty boy?_ ” Lance stiffened a little at that. Pidge guessed he hadn’t remembered the content of the message but he didn’t move to stop it. There was no point. They all knew who the ‘pretty boy’ was.

“ _The one that’s good at everything? I feel like its my fault because I pushed you to go for it…but you know what? If he’s not into you then fuck ‘im…_

_“shit sorry—no Sonja that is a bad word…_

_“I know this was a big one and you were disappointed when he left so suddenly but it’s been a long time now. Its not healthy for you to still be moping..._

_“So here’s the deal hermanito when you get home in a few weeks we are going to do the broken heart cleanse just the two of us—Celly says she’ll babysit—we’ll pull out all the stops, gallon of ice cream, pizza, sad movies, we’ll burn some shit, I’ll sneak us some tequila—don’t tell mom—it will be great!_

_“Ah shit I really got to go now but I love you mi vida. Chin up k? ¡Chao pescao!”_

“Y a la vuelta picadillo…” Lance whispered.

It was obvious that Estella was talking about Keith. It made Pidge regret even entertaining the idea of talking to Keith about Lance. She was still unclear about what happened between them but whatever it was had caused Lance a lot of heartache.

She tightened her arms around him and pressed her face back into his chest. Her words came out in a mumble but Lance heard her anyway.

He laughed genuinely and patted her head. “I love you too hermanita.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. The holidays were busy and I will be working on costumes the next couple months so it may be a little while before the next update too.
> 
> Bang Bang by Ariana Grande, Jessie J, Nicki Minaj
> 
> Sorry I forgot to add the Spanish translations:
> 
> mi hijo, preciosa – my precious son  
> mi pájaro cantor – my songbird  
> te amo mi hijo – I love you my son  
> mi amor – my love  
> Qué vuelta – What’s up  
> estrella de mar – sea star  
> "…tu tío…sí, Lance.. Dame un segundo." – your Uncle…yes, Lance…Give me a second  
> hermanito – little brother
> 
> ¡Chao pescao! & Y a la vuelta picadillo – Cuban expression similar to “see you later alligator!” and “after a while crocodile!” It literally means, “goodbye, fish!” and “next time, minced meat!” It comes from the way that the first 15 days’ ration card of the month gives you fish, and the next time it gives you meat.


	9. Hello my Old Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Garrison trio is exhausted after staying up last night with Lance and it leads to problems on the training deck. Thankfully Keith is looking out for Lance too. Keith and Lance get a little alone time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Carnival and Mardi Gras was amazing! All my costumes came out wonderful and it was good to see all my NOLA friends again. That place is pure magic if you ever get a chance to go down there.
> 
> Also I forgot to put the Spanish translations in the notes of the last chapter so I updated it. Next chapter team Voltron will go down to the planet and hopefully the pacing will speed up a bit. For those of you that mentioned it in your comments fair warning there is one more big Lance angst episode in the next chapter (I only hurt the ones I love =/). Its actually one of the first scenes I wrote and sort of where the plot from this story came from so I am excited.
> 
> Hopefully updates will be a little more frequent through to the end. Please enjoy and thank you everyone for your encouragement!

The previous day had been weird, and Lance’s breakdown had been heartbreaking but the following morning had been weirder.

Training was in the morning as they were expecting to reach the planet in the evening. The paladins were all anxious to get off the ship but Shiro had informed them that they wouldn’t be going down to the surface until the following day. This was partially because the planet had a similar light dark schedule to the synthetic schedule of the castle, and part in an effort to get some initial readings and renderings from the planet before making any moves. Still, Shiro wanted them prepared for anything that might happen, which meant morning training so they wouldn’t let their guard down after reaching orbit.

Coran and Allura had explained that they would use one of the planets moons and its natural magnetism to prevent anything on the planet’s surface from tracing their location. Pidge wanted to ask how they could expect to get readings of the planet if they were hiding behind a rock that would disrupt systems on the ground but the look Shiro shot her meant that there were more important things to discuss so she filed that away for later.

They got to work.

After a quick workout, where Shiro made them run suicides and Pidge was pretty adamant she would never forgive him, they revisited one of their teambuilding activities from early on.

Pidge, Hunk, and Lance were all pretty sluggish, after staying up so late talking. Lance was obviously putting on a brave face but Pidge and Hunk had been maintaining most of the conversation all morning. Pidge had tried to goad the other boy into conversation but his answers were short or nonverbal.

When the rest of the team had arrived to the galley to grab a quick breakfast earlier in the morning Lance seemed to put a little more effort into the charade. Pidge was bemoaning the things she had left behind in her dorm.

“Yeah. I wish we had left the garrison during the day because then I would have had my back pack.” Lance said earning a look from the other two paladins. It was the most he’d said all morning

“Yeah but then we’d be in our cadet uniforms.” Hunk made a face thinking about the restricting garments.

Pidge and Lance both cringed. “Good point,” Lance conceded. “That orange really did nothing for me.”

Shiro and Keith had walked in during their conversation and Keith picked up on the train of thought. “I kind of thought you pulled it off.” Keith said, looking directly at Lance.

All three of the friends gaped at Keith. Shiro simply raised an eyebrow. Keith belatedly noticed all of the attention he was receiving and floundered. “I mean you and Hunk…because you’re skin is darker…so the orange didn’t look so bad…”

Pidge recovered quickly and took pity on the blushing boy. She was still shocked but she was more worried that Keith’s awkward backpedaling would worsen Lance’s mood and cause another fight. She didn’t want Keith to undo all of the good work he and Lance had put in.

“Hey Shiro?”

The older man looked at her expectantly and Keith shot her a thankful look.

“What’s the plan for training today?”

“Good question Pidge! Now that we are working better together as a team I thought we could revisit an activity we all had a hard time with.”

Pidge had a suspicion she knew where this was going but Hunk spoke up first looking guilty.

“Is this the drone one again?”

Shiro smiled and nodded, accompanied by a chorus of groans. They had not attempted what Pidge had affectionately referred to as the circle-o-death since the first time. Partly because they had all sucked at it, due mostly to their lack of synchronicity as a team, but also because the fall from the deck was both painful and demoralizing.

Shiro was quick to explain that he and Coran had fashioned thicker crash pads and that this time he was confident the team would not even need them.

Pidge looked to Lance, he was still being uncharacteristically quiet. She wanted to tell Shiro that maybe today wasn’t the best day for this. They were all tired from last night, but she couldn’t say anything without drawing attention to Lance and she knew he wasn’t willing to share with Shiro and Keith.

She ran a hand down her face. Today was going to be a long day she thought, but what she said was. “Fine.”

An hour later they were on the training deck. Since they knew a little more about the drill this time around they were all feeling cautiously optimistic. They stood in a tighter circle than they had the first time, enough space to move in but not so far out that they couldn’t reach the teammate beside them.

Pidge and Hunk flanked Lance in an unspoken agreement to protect him. Shiro stood beside Pidge and Keith beside Hunk. Lance was twitchy but quiet. He kept glancing over his shoulder at Keith. Pidge figured he was still thrown by the boy’s earlier comment.

“Ready everyone?” Shiro shouted. They all tensed. “Begin!”

The simulation started and all the drones flew out and began firing on them. After 5 minutes they were all still standing. Coran called out to warn them as he increased the intensity

Pidge could tell Lance was getting tired. She was exhausted and she had managed to get some sleep. She was positive Lance hadn’t. Hunk was slowing down too. The larger paladin had bent to his right to block Keith just as a drone shot between him and Lance. Lance was too slow and the droid exploited the gap. Hunk fell through the floor with a shout.

Pidge watched Lance visibly shake himself as the rest of them pulled in tighter. Coran yelled something at them, probably telling Lance to pay attention but Pidge was too busy blocking to listen and the buzz of electricity from her shield drowned it out.

“Hey Lance? You keeping up over there?” Pidge was surprised to hear Keith over the din.

She caught him shooting a worried look at Lance’s profile. Lance didn’t seem to notice.

“’m fine mullet. Just tired.” Lance’s voice was low and lacked his usual snark. Pidge narrowly deflected a beam that was aimed right for him. She was starting to think that the bots were sensing a weak link.

Suddenly all the bots were targeting Lance. One beam hit his shield so hard he was pushed back a step and he dematerialized it in his surprise. The bots fired again but just before it tagged Lance Keith was in front of him. Pidge watched in amazement as Keith spun, facing Lance and throwing him to the ground with his shield thrown over his back to protect them while he covered Lance with his body.

Shiro followed, crouching beside him and facing the bots. Pidge mirrored his movements so that all three shields faced the droids. Quickly the bots began to fan out but Coran called out the end sequence and the three of them released their shields.

“Not bad paladins. 9 minutes before certain death.”

They were all panting as they tried to catch their breath. Keith was still crouching over Lance and Pidge was suddenly worried about Lance having another violent reaction.

Maybe he was too tired, or maybe all the things they had talked about had stuck because he just lay there looking up at the red paladin with a slight blush on his cheeks.

When Keith could speak he asked. “Are you alright?”

Lance took the proffered arm and let Keith pull him to his feet. Lance shook off the dazed expression and smirked at him though Pidge could tell it required a lot of effort. “Wow Keith, didn’t know you cared.”

Keith stared back. “Of course I care.”

~~~

Keith’s body was out to get him. His mouth had decided to strike out on its own and damn the consequences. All morning it had been forming words before his brain had even made the conscious decision to open it and now he had told Lance, ‘ _of course I care_.’

And it wasn’t even that his mouth had said those words, as it was that he had said it with such finality and force that it seemed to hang in the air between them like a physical thing.

He didn’t add that he cared because they were teammates or because he was a decent person and no matter how obnoxious Lance was he didn’t deserve to be knocked out, because neither of those things felt as honest as what he had just said. He felt that tightening in his chest again. It distracted him from noticing Lance staring at him dumbfounded, pink tingeing his cheeks.

He looked anywhere but Lance’s face. Shiro would speak up soon; either to continue with training or dismiss them. Keith didn’t really have a preference as long as it meant ending this strange tension between him and Lance.

Shiro did eventually save him. Good old dependable Shiro. He split them back into groups and assessed their day’s performances and then sent them off to enjoy their free time.

They reached the planet’s atmosphere shortly after training but they would stay in rotation until the morning—or what the castle program considered morning—and collect data.

Dinner had been rowdy compared to training. The Garrison trio was in rare form. Lance was especially boisterous and acting ridiculous to keep Hunk and Pidge in stitches. Keith watched Shiro and Allura try to smother their smiles, not wanting to encourage their dramatic paladin. Coran, on the other hand, was egging Lance on.

Keith couldn’t tell if it was the earlier awkwardness or the current distraction that kept Lance from meeting his eyes, and there was the ever-present possibility that Keith was just imaging things.

It wasn’t until later, after they had all slowly gravitated away to do their own things, that Keith became curious about the planet they were orbiting.

He quietly made his way to the observation deck. He figured he’d enjoy the view while he obsessed over everything he’d done in the last few days and…Lance.

He was just rounding the corner when he heard it, the quiet wistful sounds he’d become used to since Lance had discovered that small library. The other boy kept his music upbeat when he played for the others, but Keith was starting to suspect that he wasn’t as self-assured and relentlessly cheerful as he wanted to appear.

_“Hello my old heart_  
 _How have you been_  
 _Are you still there inside my chest?_  
 _I've been so worried_  
 _You've been so still_  
 _Barely beating at all_ ”

It was this suspicion that actually made Keith like him more. Sure, when Lance wasn’t purposely instigating a fight or rubbing him the wrong way, he actually found his absurd attitude kind of funny. On the other hand, until recently he had honestly believed that Lance couldn’t take anything seriously and he found that attitude exhausting.

_“Oh, don't leave me here alone_   
_Don't tell me that we've grown_   
_For having loved a little while_   
_Oh, I don't want to be alone_   
_I want to find a home_   
_And I want to share it with you”_

It wasn’t that he wanted Lance to be upset, but it was nice to see a serious, thoughtful side to him.

When he got to the doorway he peered in. Lance was sitting cross-legged on the floor staring out at the planet.

_“Hello my old heart_   
_It's been so long_   
_Since I've given you away_   
_And every day I add another stone_   
_To the walls I built around you_   
_To keep you safe”_

Keith watched him quietly. He realized he’d been doing this a lot lately and he felt a pang of guilt. He knew Lance would never allow him to witness this, he even seemed reticent to show this side of him to the others, but Keith couldn’t help himself. He wanted more than anything to just be close to Lance and that thought took him slightly off guard.

_“Oh, don't leave me here alone_   
_Don't tell me that we've grown_   
_For having loved a little while_   
_Oh, I don't want to be alone_   
_I want to find a home_   
_And I want to share it with you”_

Keith hadn’t realized how strong his feelings for the blue paladin had grown but standing there, watching the set of his shoulders and the sway of his body as he sang, Keith realized it was true. He was falling hard for this boy.

_“Hello my old heart_   
_How have you been?_   
_How is it, being locked away?_   
_Well don't you worry_   
_In there, you're safe_   
_And it's true, you'll never beat_   
_But you'll never break”_

Keith was leaning against the doorframe now. He was sure he looked pathetically lovesick, wistfully staring at the other boy as he played, oblivious of his audience, glowing with the pinkish light of the planet’s atmosphere.

“ _Nothing lasts forever_  
 _Some things aren't meant to be_  
 _But you'll never find the answer_  
 _Until you set your old heart free”_

As the verse closed and Lance began to sing the sweet ‘ _badum buh_ ’ sounds that echoed off the walls like heartbeats, Keith thought it was sort of funny. These songs that Lance picked to sing quietly to himself in a darkened room—and unknowingly to Keith—spoke quite a bit to Keith’s own thoughts. It was almost as if Lance too was pining for someone he couldn’t have.

Jealousy burned in him suddenly, red-hot, but he breathed his way through it. He had no claim on Lance and no right to hate whatever girl had caught Lance’s eye. He knew now that it wasn’t Pidge and as much as Lance shamelessly flirted with her, he was pretty sure it wasn’t Allura either. So someone from Earth then, the Garrison even.

Someone Lance had left behind, and now Keith was jealous for an entirely new reason. Lance had obviously had everything back on their home planet. A family that loved him and cared for him, and a person that meant everything to him.

Keith knew he shouldn’t think that way. Lance may have had everything once but it just meant he had been forced to give up more. Keith knew he should count himself lucky, he’d been on his own a long time now. He barely remembered his mother and other than Shiro he’d barely had anyone in his life that he cared about.

He’d had nothing before Voltron. He could be jealous of Lance’s perfect childhood or he could remember how lucky he was to have Shiro back and a real purpose in life.

Still a small terrible part of him was glad the Lance had been separated from whatever girl inspired his late-night heart-wrenching melodies. If he thought on it more he knew that he truly cared for the other pilot and would want him to be happy even if it meant with someone else, but being bitter felt so much more satisfying at the moment.

He had been too caught up in his thoughts to notice that Lance had stopped playing. He finally looked at the glass and saw Lance staring at him in the reflection. The other boy raised one eyebrow and Keith felt himself flush.

The expression on Lance’s face was difficult to read and Keith was probably reading into what it meant, but he seemed like he wanted to say something more than what he settled on.

He finally quirked an eyebrow. “Stalker much?”

Keith scrambled to stutter out an apology. “I—sorry. I just wanted to look, you know at the planet, not at you!” Keith’s face felt like it was on fire and if he wasn’t as red as well, Red, he’d be surprised. He usually didn’t get this flustered and he rarely babbled when confronted but as he had just recently been pondering he was gone on this beautiful boy and this was the shiny unattainable version he felt especially drawn to.

Lance’s eyebrow shot up. It seemed like he was equally unpracticed with a talkative Keith. They both knew that babbling was really more of his thing, at least it normally was. He was still looking at Keith through the reflection in the glass. “Woah mullet calm down.”

Keith frowned, rolling his eyes. He was still embarrassed but as usual that nickname managed to rub him the wrong way. “You could try calling me Keith if you can’t come up with something more original.”

Lance chuckled. “I mean I like ‘samurai’ and there are some great sword puns there but it seems racially insensitive since you’re Korean and all.”

Keith snorted, he was glad that Lance was distracted from reprimanding him about skulking. “Korean-Texan technically.”

It was Lance’s turn to snort. “Yah think you know a person,” he teased. “Also don’t think we’re not going to talk about your habit of showing up during my precious ‘me’ time.”

Keith burned with embarrassment. “Sorry. I’ll just—“ He turned, hoping to make a hasty exit.

“—No!” Lance cut him off sort of forcefully. He looked momentarily embarrassed at his own outburst. “I mean…you wanted to look at the planet right? Come sit.” He moved one hand from where it was still resting on his guitar to pat the spot next to him.

Keith didn’t move at first, just stared at the back of his head, forgetting that Lance could still see him in the reflection.

Lance continued. “I mean if you want. Doesn’t matter to me or anything…”

Keith realized suddenly that he didn’t want to miss his chance. Serious or not, Lance was inviting him to spend time with him, and he was not going to give that up for anything.

He lowered himself awkwardly into the spot on Lance’s right where he had indicated.

Lance gave Keith one of those confident, winning smiles that he had come to expect from him and Keith melted. He hoped it wasn’t obvious to the other boy but it was difficult to worry when confronted with that high-watt grin.

Lance was picking idly at his guitar like he sometimes did. The sounds were sharper than strumming.

“It’s Spanish guitar right?” Keith asked. He’d been meaning to ask for a while but had always been worried his interest would be rebuked.

Lance looked at him with a dazed expression, his fingers never stopping. His eyes had been fixed ahead, gazing at the planet, but he looked at Keith now. “Uh. I mean yeah. It’s technically just fingerpicking but its common in classic Spanish Guitar or Flamenco. My Uncle taught me and Gabriel—my older brother.”

Keith knodded.”What’s it like? Having a big family?” He regretted the question almost the second it left his mouth because he knew how homesick Lance was.

Lance smiled though. “Loud, mostly. I mean you’re never really alone…not like here.” He ducked his head frowning slightly, still playing soft notes.

Keith didn’t know what to say to that. No matter the amount of progress they had made, he knew Lance wouldn’t respond well to comfort from him and besides, it wasn’t something he was good at. Shiro was the person closest to him and the comforting in their relationship really only went one way.

In what Keith thought was an uncharacteristic show of self-consciousness, Lance said, “I can stop playing if it bothers you.”

Keith blinked at him, surprised, but the other boy wouldn’t meet his eyes. His hands stilled on the guitar, covering the strings to dampen them.

“Of course not. I love—to listen.. to you play…” he finished awkwardly.

Lance seemed to search his face and Keith could feel his cheeks warming again. They were too close and everything was so quite. Keith could almost pretend this was a dream and he was worried he might try to reach out and touch Lance.

“Hey,” Lance breathed and Keith was sure that he was imaging the huskiness of his voice and the slight dilation of his pupils. Lance cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick to you. I’m trying to be better.”

He looked away and Keith couldn’t decide if he was more disappointed or relieved.

“It’s not just you. I haven’t exactly made things easy either. I know I am not the easiest person to deal with.”

They sat quietly after that. Lance plucking at his guitar and both of them staring out into the unknown. Keith’s brain felt comfortably fuzzy, and he felt more at ease than he had in—well—he couldn’t remember.

As if the universe was out to destroy his peace of mind, Lance picked that particular time to excuse himself for the night.

Keith thought he was finally alone but then he heard Lance speak. He watched him in the reflection as the other boy turned. “Hey Keith.”

Keith hummed, not able to find words when looking at Lance’s open, vulnerable expression.

“I’m glad things are…better…between us… I’m glad you’re here.”

Before Keith could react Lance whirled around and disappeared down the hall. Keith felt warm and content, his heart beating quickly in his chest but then he remembered that things with Lance would never be more than this and he felt sadness overtake him. He looked out at the planet sighed before returning to his room for a fitful night of sleep.


	10. No Music, Just Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally! The team gets to leave the ship for a short excursion and Keith and Lance have a bonding moment. Read on to see if Keith cradles Lance in his arms ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to stop pretending that I'm going to keep to a timeline on this but I am hoping to wrap this up in a few more chapters. It has gotten so long! Sorry for the wait but I hope nearly 4000 words (none of which are lyrics this time) makes up for it.

The galley was abuzz with activity. Pidge had possibly underestimated how stir-crazy the rest of the team was.

She looked around the room. Lance looked well rested—finally. They’d all taken naps yesterday before dinner and Lance had seemed more cheerful, but this morning he was excited. Lance loved exploring planets. Pidge assumed it had a lot to do with his obsession with vintage Sci-Fi. He’d been running around all morning talking about the ‘prime directive.’ Pidge thought, not for the first time, how much Lance would have gotten along with Matt—would get along, as soon as they found him.

Looking at his face, she could tell why Hunk was excited. Every planetary exploration meant new ingredients and cuisines. The wheels in his head were obviously turning, concocting new possibilities, hoping for an approximation of something he’d been craving

Shiro and Allura seemed split between trying to corral the younger team members—as well as Coran—and catching their excitement as if it were a cold.

Coran, as usual, was riling Lance up with his absurd energy.

It suddenly struck Pidge that someone was missing. As if the thought had materialized him, Keith walked into the room with bleary eyes stifling a yawn.

Shiro looked up surprised. “Keith?”

Keith cracked his neck and shoulders trudging over to the goo dispenser. He turned to Shiro slowly when he heard his name. “Hmm?”

“I figured you were up in the training room already,” Shiro continued. He looked incredulous. “Did you…sleep in?”

Keith shot him an un-amused look. “Yes Shiro, people do that sometimes,” he said, punctuated by an eye roll. He turned back to the goo machine.

Pidge snickered. Shiro was obviously being histrionic and the look on his face spoke of serious betrayal. “Yeah except for you! It’s like my whole life is a lie.” It was easy to forget than Shiro wasn’t that much older than the rest of them, except for moments like this. Keith seemed to bring out the best in him—or the worst if you asked Shiro.

The Alteans quirked their eyebrows at the two of them. Hunk and Lance were snickering at the exchange and Pidge was outright laughing now. They all knew how Keith was. He was never the last to breakfast, that was more of Lance’s MO.

Shiro had known Keith longer than any of them and it was obvious from his reaction that the red paladin had always been disciplined.

Keith flipped him off and proceeded to shovel goo into his mouth. Shiro mock-gasped. “Little brother, you wound me.”

Things continued like that until they met to discuss the data they acquired and their mission plan. Allura was all business. It seemed that Pidge had been correct that gathering detailed intel would be difficult in the shadow of the planet’s moon. She would file that away to be smug about later.

The new plan was simple. They had been able to tell from orbit that the planet was only partially inhabited, what they needed was to gather more specific atmospheric data and they had a decent idea of where the best place to acquire that data was.

They would land, gather what they needed, and scout the area. Once completed they would plan a second mission to investigate the natives.

Because this was a stealth mission, they would only bring some of the lions, and since the green and red lions were the smallest and fastest, the team would be taking them to the planetary surface. Allura and Coran would stay with the castle and the remaining lions, continuing to hide in orbit.

With the plan in place they geared up and headed out. Keith and Shiro took Red and Lance and Hunk squeezed into the green lion with Pidge.

It was a quick ride down, Lance and Hunk chatted the whole way, the seriousness of the situation abandoning them from the moment they were out of the authoritative gaze of Allura and Shiro.

Pidge couldn’t help but smile. When she’d first met them she had been annoyed, they were both a distraction and a means to an end. She spent the bare minimum of time with them to keep her cover and she regretted that now. They had seemed ridiculous to her back then. A ship mechanic who wanted his feet planted firmly on the ground and a cocky pilot who needed so badly to be memorable that he constantly wrecked the simulators.

Lance had been a class clown and a grade-A flirt. She’d thought he was an idiot, but now she understood he had a lot of insecurities that he tried very hard not to show. He didn’t want to be a burden on others but he needed a lot of affirmation.

Pidge would have never guessed back then. She was happy though, to know this more authentic version of Lance. He was like a brother to her and she could never thank him enough for all he’d done. He was her rock when she needed him and she would be damned if she couldn’t be his.

She noticed out of her peripherals that Red had pulled up along side them and her thoughts were dragged back to the odd way that Keith had been acting around Lance.

She wanted to ask Lance what had happened between them at the Garrison, but then she would remember the look on his face when he had told her to leave it alone. And besides, the two boys were getting along now, and more than that even, they were almost becoming friends.

“Piiiidge.”

She shook herself from her thoughts. The way Lance said her name it was obvious she’d missed it the first couple of times.

“Yes?” she smiled innocently over her shoulder.

“If you could _not_ zone out while driving us in the giant space kitten that would be grrr-eat.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Terra and I have an understanding. She switches to autopilot in situations of near-death or attention-deficit.” She grinned at her own joke.

It was Lance’s turn to roll his eyes. “Anywayyyy,” he began, “Hunk and I were guessing what the planet is going to be like.”

He looked to Hunk who nodded encouragingly. “I mean the atmosphere is pink right? So we figure it must be different than...” He trailed off and Pidge understood. Sometimes it was hard for all of them to say it…' _Earth.'_  She’d even named her lion _Terra_ , Latin for her home planet, and sometimes she choked on saying it when she was especially homesick.

Lance had continued talking while she was lost in her thoughts. Hunk was watching him with rapt attention, nodding and smiling.

“…it would be cool if it were breathable but if not we got the suits, which I know we all obsess over the technology for the giant space robot cats…But come on! A suit that looks this svelte,” he wiggled his eyebrows and grazed his fingers down is waist dramatically, “and doesn’t require any tanks? I mean we don’t even switch out any of the filters! I don’t even know if there are filters!”

Pidge considered that. She and Hunk had tried to tinker with the suits just like everything else, just to see how they worked but, “Allura shot us down on messing with them—you know because they’re life-supporting and all.”

Hunk nodded sagely. “Yeah. I mean she probably has a point on that one.” All three of them nodded. “You think the plant life will be really different?”

Pidge thought about it. “Dunno. Some of the planets have had similar foliage,” she didn’t need to say ‘to what’ they all knew. Home was always their default comparison. “And others really _really_ haven’t.” They shared a collective shudder. They’d visited one planet early on where all of the plants in the area had exuded a foul smelling ooze. The whole team had experienced difficulty eating the space goo that evening. Even Coran had seemed rather affected.

“Just as long as there’s no flaming lava rock rain, I think we’ll be okay,” Lance said. They all remembered Coran’s vivid description of a ‘ _beautiful summer storm_ ’ that had nearly killed him and his companions. The strange man remembered it fondly, but even Allura raised her elegant eyebrow at him during the retelling.

In another fifteen minutes they touched down. Red first, with Keith and Shiro, followed by Terra and her ‘crew’ directly beside the other lion.

All the paladins filed out.

“Allura, we’ve reached the planetary surface,” said Shiro. “Keith, Lance you two are on guard duty with me. Pidge, Hunk get started on the data. Atmospheric first.”

They all nodded in turn. Pidge brought up her gauntlet screen. Flicking through the first few options she landed on the atmospheric read out. She tapped in a few sequences of code. “Allura, Coran, I am uploading the data from the suits to the castle mainframe. The castle computer can analyze the chemistry a lot faster. You reading?”

“Yes Number 5. It’s on our screens now. Hmmmm.”

Pidge could imagine the way he was probably tugging on his mustache.

“According to the initial readings it seems that the air is likely breathable—But!” he practically shouted over the comms making the paladins wince, “we should gather a little more data before we make any guarantees!”

Pidge looked at the readings on her gauntlet. The oxygen levels were incredibly high compared to Earth, and the castle ship, and—presumably—Altea, but the atmospheric pressure was low meaning it was breathable. As long as the analyzer didn’t detect any harmful gases they would be safe. They would wait a few more minutes before removing their helmets. Then they would take soil and water samples, and finally they would gather plant life to determine if any of it was palatable.

Pidge looked at the others. Hunk was excited, as usual, he was a mechanic in practice, but his heart was in gastronomy, which meant that he’d become a bit of an environmental scientist over his time in space.

They used to rotate jobs so that everyone got a chance to play scientist and guard but they had all agreed that this was the best way.

Pidge remembered one time in particular where Lance and Keith had been the ones to analyze the samples. They had quickly become impatient and irritated and ended up shouting at each other so loudly that they attracted the locals.

After a brief but terrifying chase the Gotoreeins turned out to be incredibly friendly and the rest of the team laughed about how they referred to Keith and Lance as the ‘passionate lovers.’ They had taken one look at the two of them and assumed their shouting match had been a lover’s spat. It had led to all sorts of awkward conversations for them—though it was hilarious to Pidge and Hunk. Even Shiro had a hard time keeping a straight face all night during the feast the Gotoreeins and put on in their honor.

After that they had all agreed on the current division of labor. Besides, Pidge was well aware that she and Hunk were the biggest nerds and Shiro, Keith, and Lance preferred lookout.

The results for the atmosphere came in just as they moved to soil samples. The data paged out to all the gauntlets so Lance was the first to pull it up. “Yesssss,” he whooped. He quickly tapped the camouflaged side panel that dematerialized the mouthpiece on his helmet. He moved to take his helmet off but Shiro was quicker.

“Lance.”

The way Shiro could put so much disapproval into that one syllable was impressive.

Lance had been through this enough to look guilty. Pidge tapped her mouthpiece off.

“Come oooon Shiro. Just for a minute?” Lance whined. He’d been caught halfway through removing his helmet. It was a common occurrence any time they landed on a planet.

This time Keith beat Shiro to the lecture. “You can’t take your helmet off while we’re on guard. You need to be ready for an attack.”

Lance glared at the other boy pouting. “Come on this area is uninhabited and I was just going to take it off for a minute. I hate having helmet hair,” he whined.

Keith rolled his eyes. “Your hair always looks good. You’ll run your fingers through it when we get back in the lions and it will be perfectly mussed once again.” He turned so that his back was to the group, surveying the landscape, so he didn’t notice the rest of them staring at him.

Lance’s mouth was gaping open as he stared at Keith’s back. Pidge had to give props to the red paladin. He was one of the select few in the universe that could render Lance speechless.

Pidge shook her head, turning back to her work. She wasn’t sure if those two could get any weirder.

~~~

Keith could feel the other paladins’ eyes boring into his back. He shot Shiro a sidelong glance and stiffened at the knowing smirk and raised eyebrow. He narrowed his eyes before staring straight ahead. ‘ _Stupid_ ,’ he thought.

The others were going to catch on if he didn’t learn to control himself, and worst of all, Lance would find out. He had seen many places in the universe and he wasn’t sure if there was a galaxy in which that would go over well.

The rest of the mission went as planned. They had to travel farther than they had expected to get to a water source. Walking so far from the lions had made Shiro nervous but Coran and Allura were watching from just outside the atmosphere. Besides, Lance’s excitement had been infectious.

Keith was envious of Shiro’s ability to deny Lance anything, even if he eventually gave in to most things. Keith was pretty sure if he was in charge he would have no choice but to give Lance everything he ever wanted.

They walked a few miles with Lance leading and him and Shiro flanking their back. They could still see the lions in the distance as they approached a copse of trees. The foliage on this planet was made of differing shades of blue. To Keith it was both strange and beautiful.

Another mile of walking into the alien forest and Keith could tell Shiro was getting antsy. Before he could order them to turn back they stepped out into a clearing.

They were on the bank of a lake and before them was a high wall with numerous waterfalls of pink water. Looking at their faces, Keith could tell that the other paladins were amazed, but Lance—Lance had a look of wonder on his face that rivaled the rest.

When they recovered from their awe they continued their sample gathering. Keith was glad they had not discovered any hostile aliens, as Lance had all but given up pretending to guard. He was too enamored with the landscape and distracted by daydreams to be of much use.

“I would give anything to go for a swim,” Lance murmured.

“There’s a pool in the castle Lance,” Hunk reminded him.

“But it’s not the same,” Lance spoke dreamily, “A pool isn’t alive!” He spoke with so much excitement, moving his hands to illustrate his point. There was a light in his eyes that Keith had connected with fond memories of home and the excitement of the unexplored. “I mean it’s got nothing on the ocean,” Lance continued, “but its still beautiful and its freaking pink!”

Hunk looked up from his work to shrug over at Lance. “You got me there.”

Shiro interrupted them then. “If you two are done collecting samples we should get back to the lions. And Hunk—no trying the samples until they have been tested.”

Hunk looked up guiltily from his handful of green berries. “I was just going to sniff them.”

It took them less time to get out of the forest than it had going in. They may have been weighted down with samples, but they weren’t bending to inspect the ground every few feet or so. They were within view of the lions once again when the sky suddenly darkened. Clouds had congregated quickly and electricity crackled in the air. A roar similar to the sounds the lions made but undeniably thunder sang through the air.

Shiro jumped into action immediately. “Get back to the lions. Now. We don’t know enough about the planet to know if this storm poses a danger to us.”

Keith could feel it, the temperature drop and the increase in humidity. The others sprang into action quickly, taking off towards Red and Terra, but Lance hadn’t moved. It was like he hadn’t even heard Shiro. He was staring up at the sky.

Small droplets of moisture dotted the landscape between him and the other boy. As he walked toward him it began to rain in earnest and Keith watched Lance take off his gloves, raising his hands, palm up. As Keith approached, Lance removed his helmet, running a hand through his hair and tilting his head up to the darkening sky.

He walked over slowly, feeling an inextricable draw towards the other paladin but not wanting to break the peaceful stillness. Keith took a moment to appreciate the lines of the other boy’s back.

He was tall, a few inches taller than Keith, with long legs and narrow hips. The layers he usually wore gave the impression that he was skinny but his flight suit brought out his broad shoulders and lean muscled arms. His legs were slim but muscular too. Lance often talked about the beachside town he grew up in. Keith knew now he must have been a swimmer, maybe even a surfer.

Keith took his helmet off too enjoying the feel of the cool water. “Feels good.”

Lance hummed his agreement. “Just glad its not molten rock raining down from the sky.”

Keith raised an eyebrow, alarmed, but Lance wasn’t looking at him. “Wha?”

Lance chuckled. “Just something Coran said.”

They were quiet for a moment, both enjoying the sensation. Keith could hear the others in the distance but they didn’t move toward them. They had taken cover under the lions and it seemed that Shiro must have realized that the danger of the situation was minimal. Still, he was likely on guard, watching over them so they could have this moment.

Lance’s lips were just slightly parted. Keith wanted to make a comment about drowning and turkeys but he found that his throat felt thick and tight.

Finally he said, “It almost smells like home.” He meant Earth. Keith didn’t know what Varaderjo beached smelled like in the rain and the desert around his shack just smelt like dust and clay after a storm. This smelled like life—like cut grass and mulch.

Lance said, “yeah” but it sounded funny to Keith’s ears. He took a few steps closer to Lance so that he could see the side of his face and what he saw made him stop short. He knew Lance could see him out of the corner of his eyes but he didn’t turn to Keith.

They were both soaked—the flight suits were water resistant but not waterproof to keep them breathable—but it wasn’t just rain that was trickling down Lance’s cheeks. Keith realized with a start that Lance was crying.

“Lance. Are you—”?

Lance laughed but it was dull and forced to Keith’s ears. “—I’m fine.”

Keith was putting a hand on Lance’s shoulder before he even realized he was doing it. “Hey look at me.”

Lance scrubbed at his face, not meeting Keith’s eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong,” Keith urged trying to bend down to put his eyes level with Lance’s downcast gaze.

“I just…” He groaned in frustration. Running a hand roughly through his hair and breaking away from Keith to turn his back on him again. “I just…” His voice broke and Keith could feel his heart constricting in his chest. “…I miss them.”

Keith was prepared with a speech about how what they were doing was important and they would all be able to go home and see their families as soon as all this was over. He thought he probably was sounding a little too much like Shiro, but Lance cut him off with a sound that was half anger half wounded animal.

“You don’t get it Keith!” There wasn’t a lot of time for that to sink in before Lance continued. “The twins are 5 years old! They’re scared of the dark! They slept in my bed every night there was a thunderstorm until I left for the Garrison!”

Images of a soft looking Lance cuddled up asleep with children that shared his features came unbidden to Keith’s mind. It made his heart hurt but Lance was still talking.

“They’re 5 Keith! 5!” he wrapped his arms around himself, sniffling as tears poured down his face again. “They get so big so fast! And I’m going to miss it! All of it! And…and…” He worried at his lower lip and made another ugly desperate noise. “What if they don’t remember me? What if I never see them again?!”

Some time during Lance’s outburst Keith had moved to pull the boy into an awkward but fierce hug. “They won’t forget you Lance. You’re unforgettable”

Lance scoffed and frowned. Suddenly he gripped at Keith’s shoulders as he shook in his arms. His breath coming out in hiccupped gasps. “What if Stella gets back with Sonja’s dipshit father? Or—or Celeste?!” He hiccupped again, leaning his forehead against Keith’s shoulder. “What if…she’s getting to that age… What if I’m…not there—to protect her? What if—?”

Keith gently patted the back of Lance’s head trying to achieve an approximation of a comforting gesture. “Shhh Lance. Hey breathe.” He was carding his fingers through the wet strands now. Lance seemed to be slowly calming down, his breathing steadying. “Lance.”

Lance sniffled, face still resting on Keith’s shoulder. “Your family is going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Lance replied, voice sounding hollow.

“Yes I do because they have each other. You’re the one I’m worried about.” Lance’s whole body stiffened noticeably. Keith took a moment to register the position they were in. Lance was a physical person, but usually not with him. Physicality usually made Keith uncomfortable—mostly because it didn’t come naturally to him—but consoling Lance had been instinctual. Now the awkwardness of their position was rushing back to him and he jerked away quickly, almost causing Lance to lose his balance. “S-sorry I…”

Lance wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. They were still red-rimmed but the corners of his lips were turning up in a small smile. “Thank you Keith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He did! Keith totally did cradle Lance in his arms! Well maybe not cradle, more like hold.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it


	11. Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Repercussion play out from the previous chapter and Keith is beginning to feel like he can't hide anymore. We're getting close to the end here folks =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your patience and encouragement. I appreciate you all!

“What, the hell, was that?!” Pidge practically yells at Lance.

It’s just the three of them now. They’d returned to the castle hours ago. Keith and Lance had been reprimanded by Shiro —not only had they done something dangerous but they’d also ignored a direct order—and they’d briefed the Alteans. Lance and Keith had been soaked the whole time but Shiro was still mad and wouldn’t let them leave to change so they just stood there dripping all over the floor.

Pidge wasn’t convinced that the water was Lance’s real reason for wanting to make a hasty exit. It was like his eyes were magnetized to Keith. He was obviously trying not to look at him but then his eyes would dart over and then quickly away.

Keith wasn’t much better. Keith seemed to be trying even harder not to look at Lance. Pidge even thought he was doing a better job of it, barely moving his head and staring off into the far side of the room , until she realized that the console on the opposite wall was reflective. When she caught Keith’s eye in the reflection with one raised eyebrow she’d swear that he was blushing before he looked away.

Now they were in the little library room. Lance’s hair was sticking up at odd angles, still drying after his shower.

When Shiro had asked similar questions Lance and Keith had hung their heads and apologized. Instead of answering they had promised not to do ‘anything so idiotic’ ever again—Shiro’s phrasing. He hadn’t been satisfied without an answer but Keith had said, ‘ _Real-_ ly, it’s nothing’ is such a way that had Shiro looking at him suspiciously but also backing off. Pidge figured it must be some mentor/brother thing.

She, on the other hand, refused to accept not getting an answer. Shiro may have been too deep into Disappointed Space Dad mode to see what had happened between the two boys, and they’d all been too far away to hear what they’d said, but Pidge knew how Lance felt about Keith and she’d seen Keith put his arms around him.

Lance wrapped his arms around his waist, not meeting her eyes. His skin was still flushed from his shower but she could see even more color spring up in his cheeks.

“Pidge,” He started.

“No,” she said.

“Pidge, I—”

“—No! You don’t get to say you don’t want to talk about it!” She turned to Hunk for support. She didn’t even say anything to him, just made a face and gestured in Lance’s direction.

Lance was also looking at Hunk. Probably also trying to convince him to take his side.

Hunk threw up his hands in exasperation. The look on his face was so absurd that Pidge started laughing. She tried to stop it coming out with both hands but then she was laughing in earnest.

Lance was laughing too, throwing his head back. Hunk snickered then and they were all laughing together.

Pidge wasn’t sure how long it went on for. Her sides were tender and her jaw was sore but it felt good. She couldn’t remember how long it had been since she really laughed like that.

Lance was wiping the moisture from his eyes. He cried a little when he laughed hard enough, probably because he also seemed to forget how to breathe. Sometimes he would laugh so hard that no noise came out and his whole body would just shake. Hunk usually giggled at first but it always gave way to big belly laughs and sometimes he snorted which just made all of them laugh harder.

Pidge took a deep breath. She still couldn’t let it go but she tried for softer. “Lance, come on. Don’t you want to talk about it.” She didn’t say it like a question because it really wasn’t one.

He looked less guarded this time. “It was just…” he tapered off worrying at his bottom lip, which usually meant he was looking for words. “…a lot.”

Hunk gave Lance’s arm an encouraging pat and Pidge thought maybe she was being selfish making Lance talk about it now. She knew Lance would tell them, or at least Hunk, when he was ready. Even now, the two of them still talked to each other more than her.

She didn’t really have the right to be that upset about it. They’d been best friends and roommates for a year before she’d even joined the Garrison, and then she’d spent the little time she’d been there ignoring and avoiding them.

But also this whole Lance and Keith thing was an infuriating puzzle she had yet to solve. She was only human and Lance would forgive her. She knew they both accepted that this was just the way she was.

She nodded and smiled encouragingly, hoping he would go on.

And Lance didn’t disappoint. He explained about his family, and the way he loved thunderstorms. He described how it felt holding the twins close as they all fell asleep with humidity and electricity in the air. He told them how he suspected the twins weren’t scared anymore but just pretended because they liked to cuddle up with him. He told them how he always wished for storms when he was home on break. The whole time his face was dreamy and his eyes were far away. Hunk chimed in now and then asking about things Lance had told him or adding stories of his own from when he’d visited Lance’s family.

They were getting off track but Pidge couldn’t begrudge them. Lance seemed so happy now, talking about his family. She’d been able to tell that Lance was crying when he and Keith had met them under the lions.

She assumed Shiro hadn’t been able to tell because he wasn’t that cruel to reprimand Lance when he was visibly upset. Maybe he’d just thought it was the rain. He’d probably never seen Lance cry.

“And then rain! Real rain!” Lance exclaimed and Pidge was paying attention again. “I just froze Hunk.” He was looking at the other boy’s kind understanding face. “I needed to feel it too badly. I never…” He looked guarded again.

“I never expected Keith to stay with me and then he was…I don’t know…” He seemed frustrated with his inability to explain. “…there.”

“What did he say to you?” Pidge finally asked.

Lance shrugged, worrying his lip again. “Nothing special really. Just that things would be alright.”

“Because they will be,” Hunks says. “Your mom will kill me if I don’t bring you home in one piece and I really like those sweet fried things she makes,” Hunk jokes.

Lance’s eyes go wide. “Oh sopapillas! That’s it! That’s my first meal when I get home!”

They’d all talked about this before. Any time they thought of another food from Earth that they missed, it became their ‘first meal.’ Except for Pidge, she’d stuck with her mother’s meatloaf and peanut butter cookies from day one. 

~~~

He was avoiding Shiro, and Shiro probably knew it, and he definitely knew why. Keith had essentially promised to tell Shiro what was going on. Not in so many words, but that was how well they knew each other. Shiro had been pissed at him and Lance when they’d made it back to the lions, so pissed that he’d barely spoken in the short time from the surface back to the castle. He would bark at Keith to explain himself and then cut him off before he had a chance to open his mouth. “No. I don’t want to hear it.”

Keith had tried extra hard not to roll his eyes. He didn’t want to talk about it, especially not to Shiro but Shiro hadn’t seen what had happened between them—probably too pissed at being ignored. When Shiro had started yelling at them Keith wanted to defend Lance but knew the boy wouldn’t have wanted the others to see him as weak.

He sighed, thinking he may as well get it over with. It wasn’t like he could avoid Shiro forever even in a ship as large as this one.

~~~

Allura called them all back together to discuss the plans for the next mission. It had a higher risk of danger as they planned to make contact with the inhabitants. Allura and Shiro both reprimanded Keith and Lance again for not following orders, but Shiro seemed to have calmed down.

He was shooting knowing looks at Keith that made Pidge think they’d talked. Keith was glaring at Shiro but the older man looked un-phased and almost amused.

The plan was to stay on the ship tonight and land as near to an inhabited city as they could manage while broadcasting a message to warn the people of the area. They’d been able to tell that there was some degree of technology on the surface. Lance had asked if the broadcast could be ‘ _We come in Peace_ ’ or ‘ _Take me to your leader._ ’ The Alteans had thought these were wonderful ideas and the rest of them had snickered.

If the inhabitants were used to interplanetary visits like this they would send out an envoy to meet them halfway to the city limits. If not the team would approach the city limits on their own, cautiously, both to minimize possible threats and not scare the locals.

Coran would stay with the castle and Allura would accompany them. They had aerial images of the city. It wasn’t huge by any means but it was large enough that Pidge had to wonder why only a small area of the planet was inhabited.

Allura asked Pidge and Hunk to assist her in analyzing the plant samples they had collected. Pidge looked to Lance. Before they’d been called up to speak with the others, they had still been in the library.

Pidge had pressed the issue of Keith again. “You know he’s been acting really weird lately,” she’d said, which had peeked both the boys’ interest.

“What do you mean?” Lance asked. It affirmed Pidge’s suspicion that the boy was oblivious. Hunk just nodded. “Yeah I thought so too.”

Pidge had faced Lance. “He’s always watching you and he looks guilty when he gets caught and all the weird things he’s been saying and doing…”

Lance just stared back, confused.

Pidge had taken a deep breath knowing it might not go over well. “Have you ever thought that maybe he has feelings for you?”

Lance looked pained. Hunk said her name warningly.

“Pidgey, I already told you—“

“—yeah that something happened between you two but you never told me what! And maybe things are different now!”

“They’re not!”

“Lance,” she’d pleaded.

“You don’t understand…”

“Then explain it to me!”

He’d jumped up. “I can’t do this right now!” He’d shouted and then winced. “Sorry its just…I’m still…” He paused, not sure how to explain, “…raw. I’m…going to my room.”

“Lance,” she’d pleaded again not wanting him to walk away like that. Again she’d regretted saying anything. It was never worth seeing Lance hurting.

“Its okay manita,” he said gently, “just tired is all.”

When he was gone Pidge had looked at Hunk. “You see it too don’t you?”

Hunk had looked at her sympathetically. “You forget I was there the first time.”

“But what if there’s hope? So much has changed. Keith has changed!”

His sympathetic look had gotten sadder.

“Sometimes hope is the stone that sharpens disappointment.”

Now she was being ushered away by Allura. She looked back at Lance who’d put on a brave face for the meeting but his smiles hadn’t quite met his eyes. He’d pretty much asked to be left alone earlier but that didn’t mean she liked it.

Hunk put an arm on her shoulder as he pulled her along behind Allura. “He’ll feel better after a little time alone. We’ll go find him after if you’re still worried,” he whispered in her ear.

~~~

Painful wasn’t a strong enough word to describe the conversation he’d had with Shiro. Keith hadn’t told him everything, just enough to get him off their backs; that Lance was homesick and Keith had comforted him. Shiro felt bad for not seeing it and helping Lance but Keith was pretty sure that was the point.

That didn’t distract Shiro from asking pointed questions about Keith though. Like ‘why would you be the one comforting Lance?’ Keith had tried to dodge the subject and he’d said as little as he could get away with but he was also fairly sure that Shiro had figured most of it out a long time ago. He didn’t admit anything, but he also didn’t deny anything either, which probably spoke volumes.

He’d glared at Shiro all through the mission-planning meeting. He was giving him that knowing look like he was a kid again. The one he used to give Keith when he’d complain about Lance being an asshole back at the Garrison. He looked far too happy considering the situation.

Shiro was acting like Keith’s ‘crush’ was no big deal and things would be fine. Keith didn’t really feel like correcting ‘crush’ to ‘so far gone there’s no coming back’ so he put up with Shiro’s ribbing even though it was most definitely not helping.

Keith's torn between wanting to train so hard he doesn’t have to think about this, and overanalyzing what happened between him and Lance. In a surprising reversal of character, he decided to go to the observation deck.

He can admit to himself that he's hoping Lance would be there too, just like the other night, even so, he was still surprised to see the other boy.

Lance’s head was turned away from the door. Keith wasn't hiding anymore, but he also wasn't going out of his way to draw attention to himself. He didn’t want to interrupt.

_“Heart old and testified_  
_Tell me that I'm not crazy_  
_I'm not asking for a lot_  
_Just that you're honest with me_  
_My pride is all I got_  
_I'm saying baby”_

Keith took the opportunity to really look at Lance as he played. It was an undeniable fact that Lance was gorgeous, and in the kind of way where people—or aliens—that didn’t swing that way would still probably admit to finding him attractive.

_“Please have mercy on me_  
_Take it easy on my heart_  
_Even though you don't mean to hurt me_  
_You keep tearing me apart_  
_Would you please have mercy on me_  
_I'm a puppet on your string_  
_And even though you got good intentions_  
_I need you to set me free_  
_Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart_  
_Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart”_

 

How then could Keith be blamed for being drawn to him? Because Keith was very gay, and very trapped on a large, mostly empty ship with only six other people, one of which was a fucking Adonis. Well two if you were counting Shiro but Keith had stopped counting Shiro a long time ago. Even Hunk was pretty nice looking, Keith thought, and he could objectively say that the girls were beautiful in their own way, but none of them compared to Lance. 

Lance was remarkable.

Lance was breath taking.

Lance was passionate and emotive and the way he was singing was getting to Keith in a way that made him shiver.

_“Consuming all the air inside my lungs_  
_Ripping all the skin from off my bones_  
_I'm prepared to sacrifice my life_  
_I would gladly do it twice”_

Watching Lance sing always captivated Keith but this felt like a tidal wave. Keith’s heart skipped a beat with every hard strum of the guitar. He felt like he was sinking under the power of it

_“I'm begging you for mercy, mercy_  
_Begging you, begging you, please, baby_  
_I'm begging you for mercy, mercy_  
_Ooh, I'm begging you, I'm begging you”_

Too soon the song ended and Keith stared as Lance finally looked up at him, for once refusing to look away. It didn’t matter that Lance would probably be able to read Keith’s thoughts from his face, or that he probably looked a little like he wanted to devour him. Keith was too tired to try to hide it. He wasn’t sure it mattered anymore, he didn’t know how it could stay a secret much longer.

Lance’s eyes widened in surprise and then something flickered across them too quickly for Keith to identify.

Lance grinned but Keith could tell it was for show by the way his eyes looked guarded. “Come on over here Korean Cowboy. I’m taking requests but I’m gonna warn you that I’m not that familiar with K pop, and Country just really isn’t my thing—unless we’re talking Taylor Swift because I do love me some Tay Swift…”

Lance kept talking and Keith listened, smiling and laughing at the other boy’s antics, but his mind was reeling. Lance must have seen it in Keith’s eyes, the desire, but either he was oblivious or he was ignoring it because he kept talking like everything was normal.

And Keith thought, if someone had asked him to guess what that look on Lance’s face had meant he would have said:

_Hope._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mercy - Shawn Mendez (Cover by Leroy Sanchez)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FukU1jkb0uc
> 
> I really wanted to put the whole song in but it would be weird if Keith always walked in at the beginning of a song...
> 
> Also I have been doing some slapdash editing and previous chapter fact checking =/ with these last few chapters so I apologize for any glaring errors...especially the tense in the last part. Not sure wtf happened...


	12. Shape of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron finally comes into contact with the people of the planet Cnydar

Keith knew he was dreaming because Lance was looking at him like he was the last person on Earth. The look in his eyes was warm and welcoming. A look the other boy wore often but never directed at Keith.

 

He also knew it was a dream because the two of them were sitting on a grassy hill under the stars with the faintest orange light of sunset just peaking over distant mountains.

 

There was nothing particularly special or exciting about this dream, Keith had even had similar incarnations of it before, but Keith would have stayed there forever given the choice. Being in Lance’s presence, laughing and talking with him, was everything Keith wanted most days.

 

He did not expect Lance to still be there when he opened his eyes, but there he was, just inches from him. He was so close Keith could feel the heat rolling off his lithe body in waves. Of course Lance runs hot, Keith thought to himself. Everything about the blue paladin was hot. ‘ _He should have been fire,’_ he thought momentarily, but no, Lance’s element was water because it balanced him. He’d be too hot to touch without it, and for Keith he still was.

 

They were laying on the hard surface of the observatory deck. They’d fallen asleep there after talking late into the night. Lance still hadn’t stirred. His face was lax with sleep, squished slightly against the hard floor. He looked childlike, all the lively creases of his face smoothed out. Keith knew it was creepy but he watched the other boy, cataloguing the faint dusting of freckles across his nose. The way his eyelashes caught the castle’s artificial light.

 

But even staring unabashedly at Lance could only distract him so much. The floor of the observatory room was hard and cold and the makeshift pillow he’d made from his jacket was doing nothing for the pain in his neck.

 

He was debating whether to wake Lance up out of kindness, or run away to avoid the inevitable awkwardness. The team always called Keith brave but running into battle was easy, holding a conversation was what terrified him. He still hadn’t decided when Lance stirred.

 

Without opening his eyes, the other boy rolled onto his hands and knees stretching his back and shoulders like a cat. Keith heard a symphony of cracks and pops accompanied by a mildly inappropriate sounding groan.

 

Keith stopped breathing when Lance cracked one eye open in a reversal of a signature wink.

 

“Morning hot stuff.”

 

Keith choked on air. Coughing a couple times to clear his throat, he finally managed to say, “wh..at?”

 

Lance chuckled. It came out husky from lack of use and Keith was pretty positive he would die here in this room. “You know…cuz you’re the red paladin and all? Fire? ‘Hot’ stuff?”

 

Keith watched as Lance stretched his arms back above his head, cracking his neck side to side. “Mmmm that feels better.” The other boy swept gracefully to his feet and leaned down to offer Keith a hand.

 

Keith let Lance pull him shakily to his feet disbelieving of the other boy’s easy movements. They’d both slept on the hard unforgiving floor of the observatory deck.

 

“How?!” Keith flailed his hands at the taller boy, waving them up and down. “How are you just fine after sleeping like that?”

 

“What? With you?” Lance smirked. “You’re right. Not sure how I survived.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes so hard it hurt. “You know what I’m saying lance.” He rubbed the juncture of his neck and shoulders.

 

Lance huffed a laugh. “Guess I’m used to sleeping in odd positions.”

 

Keith raised an eyebrow at that.

 

It was Lance’s turn to roll his eyes. “Having baby siblings is a lot like having pets.”

 

Keith must have looked as confused as he felt because Lance continued as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Pets and adorable twin babies, if they fall asleep on you, you can’t move.”

 

“Wouldn’t you just move them off you?”

 

Lance gasped dramatically. “You’re a monster!”

 

“No you could be gentle! If you did it carefully—“

 

Lance sliced a hand through the air between them as if physically cutting off his words. “—Something cute falls asleep on you, you stay there until you die or it wakes up. Thems the rules.”

 

If Keith rolled his eyes anymore he was going to give himself a headache. But maybe there was something to the rule. He thought about Lance’s long lashes just dusting high cheekbones, his soft breath so close he could feel the warmth on his neck. He didn’t know much about pets or babies but he did know about cute—if often infuriating—paladins. If Lance had fallen asleep on him he may have chosen death over disturbing him.

 

Lance was giving him an odd look probably because Keith had been quietly staring at him for some time now. The taller boy made to speak but Keith was saved by the proverbial Altean bell.

 

“Paladins!” Allura’s voice rang out confident and clear. “Man your stations! We will be approaching the planet’s surface shortly.”

 

Lance smiled the way he always did when he was about to use a terrible line, toothy but lopsided, “better get to the dance floor because they’re playing our song.” He swept out of the room dramatically, leaving Keith alone, hating himself a little for the effect Lance’s words had on him.

 

He sighed loudly, knowing that this was his future, chasing an idiot and terrible flirt all over the universe, hoping he never finds out just how head over heels he is for him.

 

~~~

 

Pidge’s first course of action when she got to the bridge would be to remind Allura that she has no intention of ‘man’ –ing anything and then she had roughly a hundred more questions about this plan.

 

She was fully immersed in these thoughts as she made her way to where she would meet the others but she was rudely interrupted when she was met with an unforgiving force. Before she could think ‘who put that wall there,’ she realized that the object in her path was actually Keith.

 

“Keith! Sorry dude I didn’t see you there.” He was holding on to one of her arms to keep her from falling and looking at her with concern.

 

“No Pidge, I’m sorry! I didn’t hurt you did I? I wasn’t looking where I was going. I didn’t even see you.” He was rambling, at least for Keith.

 

“Yeah I wasn’t looking either. Too excited you know? And don’t feel bad, I mean I know you think you’re a tough guy and all but just cuz I’m a girl doesn’t mean I can’t take a hit. I am just as much a paladin as you are.”

 

Maybe it was Allura’s phrasing, or the fact that Pidge was stuck on a ship with only boys and a ethereal space goddess for company, but she could tell that the last part came out a little petulant.

 

Before she could apologize, Keith beat her too it. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry. We shouldn’t treat you different because you’re a girl and I’ll work on that but you are also younger, smaller, and less physical than the rest of us…”

 

Pidge opened her mouth to protest but Keith cut her off. “You can’t ask us not to treat you like a younger sibling because we all see you that way.”

 

She forgot what she had been planning to say. “You…wha?”

 

A dusting of pink appeared high on Keith’s cheeks and the look on his face was guilty like he’d been caught. “I…I mean…”

 

Before Keith had a chance to finish what she could only assume was a lame excuse, Pidge was throwing her arms around Keith’s waist.

 

“Oof,” Keith finished.

 

She knew she was being childish but she didn’t much care as she pressed her face into Keith’s unsurprisingly hard stomach. “Thanks Keef, but stop treating me like a kid.”

 

She felt him rustle her hair affectionately. “Yeah Pidge. I’ll work on it,” he chuckled.

 

“Paladins! To stations!” Allura’s voice rang out clear like a bell.

 

“Shit!” grumbled Pidge, letting Keith go. “You better run Keith. You still need to get your armor on.”

 

She heard him utter ‘fuck’ as he took off down the hallway back toward the barracks.

 

~~~

 

Even with his embarrassing run in with the youngest but often most terrifying member of the team, he wasn’t the last person up to the bridge.

 

Lance strolled in unabashedly and Keith’s heart lurched in his chest. Past Lance’s cocky grin Keith could see him soft and quiet. It made him want to go back to that moment forever. Allura and Shiro were talking but Keith barely heard them. Lance was rubbing the back of his neck the way he always did when he was becoming uncomfortable with attention.

 

Keith suddenly came back to the conversation when he heard Allura say Lance’s name. “What?”

 

“Keith,” Shiro admonished, “please pay attention.”

 

Keith looked to Lance. The other boy seemed stunned but his lips were just curling up at the corners. So something good then.

 

“I was just saying that Lance would be accompanying me to the surface.” That made sense. After Allura and Coran, Lance was the next best choice for diplomacy meetings. When he wasn’t trying to be a flirtatious idiot Keith could admit that the other boy was very good with people.

 

He had a natural charisma and charm that drew people to him. Lance inspires trust in everyone he meets, probably because of how trusting he is himself—Keith thought briefly of their run-in with Nyma and Rolo.

 

Shiro was also great at diplomacy but as the two leaders of Voltron, Allura and Shiro never went on the same mission together. It was kind of like the President and Vice President flying on separate planes. If something happened to one of them the other would have to take full responsibility for the team.

 

For that same reason Coran would stay with the castleship if Allura was going to the surface. As the only other Altean in the Universe he was the only person who stood a chance of flying the ship if something happened to Allura.

 

Since they still did not have a lot of information on this planet Keith would bet that Allura wanted as few paladins on the surface as possible so that the rest could be ready to dispatch their lions if they ran into any problems. She was taking Lance, which meant that Hunk would stay at the castle—he had the only other long-range weapon. That meant Keith or Pidge and the choice was obvious to him.

 

“I’ll go with you.”

 

Shiro shot him a disapproving look. Keith had obviously missed more of the conversation than he had thought.

 

“Lance and Allura will meet with the envoy from Cnydar. The rest of us will stay with the castle ready to pilot our lions at a moments notice.”

 

Keith’s blood ran cold. If something went wrong it wouldn’t be enough. Lance and Allura could easily be taken or killed in the time it would take for them to deploy their lions. Keith understood Allura’s reasoning not to bring the lions immediately to the surface—some would take it as an act of war—but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Before he could think it through he said as much, “you can’t go out there alone! What if something happens?!”

 

He watched as a storm passed across Lance’s face. Allura didn’t look crazy about the implication either but she simply raised one elegant brow.

 

“You think I can’t do it.” Lance accused. The room was so quiet.

 

“No! Lance, that’s not—”

 

“—you may be perfect but the rest of us are merely human.” Keith winced at Lance’s tone, totally devoid of emotion. He didn’t even sound angry, just…quiet.

 

“I didn’t mean—it’s just—you could get hurt…”

 

“And you think I don’t know that? You think I wouldn’t do as much as anyone else on this team?”

 

“I just meant…” Keith floundered for words.

 

“Oh I know what you meant.” His tone was dangerous. A shadow passed across his face but then he turned, nodding curtly to Allura. “I think we have a date beautiful.”

Keith was left staring at the space Lance used to be in, completely shell-shocked.

 

He had totally fucked up.

 

~~~

 

The tension among the team was high. Lance had closed his team channel so that only Allura could hear him. Lance had said it was meant to limit distractions but Pidge knew better. It also meant the rest of the team heard only Allura’s side of their conversation.

 

“…I don’t know Lance. The water does not seem to be dangerous so there is the possibility…”

 

“…well I didn’t tell you to stand in it now did I?”

 

“…yes Lance I would miss you if you died terribly from space water disease…”

 

Keith had barely spoken since the blowout with Lance on the bridge. It wasn’t unusual for him to be quiet, but the weight of the silence felt heavy. Pidge would have thought his comm. was off too if it weren’t for the slight hum and crackle.

 

He and Shiro had been against Lance cutting the communication but Allura had stepped in to cover for the blue paladin. She’d assured them that Lance would be in touch with her and she would stay in touch with the rest of the team. Pidge and Hunk had backed her play. And it was true, even though it wasn’t the real reason for it; Lance would have fewer distractions without the others in his ear.

 

Pidge had a feeling Keith wouldn’t be any less of a distraction to Lance even silenced, but Lance was a master of avoidance so she hoped he’d be fine.

 

~~~

The negotiations had gone well. It had been frustrating only hearing Allura’s side of the conversation but the Cnydarians were a surprisingly trusting race and it wasn’t long before Keith and the others were invited down to the surface.

 

Coran stayed behind with the ship and the four paladins split up between the green lion and Red to make their way to the surface.

 

Keith had hoped Lance would be over their fight from earlier but he wasn’t at all surprised as the blue pilot continued to give him the cold shoulder. He also knew he deserved it.

 

He may not have meant to imply that Lance was incapable of handling himself but he’d had a few hours to dwell on it and he could see where Lance was coming from.

 

They’d come a long way recently in becoming friends, but there was still a shadow of animosity lingering between them. After all they’d put each other through Keith really couldn’t blame Lance for always assuming the worst when it came to him.

 

The negotiations seemed to stretch on forever. Keith always hated this part of saving the universe so it wasn’t surprising that he felt like he was bursting out of his skin, but Lance, who really seemed to enjoy diplomacy also looked tired and restless.

 

Keith remembered the way they’d fallen asleep together after hours of talking and felt sympathy for the taller boy. As if he could hear Keith’s thoughts, Lance looked at Keith for the first time in hours.

 

Keith hoped Lance could read the regret on his face.

 

Lance rolled his eyes but it didn’t have the hard edge of anger anymore and Keith thought maybe he was forgiven, or at least on the way there.

 

After a couple more hours the sun was starting to go down. The treatise was finally completed and all of the members of Voltron and the leaders of the Cnydrians had signed. According to their customs, it was time to celebrate.

 

The team was led to a giant amphitheatre with a large recessed fire pit in the center but instead of an open flame there were softly glowing embers. Keith would later be shocked to notice that they stayed consistently glowing all night without tending. He’d have to ask Pidge about it later.

 

The team was given a place of honor around the circle and one of the main Cnydarian women from the peace negotiations approached them.

 

“Here it is customary to greet new friends with music and dance.” She said.

 

Lance’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. It did funny things in Keith’s chest. The blue paladin was rocking up and down on the balls of his feet and rubbing his hands together.

 

Keith’s immediate thought was that he hadn’t brought his ‘alien’ guitar. And why would he have? It’s not like any of them would have guessed he would have needed it. He wasn’t really sure why this was making him so anxious, he just knew that he didn’t want to see Lance’s smile falter.

 

The Cnydarian that had approached them appeared to be young, her skin—or whatever you would call it—was pink and slightly translucent.

 

The people of this planet were…jellyfish-like for a lack of better word, and they varied in color from red to blue with all possible shades in between. It seemed to Keith that the women were pink and the men blue, but that left a wide range of purple people that Keith wasn’t sure about. Some of them seemed quite feminine—by Earth standards, some masculine, but most seemed an amalgamation of both.

 

The people of Cnydar were paired in every possible arrangement as well and in some cases, more than _paired_ from what Keith had seen.

 

Their skin was iridescent and slightly transparent. It was squishy—Keith would have preferred not to know that…there was a reason he was attracted to men. Women just felt sort of…soft to him. And not in the way that Lance’s skin was soft, or the way his hair looked soft…Keith tried to shake himself from his thoughts. He was getting distracted again.

 

He looked back to their host—Scypha he believed her name was—like many of her fellow Cnydarians had strange gelatinous tendrils hanging from the top of her head almost like hair. They looked different on every Cnydarian and Keith wondered if they could be cut like normal hair, but he thought it best not to ask.

 

Keith slowly tuned back in to the conversation.

 

“We would like to perform a traditional song and dance for you, to welcome you to our planet, heroes of Voltron” she said, smiling brilliantly, the evening sun causing her to glow.

 

Keith allowed himself a moment to watch the colors dance across Lance’s face.

He was rubbing his hands together in glee. Allura—ever the diplomat—was the one to answer. “We would be very honored by your performance, and,” she looked to Lance, “I think that we may honor you with a performance of our own.”

 

Lance was practically vibrating, like he was bursting at the seams with energy. He whooped and threw a fist in the air. Allura rolled her eyes subtly but made no comment. Scypha seemed almost as happy.

 

Keith tried to hide the grin spreading across his face but Lance’s happiness was infectious.

 

Scypha asked them to sit and walked to the center of the Cnydarians. As one, they reached below the stone benches they were sitting on and pulled out…drums.

 

Keith was just close enough to hear Lance whisper, “yesssss” under his breathe.

 

The performance was unlike anything Keith had ever seen. The way the people of this planet moved was mesmerizing and the beat of the drum was enthralling. When they raised their voices in an ethereal and haunting melody, Keith forgot to breath.

 

When the performance came to an end Keith seemed to come out of the haze more quickly then the others. He saw the dazed looks on their faces; even Shiro who was especially vigilant seemed a little hazy.

 

Keith suddenly worried about hypnotism. He worried about their responsiveness had there been an attack, but the others were coming back to themselves. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge broke the silence together, “Whoa…” and then the rest of the team was clapping and Keith joined in.

 

Scypha and some of the other young girls giggled and blushed under their praise—Keith wasn’t really sure how he could tell though—their skin being pink already.

 

“Lahnce,” one of the other girls said, addressing the blue paladin, “we have heard that you are much accomplished in music making.”

 

Lance smiled in the way he always did when trying to make a good impression.

 

Scypha cut in, “we were very much hoping you would perform for us.” She batted her eyes and tilted her head. Keith felt his eye twitch. Lance flirted with women on every planet they visited and it wasn’t unheard of that they flirted back, but they hadn’t been to another planet since Keith had realized how screwed he was and watching all of the Cnydarian women fawn over Lance was not helping.

 

He hadn’t intended to speak but he was saying, “he didn’t bring his instrument” before he could stop himself. He also hadn’t meant it to sound so rude but there was no changing that now.

 

Lance glanced at him for the first time since their possibly truce. When he turned back to the gaggle of girls he raised his hand to his signature smirk. “Oh I **always** bring my instrument.”

 

Shiro was a little late with his typical, “LANCE!”

 

“He’s right though, your guitar is in the castle,” Hunk reminded him.

 

“It’s all good. I’ve got an idea. Pidge, Hunk, I’ll need your help.” He pulled the two of them away from the rest of the team and the Cnydarians. As he walked away he spoke over his shoulder to their host, “we’ll be ready in no time!”

 

Keith watched the three paladins talk animatedly. Hunk seemed excited but Pidge looked annoyed. She was harder to read though because she acted like she hated everything.

 

The three returned to the group after a few more minutes of discussion.

 

Lance was talking to Scypha in a hushed tone so Keith couldn’t hear what he was saying but whatever is was the girl was very happy about it. Keith tightened his fist.

 

Scypha turned to her comrades and spoke to them in a hushed voice. They nodded happily and dispersed. One of them returned to where Pidge, Hunk, and Lance stood holding three of the drums the Cnydarians had used during their performance.

 

Pidge still didn’t look happy about this. Keith overheard Lance refer to her as their little metronome.

 

They chose a bench where all three of them could sit comfortably and Lance taught Pidge then Hunk a sequence of beats. Then he started them off.

 

The song seemed vaguely familiar to Keith but it was hard to tell.

 

The Cnydarians were bobbing to the beat smiling and putting their hands together. Lance was in his element with his cocky grin and deft hands. Keith really hoped he planned to sing. He’d been looking forward to hearing his voice all day.

 

Lance was nodding at Pidge and Hunk—encouraging them no doubt, but Keith couldn’t hear him over the drums. Eventually he stood and began to sing:

 

“The club isn't the best place to find a lover

So the bar is where I go

Me and my friends at the table doing shots

Drinking fast and then we talk slow”

 

 

 

The Cnydarians cheered, some of the girls—and even the guys—practically swooning over the blue paladin. They hadn’t been prepared but Keith had been. What Keith wasn’t prepared for was when Lance started dancing.

 

“And you come over and start up a conversation with just me

And trust me I'll give it a chance now

Take my hand, stop, put Van the Man on the jukebox

And then we start to dance”

 

It started out as walking but the other boy was swaying his hips in time to the beat. He walked over to where Scypha was and extended his hand in invitation, all the time singing and swaying. Keith would have been impressed if he hadn’t stalled out somewhere between super turned on and super jealous…not that he wanted to dance with Lance. He just didn’t want anyone else to.

 

Lance stopped singing to show Scypha how he wanted her to move. Keith couldn’t hear what they were saying but he watched the way Lance moved her around and pulled her against him. It looked like some sort of ballroom dance. Not stiff and serious like the waltz and foxtrot they taught at the Garrison, but loose and flirty.

 

Scypha was catching on quickly, following Lance as he swung her this way and that. When Lance seemed sure that Scypha could handle the moves without help, evening spinning and dipping her a few times, he began to sing again. This time in Spanish and it sent shivers down Keith’s spine.

 

“y ahora estamos cantando así

Me enamoraste tan solo tú

Como un imán en la multitud

Me llevas hasta tus labios tu

Me tienes loco y lo sabes

Tu cuerpo es tu gran virtud

Una silueta a contra luz

Cada paso que tu das un nuevo sur”

 

Keith would be impressed with how quickly Scypha had picked up the dance if it wasn’t so infuriating. He’d been right, this dance was nothing like the foxtrot he had been forced to learn. Lance and Scypha were beautifully in sync with one another. They spun and twisted and grabbed at each other dramatically. It was intimate and sexy and Keith wanted nothing more than to look away but he couldn’t.

 

“Salir puede no ser la mejor idea para encontrar el amor

Así que mejor me quedo con mis amigos

Tomando algo hasta que salga el sol

Entonces te acercas a mi diciendo "¿como estas?"

Pues allá mucho mejor

Me agarras bien de la mano dedos al piano

Mientras que canto esta canción

Sabes que quiero tu amor

Un amor que yo siento dentro de mi

Sígueme sígueme sí, me vuelvo loco yo sin ti

Ya di, que no hablemos más

Agárrate más fuerte pégate a mi

Sígueme sígueme si

Sígueme sígueme si”

 

Lance pushed out and into a fancy spin that had Keith’s heart skipping beat. Smiling at their host, he guided her over to the other Cnydarians. She seemed to know his intentions because they each pulled another girl from the crowd and began teaching them the dance too.

 

The new girl Lance had picked seemed to be able to pick up the dance just from watching. Where Scypha had faltered a bit at first, this new girl was confident. It might have been an aspect of their species as Keith noted that the girl Scypha had chosen was also quick to catch on. Lance was chuckling at something the new girl had said, but Keith couldn’t hear it.

 

Keith swept his eyes over to his teammates, still happily drumming, though Pidge looked more concentrated than relaxed, Hunk looked like he was really enjoying himself. He bobbed his head to the beat and moved his shoulders.

 

Since he wasn’t looking at him, Keith startled a bit when Lance began to sing again. This time in English.

 

“Girl, you know I want your love

Your love was handmade for somebody like me

Come on now, follow my lead

I may be crazy, don't mind me

Say, boy, let's not talk too much”

 

He grabbed onto the new girl’s waist to stop her mid spin so she was off to one side of him and then body rolled down then up while singing directly to her.

 

“Grab on my waist and put that body on me

Come on now, follow my lead

Come, come on now, follow my lead”

 

Seemingly not to be out done, the girl spun herself back into Lance’s arms and body rolled up his body before spinning him out.

 

Lance grinned dopily and laughed. When they were back in the starting position he leaned in to the girl.

 

Keith had the sudden horrifying feeling that Lance was going to kiss her, but he must have just whispered something. The girl smiled and nodded.

 

Lance returned the nod and picked up what Keith could only assume was the chorus.

 

“I'm in love with the shape of you

We push and pull like a magnet do

Although my heart is falling too

I'm in love with your body”

 

They kept up the push and pull of the footwork but dropped their hands, leaning way in to the other with each forward step and back with the back step.

 

“And last night you were in my room

And now my bedsheets smell like you

Every day discovering something brand new

I'm in love with your body”

 

Lance pointed to Hunk without looking at him and as if on que they sung together.

 

“Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I

I'm in love with your body

Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I

I'm in love with your body

Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I

I'm in love with your body”

 

Hunk nudged Pidge’s shoulder to try to get her to join in but she just looked at him grumpily and missed a couple beats before recovering.

 

Some of the Cnydarians came over to take over for Hunk and Pidge while others joined the four dancers, picking up the dance quickly even without a knowledgeable lead.

 

When Keith caught sight of Lance again he was walking straight for him. Keith froze, but Lance just winked at him as he walked past.

 

Keith had forgotten about Allura and Shiro behind him. It looked like Allura was trying to drag a reluctant Shiro to the dance floor. Keith was sympathetic—to who he wasn’t entirely sure—he knew Shiro was not the greatest dancer, but Allura looked so excited.

 

Keith heard Lance say “sorry Shiro, I’m cutting in” and watched Shiro shoot the blue paladin a grateful look.

 

Allura didn’t seem to care. She just wanted to dance .

 

As Allura and Lance raced down the aisle back to the dance floor, Keith stood and walked back to Shiro.

 

“You know he’s gonna steal your girl right?”

 

“I’m not sure he’s interested in her.” It was obvious that Shiro was trying to say more with that statement but Keith wasn’t really interested in finding out what it was.

 

He was watching Lance spin Allura around. She lacked whatever ability the Cnydarians seemed to have. Keith was a little surprised at how not graceful Allura was, but the two of them were laughing and hanging on to each other.

 

Lance looked so happy, and maybe Shiro was right. Lance had given up seriously flirting with Allura, but that wasn’t true of all the cute alien girls they ran into. Eventually Lance was going to find a girl he really liked—probably some sort of mermaid alien, although Keith wasn’t really sure how that would work—and ride off into the sunset.

 

Movement caught Keith’s eye. One of the Cnydarians that had been standing with Scypha and the other young women was moving toward Lance, quite determinedly, but this Cnydarian was blue.

 

Keith watched with a sinking feeling as the boy approached Lance and the Altean Princess he was twirling around in his arms. Between the music and the distance Keith couldn’t hear what was being said but he watched closely.

 

The boy seemed far less determined now that he’d reached his destination and his hesitancy quelled the momentary wariness that Keith had felt. And all at once he recognized the events unfolding in front of him. He watched anxiously.

 

Finally steeling his resolve, the boy tapped Lance on the shoulder. The paladin looked surprised when he faced the boy.

 

Keith could imagine what the Cnydarian was saying. He waited for Lance’s inevitable shutdown and likely disgust.

 

As the boy continued to speak—somewhat haltingly Keith could guess—Lance’s eyes swept the crowd. It was clear to Keith that he was looking for Shiro hoping to find support to rebuff the boy but his brown eyes locked with Keith’s and he felt a jolt.

 

When Lance turned back to the boy he was smiling the way he smiled at beautiful girls on exotic planets. Keith felt his heart stop as he watched the blue paladin extend a hand to the boy.

 

The boy’s cheeks seemed to darken to an almost navy blue before accepting Lance’s proffered hand. Lance spun him in easily, and just like the women of his species, this boy became an immediate expert at Earth dancing.

 

Keith felt unbridled rage burn through him. He knew it wasn’t fair. It didn’t even really make sense. He wasn’t sure who he was mad at; Lance, the Cnydarian boy, himself. He just knew that Lance was dancing with a boy, possibly flirting with him, and he was sitting alone and watching.

 

Without planning to, Keith go up from his seat on the amphitheatre and stalked down to the circle in the middle, still watching Lance and the blue alien.

 

As he approached, the song came to an end and the two boys stopped. They were still holding on to each other. They both seemed a little out of breath and Lance was smiling brilliantly.

 

From this angle Keith couldn’t see the other boy’s face but he watched with mounting horror as the Cnydarian leaned in and kissed Lance on the cheek. Lance’s eyes grew huge with shock and it would have been comical if Keith’s blood wasn’t boiling beneath his skin.

 

He was only a few feet from them now and suddenly realized he had no idea what he planned to do. As if they were magnetized Lance’s eyes met his and Keith couldn’t read the expression there but he couldn’t look away.

 

He didn’t notice when the Cnydarian boy looked between them with sudden realization dawning on his face and quietly excused himself.

 

The two paladins just stood on the dance floor and stared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I've had wicked writer's block and a lot of stuff going on. Hope you enjoy this update!
> 
> Shape of You - Ed Sheeran - Spanglish cover by Leroy Sanchez  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HImSwqyx9Ao


	13. Into You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where the last chapter left off. The paladins enjoy more of the Cnydarians' hospitality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been a long time in coming but this last year of my life has honestly been a crazy roller coaster. There should be one or two more chapters in this story and hopefully you won't have to wait so long for them. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me on this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Keith found himself on the dance floor without any idea of what he was going to do. He was staring into warm brown eyes blown wide with shock, from the Cnydarian boy’s kiss or Keith’s own sudden materialization, he wasn’t sure.

Without a clear goal in mind the rage that had overtaken him began to taper off.

After all it wasn’t the Cnydarian boy’s fault that he was barking up the wrong tree and Keith had no claim on Lance.

“Uh…Keith?”

Lance’s voice broke him out of his head. They were still staring at each other and Keith floundered.

He did what came naturally to him when in the midst of an awkward social situation; he shut down and ran away.

He had the presence of mind to not actually run but he was walking quite determinedly away from the taller boy. He could hear Lance calling his name and trying to follow but thankfully there were a lot of Cnidarians on the dance floor vying for Lance’s attention.

Shiro sidled up beside him. “Seriously?”

“Not a word…” He didn’t even look at the other man, just kept walking away from the others, to where, he wasn’t sure, he just needed to put distance between himself and baffled brown eyes.

Thankfully there was plenty to do on Cnydar and it wasn’t hard to avoid Lance for the rest of the day. Shiro took pity on him and brought him to the summit with the planet’s leaders while the others experienced more of the planet’s cultural and sightseeing offerings. Allura seemed ecstatic to be allowed to relax with the paladins for once but she made sure he and Shiro knew how to find her if they needed anything.

Seeing how happy she was, Keith made a note to offer to take over diplomatic duties for her more often. She may have been older than him—even when you subtracted 10,000 years—and a member of the most technologically forward and magical race they had come into contact with, but he had to remember that she was just a young woman who had lost her father and everything else she knew. He made a conscious decision to try a little harder with her.

Eventually the time came when he couldn’t hide anymore. The Cnydarians were putting on a feast for them and he would be sitting at the ceremonial head table right next to Lance. He hoped that his crazy behavior seemed a little less crazy from the outside, or that inspiration would strike and he would come up with a really great excuse for acting like a total idiot.

~~~

Pidge was in heaven. The Cnydarians were not as advanced as the Alteans or the Olkari by any means—according to Allura they were an incredibly young race, even younger than Earthlings—but they had some technology and fascinating chemistry. But it was the people themselves that were fascinating.

Allura had already pleaded with her to stop asking so many ‘inappropriate’ questions but Pidge found the whole ‘color spectrum aligned with gender expression’ thing fascinating and she was curious whether it could change throughout an individual’s lifetime and if so that meant there was some sort of mental component and that was even more fascinating.

Hunk was equally fascinated by the science but was just better at hiding it.

Lance was less fascinated in the science and more fascinated with all the purple people they encountered.

Pidge was used to him fawning over girls wherever they went, goofing around and making a fool of himself. She also knew now how to read the appreciate looks he made in the direction of male aliens, but this was awe and quiet appreciation in a way she wasn’t familiar with.

Allura didn’t seem to notice. She was off in her own world, so excited to get to experience everything a new planet had to offer that she didn’t notice the way Lance was acting. To be fair Lance purposefully hid his feelings from the rest of them. He was trying to operate unnoticed and only show the fun-loving side of himself.

Pidge still had a million questions but the Cnydarians were preparing a feast in honor of the alliance and they had asked Lance to perform. Hunk had told them about his skills with the alien guitar. As it turned out string instruments were less common on this planet as the inhabitants were so squishy and gelatinous.

Lance normally would have been ecstatic to perform for an audience but he seemed energetic in a way that seemed more nervous.

When their guide left them to help prepare for the festivities, taking Allura with them to meet up and finish the political talks with Keith and Shiro, Pidge cut right to the chase.

“Lance.”

The blue paladin jumped as if startled. He looked so deep in his thoughts, that it didn’t really surprise her.

“Yeah manita?” Pidge would have probably believed his nonchalance if she didn’t know him so well.

She made a face at him, quirking her eyebrow.

Lance was chewing on his lips and Hunk was oddly silent.

“If you don’t want to talk—.”

Pidge saw Lance put out his hand as she turned to head back towards the castle.

“—wait!”

She turned.

“I want to try again.” He said it all in one breath like he’d been punched in the stomach.

Pidge was confused. It didn’t track with anything they’d been talking about in the last couple hours, at least not that she could remember.

Hunk had walked up behind Lance and put a calming hand on the other boys shoulder. It seemed to work because he took a deep breath and continued in a normal breathing pattern. “With Keith, well…you know…letting him know how I feel…about him. And it probably won’t matter because I got my answer…but I just feel like…maybe…something has changed?”

He took a deep breath. “And maybe its just because we’re stuck here…and maybe that is better than nothing…even if—.”

Pidge put up a hand to stop him because it was obvious he was spiraling. Hunk tugged him in by the shoulder to give him a side hug.

“Less negativity, and more planning.” She couldn’t resist the urge to tap the tips of her fingers together in a cliché scheming motion.

~~~

The dinner was as awkward as Keith expected it to be. Lance was quiet, uncharacteristically so, and Keith had a buzz under his skin that he couldn’t shake.

The entertainment portion of the evening couldn’t come soon enough, until Keith realized who was headlining and his heart stuck in his throat.

Lance performing wasn’t going to do anything for the restless feeling in his limbs. If anything it would only make things worse.

Scypha tapped out a beat on one of the ceremonial drums that littered the banquet hall. It achieved the same effect as tapping a crystal glass at a wedding reception, conversations died down and all eyes were on the head table where the Paladins sat with Scypha in front of them.

A guide had explained to them the word that Scypha used to address the room. It translated to _friends_ on their Altean translators but on Cnydar the word was more than what _friends_ meant on Earth and it was arguably more than ‘family’ too. It was gender neutral and was defined by an interconnectedness of the soul and closeness of the heart. Lance had nodded when the guide explained it, _‘like a soul mate but instead of just one its everyone.’_

Keith didn’t really believe in soul mates and he was only really close to a handful of people—and most of them only recently, but he still thought the idea was beautiful and the look on Lance’s face, even more so.

Scypha had continued to address the audience while Keith was lost in his thoughts.

“Some of you saw him at the _introduction_ , but tonight he has a very special performance for us. He will be accompanying himself on a very special _instrument_.”

Keith heard some of the paladins snicker. The Cnydarians obviously did not have a word for guitar—or like _friend_  it didn’t quite translate. Keith turned to look at Lance. Where normally he loved being the center of attention, the blue paladin looked nervous. Keith couldn’t really blame him, but it was out of character for the other boy.

He watched as Lance took a deep breath and his whole attitude changed. His easy confidence returned. Anxiety was replaced with self-assurance. He grabbed his guitar from where it was hidden behind their table and strutted to where Scypha had set a stool, his signature sexy smirk on his face.

Before he sat down he leaned in to whisper something to the alien woman that Keith couldn’t hear. She nodded smiling.

“Paladins, please sit,” she waved her arm towards a row of seats in front of the stage, “so that you may better enjoy the performance.” She smiled brightly but Keith was looking at Lance. Their eyes locked for the first time since that morning.

The look in Lance’s eyes was unreadable.

Hunk was the one to nudge Keith into action. “Come on man. Front row seat,” he said smiling.

When they were all situated, Lance began. He led in with his guitar but looked directly at Keith when he began to sing:

_I'm so into you, I can barely breathe_  
_And all I wanna do is to fall in deep_  
_But close ain't close enough 'til we cross the line_  
_So name a game to play, and I'll roll the dice, yeah_

Keith felt a little bit like he was drowning. There didn’t seem to be enough air on this entire planet. He had the briefest thought that maybe they made a mistake when they analyzed the atmosphere—but no, he was being stupid. This pain in his chest was an all too familiar occurrence.

_Oh baby, look what you started_  
_The temperature's rising in here_  
_Is this gonna happen?_  
_Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move_  
_Ooh ooh ooh ooooh_  
_Before I make a move_

He knew he was being dramatic but he couldn’t help it. It was like Lance was singing directly to him. Their eyes were still locked and Keith really did feel like the temperature was rising in here. It was probably all the heat radiating from his rapidly reddening body. He could feel the blush spreading up his neck.

_So baby, come light me up and baby I'll let you on it_  
_A little bit dangerous, but baby, that's how I want it_  
_A little less conversation, and a little more touch my body_  
_'Cause I’m so into you, into you, into you_

Dead. Keith was dead. Or at least very close to death. Lance had barely glanced away from him, and sure—he knew it couldn’t have been more than a minute at this point, but it felt like eternity stretching out before him. He was lost in warm brown eyes and that voice, saying all of the things he wished were true.

_This could take some time, baby_  
_I made too many mistakes_  
_Better get this right, right, yea-yeah_  
_Oh baby, look what you started_  
_The temperature's rising in here_  
_Is this gonna happen?_  
_Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move_  
_Before I make a move_

  
Lance was still singing to him. It had been too long and it was too obvious. Keith had checked, no one was behind him. Lance was definitely singing to him. His mind was racing because things had been…different…between them.

_So baby, come light me up and baby I'll let you on it_  
_A little bit dangerous, but baby, that's how I want it_  
_A little less conversation, and a little more touch my body_  
_'Cause I’m so into you, into you, into you_

But Lance was straight, and as much as Keith wanted everything that had happened between them in these last few weeks to mean that, that fact was unchangeable. And suddenly this whole performance felt cruel. Keith could feel his heartbeat in his chest and pounding in his ears.

_Tell me what you came here for_  
_'Cause I can't, I can't take no more_  
_I'm on the edge with no control_  
_And I need, I need you to know_  
_You to know, ohOhOhoooh_

Keith must have done a good job at schooling his features because Lance, whose eyes were still locked on him like heat-seeking missiles, didn’t change his expression at all.

Lance must have noticed his strange behavior and put it together. Keith was kicking himself for being so obvious, not that there was much he could do to change it now.

But this…this was a nightmare. He’d been on the receiving end of Lance’s animosity before but this was on a whole other level. He stared at his hands on the table hoping no one could see his knuckles going white where they were clenched together.

It seemed like an eternity before the song ended. Keith couldn’t hear what was said but Lance excused himself.

He heard Pidge call to Lance but everything sounded far away, almost like he was under water. He could feel the other paladins looking at him but he didn’t meet their eyes. Before he realized what he planned to do he was following Lance out the door. He felt Shiro reach for him as he walked by but he pulled away. Anger was building in him like a fire in a furnace.

Lance hadn’t gotten very far. Either he was wrapped up in his head or he was ignoring Keith because his back was turned to him even as Keith stalked up behind him.

“What…the hell…was that?” Keith practically growled at the other boy.

Lance turned his head slightly so Keith knew he had heard. Keith couldn’t help thinking ‘ _how could you?_ ’ because he’d known that Lance could never return his feelings. He’d even imagined that Lance may not react well to finding out about Keith, but he’d never imagined Lance would be so cruel as to play with his heart or mock his feelings.

“I get it Keith.” If Keith had been calmer he would have registered the way Lance sounded.

 _‘Get it?’_ what could Lance possibly mean by that?

“It makes you uncomfortable that I’m attracted to you. Message received. We never have to talk about this again.”

This conversation had taken such a turn from what Keith expected that it took a moment for Keith’s brain to catch up.

“You…” His mouth was suddenly dry he couldn’t get the words past his lips much less out of his head. “But you—like women…”

Lance turned to glare at him now, his posture aggressively defensive. “Yeah. So do you have an issue with me being bisexual?” He waived his hands in the air.  
“Or is it just because I’m into you?” He was fuming now arms crossed as he stared Keith down.

Keith felt like a fish out of water. His eyes were wide and his mouth was gaping open as he futilely tried to process everything Lance was saying.

Lance quirked an eyebrow at him. He seemed apprehensively curious now that the silence had stretched on so long.

“Keith, I like you. Like a lot. I have for a very long time”

Keith would forever regret the words that finally came out of his gaping mouth. “But you were such an asshole…”

Lance’s eyebrow twitched. “Well you are not the easiest person to like.” He sighed. “And then you turned me down at the Garrison and you were always so much better than me at everything—what?” Lance cut off his own rambling, presumably as a reaction to Keith’s expression.

He’d frozen at Lance’s words and was now gaping in horror at the other boy. “When did I…?”

It was like something clicked for Lance. Keith was jealous, seeing as he was still utterly lost, but Lance had obviously come to some realization.

“You’re socially inept.”

Keith was taken aback. Sure, he wasn’t the greatest when it came to people or social interaction or really anything other than flying, but this really wasn’t the time and he really didn’t need a lecture from the social butterfly.“That’s not--.”

Lance put his hands up in defense “—no! I didn’t mean—I just realized that back then I didn’t know you like I do now. I didn’t know how absolutely clueless you are about everything, especially flirting…” Lance ran both hands through his hair.

“You flirted…with me? Back then—at all?”

Lance’s face was unimpressed. “So you’ve never seen a mirror or reflective surface in your life then?” Normally this would have caused Keith to roll his eyes but he was still reeling.

Lance groaned. “Somehow you not even realizing that you rejected me is so much worse…”

“Lance I—“ Lance cut him off with a wave of his hand. He tilted his face up to the sky, taking a deep breath. “Okay. This will probably sound crazy, but I am going to ask you out again and then you can say no—for real this time, and we can just move on and never speak about this, or possibly anything else, ever again. Cool?” He continued without waiting for Keith to reply. “Cool.”

He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Keith watched his shoulders rise and fall. He watched the setting evening suns reflect off the golden brown of his skin and paint fluttering shadows under his long lashes. Lance was abuzz with anxious energy but it just made him more radiant and alive. A blush colored his cheekbones.

“Keith, will you go out with me?”

In spite of the weirdness of the situation and this trying and never-ending day, Keith’s mouth quirked up on one side, jut a little. “Yes.”

Lance, who hadn’t been looking at him, stared in horror at him now. “Yes?”

“Yes,” Keith repeated, feeling oddly like he wanted to say it a hundred times, even shout it.

Lance made a strange strangled sound in his throat...


	14. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback, from Lance's perspective! Then the story picks up from Keith's perspective where we left off last chapter with Keith agreeing to go on out with Lance.

~~FlashBack~~~

“Hunk!” Lance called emphatically.

He’d only know the hulking mechanic for a short time but they had quickly become inseparable. He’d quickly given up the brief crush he had developed on the other boy because Hunk was gorgeous but clearly uninterested.

Lance fell just a little bit in love with every beautiful person he met and to him most people were beautiful. Most crushes were small fleeting things that turned into great friendships, but every so often someone would catch his eye in a way that was overwhelming.

“Lance!” Hunk cheerfully replied. They had seen each other just that morning in the mess hall but they were still ecstatic to see each other, as always. This behavior caused the rest of the students in their year to split between finding the two friends incredibly endearing and exceptionally annoying.

Hunk, the ethereal empath that he was, noticed Lance’s state of mind immediately. He looked into his face and asked, “What is it?”

“I’ve decided,” he said, “I’m finally going to do it.”

Lance didn’t need to explain any further, there was a recurring conversation between them that stood out more than the rest, and the topic of that conversation was Keith Kogane—expert fighter pilot.

Lance had never met anyone like Keith before. He was wild and untamable, closed off and stoic. His hair was pure black and it picked up color in the light like an oil spill or raven’s wings. His eyes were dark but seemed to glow with an internal flame. He was the most gorgeous boy that Lance had ever seen, and Lance was always on the lookout for gorgeous boys.

He also happened to be insanely talented and intelligent, two traits that Lance both admired and desired. Lance had gotten pretty far on hard work and perseverance but natural talent would have helped. He’d had to fight tooth and nail to get where he was and that all seemed to come easy to Keith. He probably would have hated the other boy if he hadn’t been so entirely taken with him.

Hunk grinned broadly at his friend.“Gonna bite the bullet?”

“Take the plunge.”

“Break the ice?”

“Take the bull by the horns.”

“Leap into the breach?”

“Oooh yeah I like that one.” Lance threw his fist in the air dramatically—the way he preferred to do most things. “I’m leaping into the breach and I’m not coming out until Keith is my boyfriend!”

They both snickered. In all seriousness though, Lance was ready. He’d talked it through with Hunk countless times, and Stella and Celeste had both told him he wasn’t allowed to talk about Keith anymore unless he asked the boy out.

He was officially at the point of ‘do or die.’

Hunk clapped him on the back with one of his huge hands. It was always a little harder than necessary but Lance found it to be grounding. “So how are you gonna do this man?”

Lance smiled wickedly and laid out his plans.

After hours of deliberation and many vetoes on Hunk’s part, Lance was left with a simpler plan than he intended, but as the time drew nearer he was glad. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been so nervous about anything in his life.

His free period was over. After this he would be going to flight theory—the class he shared with Keith—and he would have to spend the next 2 agonizing hours until class ended, second-guessing himself before he had a very tight window to try to speak to Keith. The other boy was usually the very first out the door and Lance sat all the way on the opposite side of their 10-person row.

Flight theory was one of the core classes at the Garrison. Every cadet had to take it—unless you were a beautiful mechanic genius that had tested out of it—so the class was huge. Lance actually liked a lot of the content of the class but a 2 hour lecture was a little difficult for him to sit through.

He’d requested to sit in the front row when seats had been assigned. The professor had given him a strange look but it wasn’t the kind of request and educator was apt to turn down.

With only the professor in front of him there was less for Lance to be distracted by, until he noticed Keith. The rows were semi circles to give ever student a good view of the professor. Since Lance and Keith were sat on either end of the front row, they were faced toward each other.

He’d seen Keith in the halls and read his name on all of the high score lists, and he’d read all about the ‘pilot prodigy with natural talent to rival Takashi Shirogane’ in the Galaxy forums. He’d had a crush on the guy before he’d even stepped into his first class on his first day.

Watching him listen to the lectures, take sporadic notes, and zone out was a whole different level of stalking that Lance wasn’t 100% comfortable with, but he couldn’t help it. He found the dark-haired boy captivating and more than a little distracting.

Lance wondered what it would be like to make him laugh, or even just smile. Keith didn’t smile much. Even when he seemed to be daydreaming it was more of a lopsided smirk.

Sometimes he wondered if Keith was the type of person to blush when he got embarrassed or flustered.

Lance was a full body blusher. It was hard to tell sometimes because of his complexion—thank god—but the heat would roll off of him in waves.

He was feeling a little warm now. Their unbelievably long class was coming to an end soon, which meant that he was approaching a turning point in his young life. Today would forever be known as the day that Keith became his boyfriend.

Even in his head, his _u_ _nshakable_ confidence sounded fake. He put on a good show most of the time but he was terrified. He’d never liked anyone like he liked Keith and it would be obvious to everyone that he wasn’t good enough for the Garrison’s most talented pilot.

“Now cadets it appears that most of you were able to stay awake.” The professor shot a pointed look at Keith, whose eyes were open but it was obvious that he was wrapped up in his head. He didn’t even notice being called out.

“I will see you all next week. Remember to read chapter 3.”

Lance had frantically packed his stuff the second that class was over. He’d have to book it out of class to catch up with Keith in the hallway.

Even after rushing out the door, Lance still almost lost track of the other boy. But he caught glimpses of black hair in the sea of cadets leaving their last class and heading back to the dorms.

“Hey Keith!”

The black haired boy whirled around, shock clear on his face. After the first few weeks of class most people had given up trying to talk to him.

Lance caught up to him while Keith stood stoically in the middle of the hallway. He smiled shyly at the other boy. “Hey Keith.”

Keith narrowed his eyes. “Yeah?”

Lance thought that this was off to a great start.

“Um, I’m Lance.” Keith looked at him expectantly but said nothing.

“I, uh,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I was wondering if you wanted to meet up and study together sometime?”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “I get top marks. Why would I study with you?”

That threw Lance for a loop but he’d built himself up to this moment. He wasn’t going to give up this easily. “Well yeah, you’re so great at everything that’s why I thought maybe you could help me out? Maybe I could buy you dinner for your trouble?” He hoped his confident smirk didn’t look as awkward and forced as it felt.

“Aren’t you a cargo pilot?”

Lance flinched at that. “Uh.”

“Not interested.” Keith stalked off.

Lance felt like the whole world turned sideways. He’d seen that interaction going a lot of different ways but that wasn’t one of them.

He was just glad that classes were over for the week and he could go hide in his room with Hunk, possibly forever.

He pushed his way through the crowds of excited cadets, ready for the weekend, with his head down and trying his best to hold back tears.

He really wanted to call his sisters just then but Celeste was at dance team and Stella was probably still at work. He wanted to talk to his mamá but he was too upset to keep his pronouns _straight_ —literally—and something felt wrong about pretending Keith was a girl—well more wrong than hiding the true gender of his male crushes always felt.

When he finally made it into his room after trying and failing to get the key in three times, Hunk was standing there with open arms and an understanding expression. “Get in here,” he said, wrapping Lance up into a solid hug.

Lance sniffled into his shoulder, still trying to fight back inevitable tears. “How’d you know?” he mumbled into Hunk’s shirt.

“Well, other than the lack of coordination in getting the door open, I figured that if it had…gone well…you wouldn’t be back here for a while.” Hunk gently stroked Lance’s back, resting a cheek on the other boy’s head as Lance started to shake. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lance shook his head even though it was still buried in Hunk’s chest. He did want to talk about it but he wasn’t sure if he could get the words out just then.

Hunk hummed. “Maybe later. Here sit down and I will get you some tea.” When Lance refused to let go Hunk laughed. “It’s not the end of the cuddling. I’ll make us some tea and we can cuddle up on my bed and watch a movie okay?” Lance looked up at him and reluctantly nodded. “And maybe a little later I can make us some snacks?”

Lance shrugged at that. He didn’t really feel like eating, actually he felt sick to his stomach.

~~~

“Yes?” Lance asked incredulously.

Keith nodded dumbly. He wasn’t sure how many times he’d said it at this point. “Yes.”

Lance let out another frustrated noise. He sounded like a wounded animal.

“I cannot believe this!” He was pacing and tugging on his hair.

Keith was still lost. He didn’t remember Lance speaking much to him before he’d started the whole ‘rivalry’ thing in earnest. He couldn’t pinpoint a time where he could have…

“When did you…?” He trailed off not really knowing how to say it.

Lance took a deep breath. He wasn’t facing Keith and Keith wasn’t sure if that was making this conversation harder or easier.

“A few months in to our first semester. I chased you down outside of flight theory. I’d been wanting to for months…” there was so much emotion in Lance’s voice, it made Keith’s heart ache. “I’d finally built up the courage. Hunk and I planned the whole thing.”

Keith winced at the mention of the other paladin. It was bad enough that he’d hurt Lance, but Hunk had known this whole time.  
“My sisters told me they didn’t want to hear another word about you until I asked you out.” Lance chuckled but it sounded empty. “I asked if you wanted to study together sometime and offered to take you to dinner.”

Keith cursed. He remembered that. “I called you a cargo pilot.” He’d known then that it would hurt the other boy and he knew better now what it really meant to Lance. He hadn’t known what Lance wanted from him back then, but he’d assumed the worst because Lance had been beautiful and popular and there was no reason for him to want to be around Keith unless it was to ridicule him.

Lance whirled on him. “You didn’t even know my name!”

Keith closed his eyes. “That’s not true,” he said guiltily, because it wasn’t. He’d known exactly who Lance was.

Lance was pissed. “You didn’t remember my name when we found Shiro!”

Keith couldn’t meet the other boy’s eyes. “That’s also not true.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Lance threw his hands to either side. “What is wrong with you?!”

“I’m an asshole?” Keith guessed.

Lance huffed, “clearly.”

“And you’re gorgeous and I didn’t know how to talk to you”

Lance froze.

“I didn’t know what you wanted but I never would have thought it was…me.” Keith wasn’t sure why he was being so forthcoming, he just knew that he couldn’t stop talking until he convinced Lance of…he wasn’t even sure anymore, but it felt like if Lance walked away from him now they were out of chances.

Lance narrowed his eyes. “I spent months pining over you, and then hating you—but I couldn’t _really_ hate you because…” He waived his hand at Keith, indicating all of him, “and then you got kicked out of school and I thought now, _now_ I can get over you, but I still couldn’t stop thinking about you. And then all of this,” he waved his hand around, “and it’s been torture being here with you.”

Keith winced. “I’m sorry—“

Lance snorted. “And now you’re telling me what exactly?”

Keith took a deep breath that did nothing to calm himself. Lance had already spilled enough of his guts, had made the first move—twice now—if Keith wanted _this_ to…be something, he’d have to meet the other boy halfway. “I like you too.”

Lance didn’t look like he believed that so Keith forged on before Lance could interrupt him. “I’m sorry I was too dense to see it back then. And I am _really_ sorry that I hurt you, but being here with you, fighting beside you, has been the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time. And I know that I don’t deserve you, especially after all that I put you through, but I am hoping that maybe you’ll let me start over.”

Lance was still looking at him distrustfully. Keith stuck out his hand to the other boy. “Lance, you are beautiful, and funny, and smart, and an incredibly talented pilot.”

When Lance put his hand in Keith’s, Keith pulled him in closer. “You amaze me.”

They stared at each other for a moment. “Just because you say nice things to me doesn’t mean you’re forgiven you know.”

Lance didn’t sound that convincing while he was staring at Keith’s lips. “Oh yeah?”

Lance looked up at him. “Yeah,” he breathed. He leaned in, slowly enough that Keith could have stopped him if he wanted to. But he really didn’t want to.

Kissing Lance felt both exhilarating and grounding somehow. It started slow and gentle but quickly turned more fervent. Keith wasn’t sure when Lance’s hands had slipped into his hair but he moaned as the other boy gently tugged at his nape.

Lance pulled back, and even though Keith needed to breath, he couldn’t help chasing his lips. “Sorry,” Lance murmured against his mouth, “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a _very_ long time.”

Keith chuckled softly, “I knew you protested a bit too much,” thinking of all the times Lance had made fun of his hair and called him ‘Mullet.’ He slid one hand down to the other boy’s hip and pressed his thumb against his hipbone, eliciting a shudder. “And I actually kinda like it.”

Lance hummed and pulled him in for another kiss, running his nails over Keith scalp in a way that caused Keith to moan. Lance didn’t waste any time licking in to Keith’s open mouth.

Kissing was like anything else between them. A competition. But Keith got the distinct feeling that they were both winning.

He wasn’t sure how much longer they continued like that but when they pulled apart they were both breathing heavily. Lance had his arms around Keith’s shoulders and Keith was holding him close by his waist. He had to tilt his face up just barely to look into warm brown eyes. For a moment, he just enjoyed looking at them up close and waited until their breathing evened out.

Lance was the first one to break the silence, a look like awe on his face, “This doesn’t feel real.”

Keith smiled at that, “How can I make it feel real?” he asked, voice low.

That made Lance smile and blush. “Ok, I know that was meant to be sexy—and believe me. It totally was! But…” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. “I think maybe it would help me to talk…about this.”

Keith grinned at that and the way Lance seemed so embarrassed and hopeful. He was just glad _this_ was a _this_. “Talking is not my favorite thing,” Lance rolled his eyes. “but if it means we can do more kissing then I would definitely like to talk about _this_.”

Lance sighed in relief. “Definitely more kissing.” He leaned in and left a chaste but lingering kiss on Keith’s lips as if to illustrate his point, then grabbed Keith’s hand and took off toward the castle, tugging Keith behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will definitely be a couple more chapters to this fic. The next chapter will probably be entirely from Keith's perspective. I hope you enjoy!


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